Are a lot of women like this?

[mario_C]

Yes, please. Something other than muscle cars, motorcycles and sports.

Can you spell H-O-B-B-Y?

Most OLD profiles don't list any other than those top three occasionally.

sigh...

Those aren't hobbies?

I know what you mean, though. I've heard there's not a lot of readers, chefs, musicians, artists or travelers in those sites (men's side)...and there's only one of me to go around.

 

Obviously not, but in New York, it seems like these types of women are everywhere. Not in New York even, it just seems as if there's tons of women out there who have almost-unrealistic standards for guys while giving little in return.

 

I'm a NYer straphanger class, and I see a lot of awesome women in NYC every time I go down, every time I socialize or do business. It never gets old.

And I feel it's because dating is competitive in the city! You have to keep up and then stand out to survive in the city, let alone get a date. Doesn't matter if you're on Wall Street, Silicon Alley, trendy-ass Williamsburg or Harlem - doesn't matter if you're a hot kid out of college or middle-aged and looking for something real.

Therefore, most of that BS you read about in the other threads just doesn't fly here, unless you're running for mayor But you'll meet people who for some reason haven't polished their game, or they're awkward and desperate to show confidence and they look weird, or therapy isn't working, you know - people aren't perfect, and part of life is accepting and liking those people anyway.

Maybe that's one way to look at it?

 

True. Also---Nobody has yet even qualified for the motility Olympics however, if the shot put ejac is wasted on the hand.

I'd look up that word, but I bet I'd get really offended...

 

And on a more positive note...

Ugh "they".... So offensive

 

More women graduate from college now than men. That's just a fact . Why the offhanded comments toward women? Why not be supportive and thrilled that women can do awesome things? Do you really want to go back to a time where the norm is that women are in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant? Why?

 

Women should lower their standards? What? How about men raising the bar? Stop whining and do something interesting.

You are beautiful.

[fortyninethousand322]

Ugh "they".... So offensive

 

More women graduate from college now than men. That's just a fact . Why the offhanded comments toward women? Why not be supportive and thrilled that women can do awesome things? Do you really want to go back to a time where the norm is that women are in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant? Why?

 

Women should lower their standards? What? How about men raising the bar? Stop whining and do something interesting.

 

I don't know about "lowering standards" but if you're looking around and not seeing any men that you feel are on your level then you really have two choices: date men outside those preferences, or stay single. It's a choice.

 

I suppose you could just nag some of these men to finish school, or go back to school to get a better degree so that they can be professional white collar workers, but I don't think that's ideal for anyone.

 

Of course, there's also polygamy...

[tbf]

then you really have two choices: date men outside those preferences, or stay single. It's a choice.

Or better yet, quit whining and be patient.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yes, please. Something other than muscle cars, motorcycles and sports.

Can you spell H-O-B-B-Y?

Most OLD profiles don't list any other than those top three occasionally.

sigh...

 

Philosophy, foreign affairs, spontaneous order, the use of knowledge in society. Those are some of my interests.

 

Of course, I also like sports. Muscle cars only occasionally. But I'll gladly take an episode of EconTalk with me to listen to while I go for a run...

[fortyninethousand322]

Or better yet, quit whining and be patient.

 

I think that goes under the "stay single" category. Staying single wasn't meant as a permanent status in the scenario (though potentially could be).

 

I do think that when some of these professional women get a little older (say mid to late 30s) a lot of the more desirable men will be divorced and newly single. Which goes to your "be patient" advice.

[tbf]

I think that goes under the "stay single" category. Staying single wasn't meant as a permanent status in the scenario (though potentially could be).

 

I do think that when some of these professional women get a little older (say mid to late 30s) a lot of the more desirable men will be divorced and newly single. Which goes to your "be patient" advice.

All I know is that when single and not looking, it used to rain men.

[Revolver]

A lot of those women refuse to date men who aren't on "their level" from an economic or educational standpoint. The problem is the higher you go on the professional ladder the less guys you can find and even fewer your actually attracted to.

 

That's the main difference between those women and their male counterparts. A guy making 6 figures will easily date and even marry a woman who makes 35,000 with no problem. My uncle who is a doctor married my aunt who was a college dropout.... But would that happen if the genders were reversed? I don't think so....

[fortyninethousand322]

A lot of those women refuse to date men who aren't on "their level" from an economic or educational standpoint. The problem is the higher you go on the professional ladder the less guys you can find and even fewer your actually attracted to.

 

That's the main difference between those women and their male counterparts. A guy making 6 figures will easily date and even marry a woman who makes 35,000 with no problem. My uncle who is a doctor married my aunt who was a college dropout.... But would that happen if the genders were reversed? I don't think so....

 

That's an interesting question. I can't say that I've heard of a couple in which the woman was making substantially more than the man. But, I admit I have a pretty small sample size.

[Ryan R.]

