am i going crazy or just really stressed,

[cami sorry this is kinda long]

i'm so sorry for how long this may get but please help me. i am in my fourtys and have been on section 8 for about five years now until recently.

 

my ex husband turned me in because my boyfriend was living with me. so fine now i don't have section 8 but my boyfriend has picked up all the slack for rent and bills that i cannot handle.

 

i work and am self-employed and business has been so slow since before xmas. my daughter started school today and will be going for only one semester but i wll be watching her three month old and taking him to work with me.

 

some evenings she will go straight to work from school until at least ten. which means i will be watching my grandson from about 11:30 till 10:30.

 

my boyfriend is very understanding about all this but his concern is how am i going to work and watch him? good point but i'll have to manage some how since i wanted to help out my daughter as she does not have anyone to help her not even the county cause she makes more then $300.00 a month, not much more tho.

 

also we recently moved to a bigger house since i didn't have section 8 anymore we could move anywhere cause alot of places wont take section 8.

 

we moved into this double bungalow and it is expensive and very nice to live in such a big place. my boyfriend has been buying some furniture,i.e. an entertainment, washer, dryer, computer desk, etc.

 

i have not been able to contribute to anything and feel like crap especially if i give him a hard time about his long work hours. i try not to especially now since he is towing the whole thing, well a majority of it anyway.

 

at times i feel so stressed out from it all that i want to just pack up and get away from the responsibility and the guilt as well.

 

i haven't slept in days and i don't know why but i do know that i'm starting to get delusional from lack of sleep, you know how your eyes play tricks on you when your tired? well mine have been doing that alot lately and i'll see something that isn't there like a spot on the wall or something, and that really is scaring me and making me feel crazy

 

i have all this crap to deal with and on top of all that i don't even have a car anymore so i am house bound unless someone lets me use their car or takes me somewhere which is making me feel agoraphobic and then delusional when i go out and on and on and on.

 

what is wrong with me, am i going crazy? how can i tell? any adivice? i'm so tired of feeling this way.

[Tony T]

You just need to relax and put things into perspective. Right now, you are going through a rough time. But if you will calm down, you'll be able to figure out ways of simplifying your life.

 

Also, stop trying so hard to make yourself feel bad. Nobody can do that but you. Contribute what you can, do your best at you responsiblities and hold your head high.

 

There is life after Section 8...and, besides, George W. will probably cancel the program anyway.

[Deejette]

You are doing a lot of self-sacrifice for your daughter and that is very kind and loving of you, but you are putting your own life on hold for her sake. I know that mothers care endlessly for their children, but she needs to find some other day-care options so you can be free to work, get out, and spend quality time with your boyfriend.

You just need to relax and put things into perspective. Right now, you are going through a rough time. But if you will calm down, you'll be able to figure out ways of simplifying your life. Also, stop trying so hard to make yourself feel bad. Nobody can do that but you. Contribute what you can, do your best at you responsiblities and hold your head high. There is life after Section 8...and, besides, George W. will probably cancel the program anyway.