Bf hiding what's on his phone..

[tme0]

I'm with my bf tonight. He's got this new friend (girl) on kik he talks to.

I saw a message she sent tonight ("yep I was thinking about you") or something like that. I couldn't click on it to read because the app stopped responding. It's been doing that lately. I just saw the first bit in the notification window. He replied ay some point and she sent another message and all I could see was "hahaha you always say that"

Now, he grabs my phone at will and reads mesages and asks who everyone is, especially guys. He did that todsy when he saw unfamiliar faces in my kik.

 

But here's the thing...I walked to him twice (to see what he'd do) when he had their convo open and he quickly exited out before I got there. Normally when he's texting and I walk over he continues what he's doing.

 

Is that weird..? I plan on asking who she is. Especially since he asks who everyone in my phone is. I just wish the app would work so I could see. I'm normally strongly against snooping but this makes me feel weird. And he's also said he doesn't care if I read his messages. But idk if he said that because he knows I don't. ..

[MrCastle]

Permission to snoop granted.

[tme0]

I asked him. He made a face like dIdn't know who I was talking about until I said it was the gIrl from kik. Then he said, kik doesn't work.. ( I know I saw him replying on there. It doesn't work but he did something that allowed him to reply. Then he said she's a girl he met on line and she messages him still once in a while. He said he thinks it's weIrd she messages him. .. To me it seems like more than a once in a while thing though.

Then he asked if it bothered me that they talk. I said no as long as there isn't anything in there that should bother me. I then asked if it bothered him that i talk to those guys and he said no just he wishes he could see what was in the messages. Well, likewise lol

[tme0]

You dont need to snoop, just install a free sms manager app on his phone and have it send copies of his texts to your email address. That way you dont need to act like your snooping and he can hang himself.

 

I have done this to a couple of ex girlfriends and when I dump them I always print off copies of their emails and hand it to them when they ask why this is happening.

 

100% of them disregard the fact they were cheating and try to act like what I did was worse but I rarely stick around for that part.

 

It's not on his texts it's on a messaging app called kik. And if i installed that he'd notice right away.

[sweetkiwi]

The guy's a snake and he's disrespecting you right in front of your face. You're being so completely passive about how obnoxious he's acting with his new 'friend' that you're going to get steamrolled.

Completely agree. OP isn't this the guy who has been asking excessively for you to swallow? That in and of itself isn't bad. But coupled with this selfish and jealous behavior I'd be seeing red flags if I were you.

 

Can you say he respects you? Loves you? Really loves you, not only when it's convenient.

 

The way that girl is talking to him is fishy. Unless of course it's fine in your relationship to flirt with others. But that's what's going on. And some would consider that emotional cheating. Especially since he's hiding it and playing it off like it's no big deal. Watch out.

[Treasa]

Well, I'd certainly change the pin code on your phone and stop sharing it as well!

 

This, and stop making yourself so available. He doesn't sound like a good match. Take some time and some distance from him to really think over this relationship.

[tme0]

I looked just now. .. He told her he's going camping and she did she's jealous. He said "not really. I'd rather be in bed running my hands all over your body"

 

..... I'm losing it atm.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I looked just now. .. He told her he's going camping and she did she's jealous. He said "not really. I'd rather be in bed running my hands all over your body"

 

..... I'm losing it atm.

 

And he said?

 

You need to kick him to the curb now.

[Real36]

Oh man, please dump him. A similar thing has happened to me twice. I will never trust a man who hides his phone but snoops on mine ever again. My ex even checked my FB and emails. He thought I didn't know but I did, he always forgot to turn the volume back on when he was done snooping. Once he mistakenly took a screen shot of him turning the volume off while snooping. He accidentally friend requested a male highschool classmate of his on my FB. You should have seen his face when I showed him and was like "how did this happen?". There was nothing for him to find because I never did anything sketchy. I got a hold of his phone one time and that was the end of our relationship!