A lot of those women refuse to date men who aren't on "their level" from an economic or educational standpoint. The problem is the higher you go on the professional ladder the less guys you can find and even fewer your actually attracted to.

 

That's the main difference between those women and their male counterparts. A guy making 6 figures will easily date and even marry a woman who makes 35,000 with no problem. My uncle who is a doctor married my aunt who was a college dropout.... But would that happen if the genders were reversed? I don't think so....

 

You're right. I would gladly be in a relationship with an marry a woman who made substantially less than I do as long as I was attracted to her and we shared the same values. I know a lot of women and I honestly can't say they'd do the same, which is fine. Everyone has the right to their own standards.

 

That's an interesting question. I can't say that I've heard of a couple in which the woman was making substantially more than the man. But, I admit I have a pretty small sample size.

 

I don't think the editor of a fashion magazine would be involved with a guy who is an IT helpdesk assistant. Then again, their lifestyles are completely different so maybe that's a bad example.

[Maleficent]

A lot of those women refuse to date men who aren't on "their level" from an economic or educational standpoint. The problem is the higher you go on the professional ladder the less guys you can find and even fewer your actually attracted to.

 

That's the main difference between those women and their male counterparts. A guy making 6 figures will easily date and even marry a woman who makes 35,000 with no problem. My uncle who is a doctor married my aunt who was a college dropout.... But would that happen if the genders were reversed? I don't think so....

 

That's because common 'standards are different in both sexes. Women look for money, stability and power in men while men are looking for beauty, reproductive ability and sexuality ( and I don't mean this in a bad way)

[tbf]

That's because common 'standards are different in both sexes. Women look for money, stability and power in men while men are looking for beauty, reproductive ability and sexuality ( and I don't mean this in a bad way)

Women look for men with high testosterone. Notice how women are more attracted to square jaws and protruding brows while they're ovulating? These are physical manifestations of high T.

[gaius]

I just wanted to ask, do a lot of women have these extremely high standards for guys (6 foot +, six figure salary by 30, nice car, white-collar job, list goes on)? I live in New York now, which is the city in the article and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm unmarried by the time I reach 40 if this is the case.

A lot of women just don't really want physical intimacy with another person so they'll make up bogus reasons why they're single. Which often include unrealistic standards. Generally a sexually healthy person will adapt to whatever options are available to them.

 

It's not like in those cheesy movies where the handsome explorer stumbles across the rural village where the hottest chick there is completely unattached and waiting just for him.

[Maleficent]

Women look for men with high testosterone. Notice how women are more attracted to square jaws and protruding brows while they're ovulating? These are physical manifestations of high T.

 

Exactly, and I'm sure women are more attractive to men when she is ovulating. Men = protector and provider

Woman = child bearer

 

We are biologically wired that way.

[ltjg45]

Taking care of a child however- is not "far less work" than working at a career. I've done both and been successful at both and i can say objectively--the mom gig is, by far, much more difficult.

 

In my opinion, I see kids who got way too much for the age they are in. For example, I saw a 2-year old with Nike shoes that, I'm sure, he will grow out of in a matter of a few months. This is how kids grow up to be entitled and spoiled adults, which doesn't do society not one bit of good.

 

So, while I do agree that raising a child is living hell for those who is unprepared and doable but painful for those who is prepared, I'm sure (at least financially) that it is a lot cheaper to raise a child than how most parents handle it.

[Betterthanthis13]

In my opinion, I see kids who got way too much for the age they are in. For example, I saw a 2-year old with Nike shoes that, I'm sure, he will grow out of in a matter of a few months. This is how kids grow up to be entitled and spoiled adults, which doesn't do society not one bit of good.

 

So, while I do agree that raising a child is living hell for those who is unprepared and doable but painful for those who is prepared, I'm sure (at least financially) that it is a lot cheaper to raise a child than how most parents handle it.

 

I am not disagreeing with anything you just said. However, "raising" a child is not equivalent to "providing" for a child.

 

Financial cost of keeping a child alive is what you are talking about. That has nothing to do with the actual work involved in raising a human being and preparing them to be an independent adult.

[Betterthanthis13]

White collar, good looking and fit mid to late 30 year old men don't have to date mid to late 30's women though. If you can get it why would you get the 2002 version of a car when you can get the 2013 model?

 

Because people are not cars. They are people.

 

If you want to purchase a woman- yes maybe you should purchase a younger one. Makes sense. They even have websites for that now. 100% legal. No need to be attractive, either. Sugardaddy, seeking arrangement, etc

 

If you want to have a relationship with a woman, it would benefit you not to refer to them like cars. We dislike that.

[ltjg45]

I am not disagreeing with anything you just said. However, "raising" a child is not equivalent to "providing" for a child.

 

Financial cost of keeping a child alive is what you are talking about. That has nothing to do with the actual work involved in raising a human being and preparing them to be an independent adult.

