Isla666blue Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We run a business together (he owns and I manage), he is also 13 years my senior (divorced no children). We met shortly after his divorce and after I had ended a turbulent relationship. We were both eager to be in an easy fun relationship, which quickly developed into something more serious. He owns a condo where he lived with his ex-wife. The condo was in need of desperate repairs and a certain side of me wanted us to start afresh in our own place. With the state of the housing market it was more viable to renovate and sell at a future date. Needless to say the move in date was put on hold and he lived at my apartment while paying mortgage on condo. This spring i found out that I was pregnant but shortly after miscarried. After this he started the renovation project and got it done without me asking too much. Now i am here and now i wonder what is next? i should be relieved but all that i feel is uncertainty. It took so long to get here and he never brings up marriage or children. I know that I want a family and i would love to have that with my boyfriend as my husband (life partner). If he were younger i wouldn't be as worried about timing. I feel like the renovation was a big step forward. He knows what I want, I have told him from the beginning. I do not want to give him an ultimatum, I prefer this to be natural and of his own accord. I am the s**t, a patient and supportive partner...but how long is too long to wait? Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 You say he knows what you want. But do you know what he wants? Sounds like you need to ask him. Talk! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Ask him if he sees you two getting married and having children someday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 Start being a driver of your life and don't wait for him to tell you that he is ready to get married. I get the sense from your post that you guys haven't even talked about this topic in any depth. Poop or get off the pot woman! Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 I find it worrisome that you have not even broached this topic with your man. Why haven't you talked about this with him? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 You say he knows what you want. But do you know what he wants? Sounds like you need to ask him. Talk! I agree. You don't need to give him an ultimatum, it's not an ultimatum to simply have a talk about the future of your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted August 25, 2013 Share Posted August 25, 2013 What you need to do is talk to him. Ask him if he sees himself marrying you someday. If he gives you a yes and a clear timeline, great. If not, tell him this is what you want, wait another few months and if nothing changes talk to him again and get out and find someone who wants to marry you. I know it's not as easy done as it is said, but don't waste your life with someone who can't/won't give you what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
honeycomb Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Communication is key! I was with my now-fiance for four and a half years before he popped the question. I was ready for marriage long before he was, and I voiced my concerns whenever I felt the urge to. I never issued an ultimatum, and the discussions we had were intelligent and I always felt better after having them. Talk to your man. He isn't a mind-reader. Link to post Share on other sites
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