[tme0]

And he said?

 

You need to kick him to the curb now.

 

He started talking about how I don't seem as sexually interested in him anymore. Umm...?

[Jbum5]

You should also be aware that KiK is an anonymous messenger (not linked to a personal phone number) heavily used by perverts looking for some cyber fun. Best you check on this simpleton's integrity.

 

To substantiate the above claim just take a look at the comments generated by the app in the Google Playstore: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=kik.android&hl=en.

Edited August 24, 2013 by Jbum5

[crederer]

Partners being over protective of their phone or computer is almost always because something sketchy is going on.

 

People that get all worked up over privacy are hiding something. Privacy is important to a degree but if sketchy stuff is going on, snoop away. I don't think people in a relationship should really hide anything.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

He started talking about how I don't seem as sexually interested in him anymore. Umm...?

 

That sounds like setting up an excuse...did you confront?

[tme0]

That sounds like setting up an excuse...did you confront?

 

Of course. I mean...I even got new lingerie last night. I sent him sexy pics and talked about how I was so excited to do Xyz. So, no I've not been sexually against anything.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Of course. I mean...I even got new lingerie last night. I sent him sexy pics and talked about how I was so excited to do Xyz. So, no I've not been sexually against anything.

 

Give more info...what did he say when you confronted seeing the message?

[freestyle]

OP-please think long, and hard.........

 

Are duplicity, and double standards what you really want in a relationship?

[tme0]

Give more info...what did he say when you confronted seeing the message?

 

Silence for about two minutes. Then he said what I said, that he feels like I'm not attracted sexually to him lately. And he gave examples. Like how a little prior we were looking at pics on tumblr. Sexy pics. Mainly of girls. He asked if I liked the pucs and I said not really. I don't like looking at sex pics. Doesn't mean I don't like sex. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Porn too. He said I've not initiated sexy texts with him recently. I have. I got my phone out and showed all the Recent sexy texts I've sent him. Eventually I was like, why are we discussing this right now...it's a topic for another conversation. He said it was relevant. I've yet to figure out how. He said she gets off that way. That there's no one else and that's the out there their convo has gone. It's not his job to be getting other girls off. I know he likes srx and talking about it. Ok. Fine. But there's a line you dont cross..

 

A couple weeks ago we had another of these when I found a text to a woman 20+ years older whom he asked for a pic of her plessuring herself. (She refused but that's beside the point) that turned into being about things I don't do to for some reason...

You know as much as has happened now.

I just want to know how to articulate it so he sees it from my eyes. That it's wrong. That you don't do that.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Silence for about two minutes. Then he said what I said, that he feels like I'm not attracted sexually to him lately. And he gave examples. Like how a little prior we were looking at pics on tumblr. Sexy pics. Mainly of girls. He asked if I liked the pucs and I said not really. I don't like looking at sex pics. Doesn't mean I don't like sex. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Porn too. He said I've not initiated sexy texts with him recently. I have. I got my phone out and showed all the Recent sexy texts I've sent him. Eventually I was like, why are we discussing this right now...it's a topic for another conversation. He said it was relevant. I've yet to figure out how. He said she gets off that way. That there's no one else and that's the out there their convo has gone. It's not his job to be getting other girls off. I know he likes srx and talking about it. Ok. Fine. But there's a line you dont cross..

 

A couple weeks ago we had another of these when I found a text to a woman 20+ years older whom he asked for a pic of her plessuring herself. (She refused but that's beside the point) that turned into being about things I don't do to for some reason...

You know as much as has happened now.

I just want to know how to articulate it so he sees it from my eyes. That it's wrong. That you don't do that.

 

Ok

 

He's cheating. (Full stop)

 

You must decide what action to take.

 

1. Accept as is knowing this is as good as it gets. Him texting strangers sexual content. Hiding it from you and lying.

2. Break up.

 

Why just two? Cause he doesn't even feel bad. His morals say this is a fine and dandy thing to do.

