Sabrina88 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 (edited) Hello I met my boyfriend on Facebook we carried on the relation for 2 years..recently we planned to meet each other and stayed along with each other for 15 days .he was very loving and caring and during this trip a friend of mine was at the same place we were so i went with my boyfriend to meet her.we were all together for 2 days .after meeting my friend my boyfriend behaved differently for a day but then he was again that loving and caring.then we went back to our countries and he started ignoring me and now after 5 months he broke up with me and proposed that friend of mine and told her that the very first time he me her he was attracted to her.this is now hurting me .i am not able to get over this.is it that he was just having fun with me and dint love me or is it something that he didnt like me but was just showing care as he thought why not have fun for 15 days.is this not cheating .please help me I am confused Edited August 24, 2013 by Sabrina88 Misspelt Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 Hello I met my boyfriend on Facebook we carried on the relation for 2 years..recently we planned to meet each other and stayed along with each other for 15 days .he was very loving and caring and during this trip a friend of mine was at the same place we were so i went with my boyfriend to meet her.we were all together for 2 days .after meeting my friend my boyfriend behaved differently for a day but then he was again that loving and caring.then we went back to our countries and he started ignoring me and now after 5 months he broke up with me and proposed that friend of mine and told her that the very first time he me her he was attracted to her.this is now hurting me .i am not able to get over this.is it that he was just having fun with me and dint love me or is it something that he didnt like me but was just showing care as he thought why not have fun for 15 days.is this not cheating .please help me I am confused The bolded says it all. Basically, it wasn't cheating, not in the physical sense....Unless you had proof of him and your friend, enagaging one another. His actions, however, display that once he saw your friend, his "love" for you faded, and he fell in lust for her. Unfortunately, that means he never loved you. One simply does not fall out of love, so fast. Rather, one does not see someone attractive, and leave the person that they love, in order to be with that person(if they truly loved them). You deserve better; and what do you mean, by he had his fun and left? I suppose that could be true, if by what you mean by that, is what I believe you mean by that. 15 days to spend with you, something happened(obviously you know, I know)....he found himself not as in love with you, after your meeting, as he first thought. As his emotions betrayed him, and showed him, that he didn't love you, and could fall for your friend. Him ignoring you wasn't right. He should have been open and honest about this. Sometimes, it is like this, in an LDR, you think you love one another, and meet, than you do not. I would say it is emotional cheating, but...not sure of that one myself. There are two types of cheating: phyiscal, and emotional. I am sure many other posters will give you more advice, who have been there, and done that. Do not let it get you down. Be brave and strong. Realize that he didn't love you; things happened. He wasn't right to ignore you, and you do not need to pine over someone who would ignore you, and discard you for a friend of yours, or any woman. I am sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sabrina88 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Share Posted August 24, 2013 If he never loved me and dint like me when we were together what was that loving and caring attitude was it just that he was faking it all this time and then when we came back he didn't broke up with me but was calling me and trying to get information about that friend of mine and send me gift over valentine and birthday...and then he just broke up without any reason and when my friend (whom he proposed) asked her why he broke up as she was like when I met you guys ...you looked happy together..so to be in her good books he made an excuse that his parents dint want him to marry me that's why he ended all up...and at that very moment proposed...I am not able to understand ...what sort of guy he is??? D one who was loving caring n sensitive towards me ...or d one i am dealing with right now...whoz so insensitive and what hurts me the most is being with me those 15 days dint meant anything for him...he was just there to have fun(enjoy vacation) or as he met me he no longer finds me interesting dont know what's happening Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted August 24, 2013 Share Posted August 24, 2013 He's just not a genuine or sincere person. The fact that he went after your friend shows you just how much of an insensitive, selfish person he is. Why does your friend talk to him??? She doesn't sound like she's any kind of a friend to you either. She should be telling him to get lost and supporting you- not chatting with him and entertaining his "proposal". 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sabrina88 Posted August 24, 2013 Author Share Posted August 24, 2013 I don't know why she's still in touch with him ...as whenever I talk to her she tells me they didn't talk but when I asked her to delete him from her Facebook she dint did that and made an excuse that "I dint hate him and dint have any reason to delete him from her Facebook" also I told her that he is not the kind of person I thought he was then she was like "I don't know what's happening but I think he is telling me d truth and his feelings for me are genuine"...after this thing I haven't contacted my friend or boyfriend Link to post Share on other sites
emva07 Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 ditto to EVERYTHING Toddbt12y1 said. I think you already know your answer.....and we have all confirmed it for you. He has been attracted to her since the moment they met??? What more do you want to hear? Do you want to be with a man who goes around saying this to other women. If he does this with a friend of yours I don't even want to imagine what he says to girls you don't know. He will lose his interest in her too, don't take it personal. I don't think you should keep questioning what's happening, because you already know what's happening. You shouldn't wonder why it's happening, because it doesn't matter, it's not your fault. Just know that you don't deserve to be in a relationship where a guy doesn't' love you and is quick to dump you at the sight of another pretty face. This isn't a one time thing for him. This is who he is. Leave him and let this be a headache for another girl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 I don't know why she's still in touch with him ...as whenever I talk to her she tells me they didn't talk but when I asked her to delete him from her Facebook she dint did that and made an excuse that "I dint hate him and dint have any reason to delete him from her Facebook" also I told her that he is not the kind of person I thought he was then she was like "I don't know what's happening but I think he is telling me d truth and his feelings for me are genuine"...after this thing I haven't contacted my friend or boyfriend Well Sabrina, I for one have never been a proponent of LDR's because the work involved with making one work is daunting at best. You may feel very hurt right now and that is totally understandable. BUT what you have gained is a very valuable lesson at a pretty young age that people rarely ever come as advertised, especially in LDRs that are carried out mostly online. You would be best served by deleting both people from your life and moving on. I am sure it does not feel like that right now but as I have said to people here before, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them". What this guy showed you is that he was perfectly happy to carry on a relationship with you until the next girl came along. And what your friend showed you is that she really does not value your friendship at all.... Chin Up...you should date somebody in REAL LIFE!!!..someone you can touch, feel, look into their eyes on a regular basis....It seems a novel idea but people have done it before and some are pretty happy doing it! Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Computer Lothario This is the ultimate tag...and very appropriate...lol I like it so much I may reconsider renaming my band....its a great phrase! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sabrina88 Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 Thank you guys for providing me with your views but at this point of life m feeling cheated n betrayed...feels like I can't trust anybody and thinking that the guy who once use to care about me is now doing all those things for my friend...this very thought is killing me...I know whatever happened with me was the best...as I get to see his true colors on the very first meeting but I m unable to accept this reality Link to post Share on other sites
inamity Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 computer lethario Seconding that this is the best phrase I have heard all week. Also, OP, just drop the guy. Why not date someone in the same country as you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sabrina88 Posted November 22, 2013 Author Share Posted November 22, 2013 i just recently heard that my exBoyfriend and that friend of mine (whom my bf cheated me for) are getting married...i am so upset.please help me ...what should i do..i can't just bear this pain Link to post Share on other sites
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