online drama

[vesper21]

I have this online community of 'friends' in the indie creative fields. One charismatic guy friend, I also added him on a 'friends only' blog I kept. The blog is mostly the mundane, however years earlier was a bonafide tell-all. To my horror he occassionally 'subtweets' my confidential info & also was in committed relationship so after some open online talk, he toned his randy behavior down. For a while it went smoothly, I got to know his friends, sig others and added them on and so on.

 

Problem: An influential creative woman online suddenly seemed to take an amorous turn w/ my friend and I got jealous. It was getting rauchy via call/response messages. When she saw my connection w/him she got really snarky re: me via sub-tweets. Suddenly I am a dreg bc I'm single & they are not (their sig other have lightly protested but to no large extent & are supported). Without provocation, that made me the 'acceptable target' for being "the wasps nest", "not a free thinker", the undesirable. Now I felt provoked, and really dunno hurt but without defense. While I try to tone his randyness down, he did jump on every post I did ( a post of an atelier nude is 'sexual' but for me only, not when his other friends post theirs etc.....and this other woman feeds off that hypersexualized energy in a way I felt uncomfortable.) Even if I try to be honest "these subtweets are hurting me" it comes off as being manipulative vs honest and they start passing the private message around ridiculing it.

 

I am not as socially savvy online and I really wanted an online social circle of artists. Perhaps I got too invested in this one guys attention, it was so intense for a couple years. Maybe this is rough play, but it feels like a kind a scapegoating bc these two have the self interest to keep flirting. After 3 years of a friendship that brought good interaction, it feels like I've been "sold out". Why I'm not allowed confused feelings. (BTW, that dm was passed around & she made fun of me)

 

What's happening?