Loneliness kicks in from time to time..

[InsaneTrombone]

About 5 months ago, my girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up. Throughout the course of that relationship, her friends became my friends and I eventually lost touch with just about all of my old crowd. When we broke up, that same thing happened with the new crowd.

 

I'm a college student, still living at home with my parents. I have way more online friends than I do in real life. I do not go out to parties or clubs. I don't prefer to drink alcohol. I am a big gamer. I am an introvert. Shy at first but I do open up as I get to know someone. When I go to school, I seem to just show up, get business done, and leave. Classmates I rarely speak to, and the few I do occasionally see, are just acquaintances, not really 'hey lets hangout later' buddies.

 

I resorted to online dating, looking for someone I could connect with. Found someone who I had a LOT in common with, went on multiple dates (I was surprised I wasn't shy, perhaps because I knew it was a little weird at first for both of us). Looking back at it, I think I smothered her and came off very clingy within the first month or two of knowing her (I was excited at the prospect of a new friend, a hot girl, and just over-excited / anxious). Possibly due to this, shes become much more distant. We're still in touch but we don't talk much anymore, just casual funny random texts once every week or two or how have you been lately kind of stuff. We haven't been on a date / seen eachother since early July. I didn't burn the bridge because who knows what may happen down the road, but I'm not exactly sure what to make of it.

 

Other than that one experience, which I now consider pretty lucky, online dating has been a large waste of my time. Sending out hundreds of messages, hearing back, talking, a date never materializes or they stop responding.

 

I'm 23, 5'7", 200lbs, perhaps slightly above average looking at this current weight. I should really drop 30 pounds but just can't keep at it. When I was going on dates with this girl, I was very motivated to look my best, I was working out, being very good with what I ate. Now I'm back to my old crappy ways.

 

I have no reliable real life friends. My family is all I have at the moment. I go to work, I come home, I play videogames / hop on the computer. Rinse and repeat. Add in school and homework when the fall arrives. I've tried briefly looking at those meetup websites but never find anything of interest to me.

 

There was recently an old friend that popped back into my life that I hadn't seen in a few years. She is cool, friendly, and enjoys talking to me. And yet for some reason I can't understand, I'm having trouble taking this opportunity.

 

I feel like I have no one to talk to about how I feel. At times, I'm very content with my life. I'm an only child and I definitely DO enjoy 'me' time, I'm used to it actually. Others, like now, I'm extremely frustrated and lonely. I want to meet new people, make new friends. Part of me wants nothing more than to make a facebook account (I never used FB) and add a few of my old friends I haven't spoken to in 4 years, but am embarrassed they'd see me with less than 5 friends on FB and judge me. I don't think I'm depressed, just lonely. I'm not sure what kind of response I was expecting by writing this out but any advice or thoughts are appreciated.

Edited August 25, 2013 by InsaneTrombone