Young people and dating another ethnicity?

[Stefanie]

I'm just trying to start some discussion here.

 

As a young Asian woman, I've mainly been attracted to Caucasian men. Now, I've flipped both sides of the coin and I've even dated a 'halfie'. However, my luck finding an Caucasian man my age who is interested in being in a serious relationship is pretty rare. I have a feeling the attitude to interracial dating is still not as positive as I'd hoped.

 

Everyone I know (including my family) sees me marrying a Caucasian guy rather than an Asian. Of course, it's too early for me to be thinking about such things, but I'm surprised that I'm not finding as many 'potentials' as I'd hoped. I'm an active girl and I'm always meeting new people around university but I don't think anyone ever sees me as more than a friend.

 

So, young people (especially in the early 20s), what are your attitudes towards dating a person of another culture?

[theonlyjuan]

Never thought about it, people are people. If I find any woman attractive and nice I would date them

[counterman]

I'm the same with theonlyjuan. I don't really think about ethnicity. If I find a woman attractive and we are compatible then I would date her. I am open to dating women from any culture and don't decide who I date based on culture.

 

However, I know there are people that have preferences. I have Asian female friends who are into Caucasian males as well, but most of them haven't had any luck with them. I also know of many Asian females who are strongly against dating Asian males, which I find really strange. Needless to say, these girls don't have much luck at all in dating.

 

With regards to my Caucasian male friends, they laugh at how they get away with so much when it comes to Asian girls. Most of them find it really strange that Asian girls just want them. Most of them don't date Asian girls seriously and prefer Caucasian girls.

 

Why do you prefer Caucasian men over men of other races? I personally don't care about race.

[fortyninethousand322]

I'm just trying to start some discussion here.

 

As a young Asian woman, I've mainly been attracted to Caucasian men. Now, I've flipped both sides of the coin and I've even dated a 'halfie'. However, my luck finding an Caucasian man my age who is interested in being in a serious relationship is pretty rare. I have a feeling the attitude to interracial dating is still not as positive as I'd hoped.

 

Everyone I know (including my family) sees me marrying a Caucasian guy rather than an Asian. Of course, it's too early for me to be thinking about such things, but I'm surprised that I'm not finding as many 'potentials' as I'd hoped. I'm an active girl and I'm always meeting new people around university but I don't think anyone ever sees me as more than a friend.

 

So, young people (especially in the early 20s), what are your attitudes towards dating a person of another culture?

 

I'm fine with it. In fact I'm rarely attracted to white women (and I'm a white guy myself). I've been attracted to all kinds of women, just very rarely white women.

[StanMusial]

What is a "halfie"? Half-breed?

[Stefanie]

What is a "halfie"? Half-breed?

 

Well that's not the most politically-correct way of putting it, but yes. He was half Thai and half Aussie.

 

 

It's not a 'preference' per say. I don't actively seek Caucasian males out over Asian males. Living in Australia though, my options are less limited and I find myself more attracted to the 'Aussie' mindset. Generally speaking, most Asian guys have qualities that I personally am not attracted to and that's not only physically. It's not a choice I made; it just turned out that way.

 

But it frustrates me that the people I am attracted to aren't attracted back because they choose to limit themselves to their own ethnicity or have a pre-conceived idea of my personality. I find people older than my generation have lived long enough to open their minds to it but the younger generation isn't.

[Woggle]

I would never have an issue dating anybody of other ethnicity but I would be very turned off by somebody who rejects members of their own culture. If a woman or man does not like the opposite sex of their own heritage that usually shows some deeper issues.

[StanMusial]

Well that's not the most politically-correct way of putting it, but yes. He was half Thai and half Aussie.

 

 

It's not a 'preference' per say. I don't actively seek Caucasian males out over Asian males. Living in Australia though, my options are less limited and I find myself more attracted to the 'Aussie' mindset. Generally speaking, most Asian guys have qualities that I personally am not attracted to and that's not only physically. It's not a choice I made; it just turned out that way.

 

But it frustrates me that the people I am attracted to aren't attracted back because they choose to limit themselves to their own ethnicity or have a pre-conceived idea of my personality. I find people older than my generation have lived long enough to open their minds to it but the younger generation isn't.

 

LOL. Is halfie much better?

 

I'm late 30's and I don't really see any of my peers in a multi-ethnic relationship. If anything I'd say the younger generation would be more open to it, not the older generation. I see plenty of non-white girls that I think are attractive but honestly ever since I got serious about settling down I'm drawn more to people I think have a similar background and heritage.

[fortyninethousand322]

I would never have an issue dating anybody of other ethnicity but I would be very turned off by somebody who rejects members of their own culture. If a woman or man does not like the opposite sex of their own heritage that usually shows some deeper issues.

 

I don't know, it depends. If it's purely for aesthetic reasons, you know like you're just not attracted to certain looks, I don't see the issue.

 

If, on the other hand, it's because you have a lot of negative opinions about people from your own culture/ethnicity (i.e stereotypes) then yeah that's a problem.

[Stefanie]

If a woman or man does not like the opposite sex of their own heritage that usually shows some deeper issues.

