You think you look terrible, but he is checking you out

[MrTurk]

Why is it romantic and lovey-dovey when your SO likes you at your worst(no makeup, hair a mess, unflattering clothes)

 

But when a guy sees a random woman at the store with no makeup, hair under a cap, clothes just thrown on....and he tries to talk to her...she wants nothing to do with him??

 

I've heard this scenario time and time again. Why do so many women feel mortified when a guy is checking them out, or tries to talk to them when they are not all gussied up??

 

Why dont these women feel elated.....that a guy likes them without being all done up??

[MrTurk]

Because, in a bit of information that should surprise no-one, women have insecurities too, and some women don't feel confident in their appearance if they've not done their hair and put a bit of make-up on.

 

 

Yes....we know insecurities are behind it. But those same women will twist it into something positive when its their boyfriend or husband....

 

but if she is single, and its just some random guy at the store or gym...many women are repulsed that anyone would even look at them in such a state of disarray

 

Why the double standard?

[MrTurk]

 

Frankly I doubt the verascity of the assertion that women are 'repulsed' by it. They might feel a bit shy or embarrassed though, for their own sake, but hardly feel repulsion towards the guy.

 

 

I have heard it directly from their mouths. I've heard many women tell stories or when it comes up in conversation. They feel in their mind they are unattractive and unworthy at that moment....so they cant fathom why any man would want to look at them.

 

As I said before...why arent women happy that a guy likes them at that moment? Why do they let it knock down their self esteem, rather than build it up?

 

.

[PlumPrincess]

You mean to tell me women think some of the things SO's do are cute yet feel when strangers do it it's creepy or a nuisance? I'm just shocked. SHOCKED I tell you!

:laugh:

[KungFuJoe]

This has been explained Turk. I'm not sure if you're not accepting the explanation because it doesn't match up with your preconceived notions, or whether you're just not reading clearly, but this has been explained.

 

Pretty much what you just said. It seems op isn't looking for opinions...he's just looking for people to agree with him and join in on his pity party.

[xxoo]

I have heard it directly from their mouths. I've heard many women tell stories or when it comes up in conversation. They feel in their mind they are unattractive and unworthy at that moment....so they cant fathom why any man would want to look at them.

 

As I said before...why arent women happy that a guy likes them at that moment? Why do they let it knock down their self esteem, rather than build it up?

 

.

 

There is a good chance that they didn't open up and express to you that it makes them feel embarrassed and insecure, because that is one of those vulnerability things. Women aren't going to share their heartfelt feelings and motivations with just anyone, especially when it involves uncomfortable feelings about herself.

[MrTurk]

I think you're misunderstanding.

 

It's not themselves they're uncomfortable or repulsed by; its the creep approaching them at the store when they just want to do their food shopping or the creep approaching them at the gym when they just want to work out - that's what they're repulsed by.

 

I think you are wrong.

 

They've said "Why would anyone want to talk to me when I look this bad?"

 

or

 

"Why would a guy be looking at me when I'm all sweaty...thats nasty"

 

To all the LS women on here.....the world doesnt revolve around YOUR specific mindset/opinion/feelings. Theres other women out there that think differently than you.

 

 

.

[Betterthanthis13]

I think you are wrong.

 

They've said "Why would anyone want to talk to me when I look this bad?"

sounds like insecurity

or

 

"Why would a guy be looking at me when I'm all sweaty...thats nasty"

 

sounds like she's questioning/judging his selection process. Does he just hit on any girl no matter what state of dissaray she is in? I'm not looking so great at the moment. Does this guy have any standards? If I did go out with him, can I expect him to be hitting on every girl that walks in his eyesight? What's wrong with this guy?

 

Could also just be plain old insecurity again though.

 

To all the LS women on here.....the world doesnt revolve around YOUR specific mindset/opinion/feelings. Theres other women out there that think differently than you.

 

 

.

 

See answers in bold above.^^^

 

That last sentence of yours was rude. I didnt really understand what you were asking in the OP. the specific examples helped clarify your question. I still may not have gotten the answer right- im just answering based on how i interpret your question.

 

Also, I don't think I've ever experienced feeling that way about a guy hitting on me. But it has been annoying at times (even though i try to be polite) when I get hit on all day and I'm just trying to pump gas, get groceries, etc as another poster suggested.

 

Phrasing questions like "why do women do xyz?" can make people irritated because its like you are trying to negatively stereotype women, and if the women reading your question dont personally display the behavior you are asking the question about it can feel very offensive.

 

For example---if I asked a question, "why do men always cheat with girls who are uglier than their girlfriend?" i would expevt you to feel offended and annoyed at me and my question for several reasons:

 

All men don't cheat- that was an objectively wrong assumption on my part in my question

 

Sometimes men who do cheat do it with women who are more attractive than their gf- wrong assumption on my part again

 

Women sometimes cheat too- it's offensive that I am gender stereotyping in my question

 

And if you have never cheated, you would possibly feel attacked and accused of things you dont do. Even if you had cheated in the past, you wouldn't want me asking this question because I am making unfair generalizations.

 

Then when I don't get the answers I want from my poorly phrased, insulting question- should I attack the posters who were nice enough to try to respond and point out the errors in my question? Probably not.