 

Are you just stewing or have you told him to GTFO?

[It-is-what-it-is.]

I just want to know how to articulate it so he sees it from my eyes. That it's wrong. That you don't do that.

 

Download one or three of those chat programs.

 

Start sexting with several guys...in front of him, lie about it, badly.

 

Tell him it's cause he is ignoring you by sexting with other women.

 

Rinse, repeat.

 

Sorry, in a bad mood and this pisses me off for you. You are not married to him. Dump his axx.

 

Seriously.

[bentleychic]

Download one or three of those chat programs.

 

Start sexting with several guys...in front of him, lie about it, badly.

 

Tell him it's cause he is ignoring you by sexting with other women.

 

Rinse, repeat.

 

Sorry, in a bad mood and this pisses me off for you. You are not married to him. Dump his axx.

 

Seriously.

 

No. Don't do this. Don't waste your time. Dump his butt. Better yet, dump him on his *expletive* head.

 

That convo you had with him is classic putting the reason off on you and avoiding the real issue/conversation so he doesn't have to answer your questions.

[tme0]

Ok

 

He's cheating. (Full stop)

 

You must decide what action to take.

 

1. Accept as is knowing this is as good as it gets. Him texting strangers sexual content. Hiding it from you and lying.

2. Break up.

 

Why just two? Cause he doesn't even feel bad. His morals say this is a fine and dandy thing to do.

 

Are you just stewing or have you told him to GTFO?

 

He asked me how I'd feel about him having two girlfriends. No. He's said before he likes and wants monogamy. Wants to get married and have a family. Now he's saying he doesn't know if monogamy will make him happy. I do everything for him. He doesnt need anyone else.. I cook and clean his house. He's not laid a finger in probably 9months. And sex. Someone to talk to whenever and help him. I go out of my way to do things for him.

 

Just what makes me feel even worse is two months ago he asked me hypothetically if he asked me to marry him the next day, what would i say. I said yes. I feel stupid. Thinking about marriage when it's nowhere near on his mind.

[tme0]

Download one or three of those chat programs.

 

Start sexting with several guys...in front of him, lie about it, badly.

 

Tell him it's cause he is ignoring you by sexting with other women.

 

Rinse, repeat.

 

Sorry, in a bad mood and this pisses me off for you. You are not married to him. Dump his axx.

 

Seriously.

 

Yeah. I am texting a couple guys and one has gotten a little too cozy. So what'd I do? Said I had a boyfriend and we're not talking anymore.

[bentleychic]

He asked me how I'd feel about him having two girlfriends. No. He's said before he likes and wants monogamy. Wants to get married and have a family. Now he's saying he doesn't know if monogamy will make him happy.

 

He's prepping you to ask for an open relationship. He wants both of you (and maybe more). Monogamy was fine until he found someone else that he wanted to screw. I bet he still wouldn't want YOU screwing around.

 

Walk away now. Please. I promise you will regret it sooner rather than later if you do not.

[It-is-what-it-is.]

Yeah. I am texting a couple guys and one has gotten a little too cozy. So what'd I do? Said I had a boyfriend and we're not talking anymore.

 

I was being facetious, this is incredibly passive aggressive. You get him to see your point by leaving him.

 

There really is no hope if you allow this.

 

You live in his house or him in yours? You really should pack somebody's bags.

 

Realizing he will lose you make wake him up, but likely not.

[tme0]

I was being facetious, this is incredibly passive aggressive. You get him to see your point by leaving him.

 

There really is no hope if you allow this.

 

You live in his house or him in yours? You really should pack somebody's bags.

 

Realizing he will lose you make wake him up, but likely not.

 

Ah. Ok. Well I'm talking to them as friends since before this anyways. Not because of it. We don't live together but I stay at his house a lot.

It's hard because we're supposed celebrating my birthday in a few days. And my best friend won't hardly talk to me for whatever reason so it's just kinda like, ehh.... :/