 

Considering that I'm "babysitting" my brothers and my mother along with the utter hell they bring to me daily, I doubt it will get any more difficult than this, at least for me.

 

I already put my needs and interests last and I never had a girlfriend. I'm sure, if I ever get a child, I will be far too prepared for the job.

 

Of course, that is just me.

 

I will say this though: When a parent incorrectly raises a child and the job all of the sudden becomes harder on her, it basically comes with the territory. Outside of some scenarios, raising a child correctly isn't that difficult. The worse of it should be the first 10 years of the child's life. If it doesn't get any easier for the parents after those first 10 years, more likely a parent did something wrong.

[Betterthanthis13]

Considering that I'm "babysitting" my brothers and my mother along with the utter hell they bring to me daily, I doubt it will get any more difficult than this, at least for me.

 

I already put my needs and interests last and I never had a girlfriend. I'm sure, if I ever get a child, I will be far too prepared for the job.

 

Of course, that is just me.

 

I will say this though: When a parent incorrectly raises a child and the job all of the sudden becomes harder on her, it basically comes with the territory. Outside of some scenarios, raising a child correctly isn't that difficult. The worse of it should be the first 10 years of the child's life. If it doesn't get any easier for the parents after those first 10 years, more likely a parent did something wrong.

I don't know your family situation but it sounds difficult and I'm sorry to hear about that.

Raising a child takes at least 18 years. The first 10 can be more time consuming but the hardest "work" is actually their teenage years. Go find a 15 year old and try to teach him or her to make good decisions, have a positive attitude, have self confidence, and think for themself- while the outside world around her is constantly giving her every reason not to. That's the hard work. Not diaper changing. Earning the respect of a teenager and keeping it is a monumental task for a parent

[Betterthanthis13]

Don't kid yourself, people are more like cars than you'd like to admit.

 

Nobody grow up dreaming of driving a second hand Kia, likewise nobody grows up dreaming of being with someone who is "good enough"

 

High achieving men are high achieving so they can avoid both.

 

The mistake many of these women make is believing that being a high achiever increases or at least compensates for certain flaws like it does with men.

 

Unfortunately for them, they're generally wrong.

 

Yes, I realize many people think like that. I feel sorry for them. The men and the women both. Anyone who's sense of self worth is that heavily tied into looks and money and status that they compare women in their 30's to used Kias and young women to new cars is pretty pathetic and emotionally stunted and definitely not someone I would like to associate with

[Woggle]

What self respecting man wants to be married to a woman like this anyway. Can't stand white collar people no matter what gender they are who have a superiority complex. It does not make you better than everybody because you have a fancy degree and work in an office.

[Woggle]

Really? I don't know any many white collar guys refusing to be friends/hangout with or date people less educated/in a blue collar field.

 

I used to work for the chamber of commerce. Plenty of them are major snobs.

[NXS]

From the article:

 

Romance hasn’t been entirely sidelined, but we don’t waste our time trying to cultivate a relationship unless someone is really amazing.

 

And:

 

For one, it’s not as if we are holding out for Jake Gyllenhaal, but we do have certain non-negotiable expectations for potential mates that include college degrees and white-collar jobs. Life has always gone according to our plans, so why wouldn’t we land a man with these (reasonable) requirements?

 

Seems to me that these are just another bunch of women with an entitlement attitude, somehow men are supposed to just turn up as marriage accessories when they say so, because they 'deserve' it. Probably the same guys they wouldn't give the time of day back when they were in their 20s and early 30s.

[Woggle]

Being successful and achieving are good things but they don't make for an awful personality. They just don't. I will fully support the dreams of any woman in my life but status just does not matter to me like that. If I can't stand day to day life with her it's simply a no go even if she were the president.

[tbf]

I don't see a problem with people wanting the traits or accomplishments they value, within a partner.

 

If someone values education and achievements and wants them in a partner, where they too can offer same, it's all good.

 

If men want partners who are educated and have achieved where they too can offer same, more power to them.

[StanMusial]

I don't know about "lowering standards" but if you're looking around and not seeing any men that you feel are on your level then you really have two choices: date men outside those preferences, or stay single. It's a choice.

 

I suppose you could just nag some of these men to finish school, or go back to school to get a better degree so that they can be professional white collar workers, but I don't think that's ideal for anyone.

 

Of course, there's also polygamy...

 

I've seen it happen.

 

A buddy of mine was dating a girl that literally took him to enroll in classes at a local college. He was a nice guy he just wasn't that motivated about making money (or anything except the latest game system). He was happy with what little he had. He was a good-looking guy though and had no problems pulling. This girl was really rich, her dad was the president of a major bank and she was used to the nicer things in life.

 

They broke up when he flunked out of school (he was 30 y/o at the time). He said she was crying when they broke it off. He was laughing though a few months later when he said "I ran into XXX and she's dating some pudgy bald dude."