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unrequited love


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I love this guy deeply. He says he does have feelings for me but is not ready to get into a relationship for now. We hang out often and keep in touch every day. Some weeks back he went clubbing and kissed two girls out there. It hurt me badly and i decided to get over my love for him as it was quite clear he doesn’t love me the way i do. I was starting to get better and I kept a friendly relationship with him. I tried not to bother much and just let things happen. Yesterday he found out i was having a talk with my ex (friendly talk) and he got jealous and told me i made fun of him etc. He told me he has feelings for me. I was like wtf he was the one having fun with other girls at first. I do not quite understand what’s happening. He seems hurt now and stopped replying my messages.

I still love him and want him bad. Can someone please explain to me what is he doing and what should i do?

I was and still am going through a difficult phase (depression-trying to cope with some loneliness) and i do not want to get hurt again. But i do love him badly and funnily this hurts me as it seems one-sided.

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Onward_Upward

From what you have written, it appears to be one-sided indeed.

 

My advice is simply to talk with him openly and honestly about your feelings... But you must be careful. Whilst it is only natural that he would have genuine feelings for you (you seem to interact a lot), his actions thus far (i.e. kissing other girls AFTER you made your feelings known), indicate that he does not love you "exclusively"... at least not yet, anyway.

 

Sit down with him, face to face, and speak about the issues... Just be careful not to get carried away in the emotion of it all... He may, on the spur of the moment, take advantage of you sexually, only to tell you later on that he really doesn't "love" you, afterall ;)

 

Some men have an unfortunate way of confusing lust with love... And if he gets horny as hell, whilst talking with you, he will NOT be thinking clearly.

 

If the talk turns out well, then my advice is to take things s.l.o.w.l.y... And if he declares his love for you, then give things a couple of weeks (or longer!) before you embark on a sexual relationship...

 

At least then you'll have a better chance of knowing whether he's sincere or not.

 

As for him getting jealous, or upset at you... then you need to call him out on that. Ask him why, if he loves you so, did he kiss those two girls... Check his response, and move from there.

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