 

I agree. I once saw a video on YouTube where an Asian woman referred to dating an Asian man as feeling like: "dating [her] own brother". I find that absurd. One of my previous partners was said to look a lot like me (not sure if the person was just being insulting), but I took it in my stride and moved on later because he had maturity issues.

 

We can't help who we're attracted to, physically or emotionally. I think a lot of the time it just comes down to the idea that 'opposites attract'.

[Stefanie]

LOL. Is halfie much better?

 

Perhaps it's only an Aussie thing. We have too much slang. Here, we say halfie and it's automatically assumed a compliment because it's known that most bi-racial people are very attractive.

[Mrlonelyone]

I don't know where you live but the truth is that interracial dating is a fetish for some people. They want to date a member of a certain race because it's exotic. This is no worse than liking someone for their broad shoulders or wide hips.

 

 

The trick is finding someone who will stick around once the chemical high of getting with a new exotic person of another race wears off.... and the judgement of society kicks in.

 

 

 

 

Younger people are some of the most judgemental when it comes to who should date who / when / where.

 

 

My earnest advice is that you should consider looking for an older man perhaps one with a history of dating interracially. Such a man is comfortable with who he is and what he likes. Such a man will have a social circle that accepts him and knows his preference for Asian women and accepts or approves of it.

 

 

When you date a younger person interracially there is always the fact that you will be part of a coupling which other young people will say not nice things about. Most younger people are not able to cope with that.

 

 

 

 

Remember this controversy? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/31/cheerios-commercial-racist-backlash_n_3363507.html

Edited August 25, 2013 by Mrlonelyone

[Stefanie]

I don't know where you live but the truth is that interracial dating is a fetish for some people. They want to date a member of a certain race because it's exotic.

 

This is probably one of my greatest fears. I always have to wonder if someone likes me for the real me and it drives me nuts. It feels like I have to do more work to find someone genuinely interested. Living in Australia, it's not as big an issue, but I still despise the mindset.

 

And I do think you're right about my generation. We are extremely judgmental and so set in our ways. I see many refuse to change their attitudes or accept that someone chose to be different. I have considered dating someone older, but I'm rarely given a chance with them either.

[StanMusial]

This is probably one of my greatest fears. I always have to wonder if someone likes me for the real me and it drives me nuts. It feels like I have to do more work to find someone genuinely interested. Living in Australia, it's not as big an issue, but I still despise the mindset.

 

And I do think you're right about my generation. We are extremely judgmental and so set in our ways. I see many refuse to change their attitudes or accept that someone chose to be different. I have considered dating someone older, but I'm rarely given a chance with them either.

 

Well that could apply to anyone, not just an Asian who prefers white boys.

[MrCastle]

I'm hispanic and date any ethnicity. I don't actively seek one out over the other. I date women who I have chemistry with, regardless of what culture they belong to. The only commonality is lifestyle choices. Other than that I don't care.

 

I don't know, it depends. If it's purely for aesthetic reasons, you know like you're just not attracted to certain looks, I don't see the issue.

 

The issue being that you're a male or female version of the ethnicity you find aesthetically unappealing.

[fortyninethousand322]

The issue being that you're a male or female version of the ethnicity you find aesthetically unappealing.

 

True, but I'm also not attracted to myself.

 

And for me (and I can only speak for myself), it's not that I'm not attracted to white women because they're white, but rather the women I happen to be attracted tend not to be white. More coincidental than causal I think. I have been attracted to particular women who happened to be white before, but as a general trend I'm not.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm attracted to women of all races. Recently saw an East African girl who made my jaw drop to the floor - hard to do for a guy like me .

 

Generally, I have my preferences towards my own race and I admit to also having a thing for bi-racial women. It does make it easier because my immediate family would prefer me not to date outside my race. Whoever I fall for is whoever I fall for though. It will probably be a mixed-race woman - they seem to like me.

[MrCastle]

True, but I'm also not attracted to myself.

 

And for me (and I can only speak for myself), it's not that I'm not attracted to white women because they're white, but rather the women I happen to be attracted tend not to be white. More coincidental than causal I think. I have been attracted to particular women who happened to be white before, but as a general trend I'm not.

 

I think you can have preferences, but not an active dislike for your race. I think that raises some eyebrows and rightfully so.

 

For example, if you're asian but you don't find asian women attractive because the way their eyes are shaped...problems.

 

Or, has been the case with me...hispanic women only dating white men because "hispanic men are thugs."

 

If you start believing stereotypes of your own race and that's why you object to dating them, I think there is an issue.

 

There's a difference with that and liking things different from you. You may like non whites because you've been around your fair share of white people so to you, anyone else is exotic looking.

 

I personally have a preference for green or blue eyes. A trait not commonly found in hispanics although we are probably more diverse than any other ethnicity. We come in all colors and types -- however, the bulk of us have big brown or black eyes.

 

So would I be more drawn to a white girl with blue or green eyes? It's possible, but that doesn't mean I find fellow Puerto Ricans a turn off.

 

If you are actively turned off by your male or female counterpart, that's deep. That's a whole different level.

[mesmerized]

I have to say, white men are way overrated. Well I guess it depends where they are from too. But I don't think the preference a lot of women show towards them is for their looks, it's for their "status".

[Revolver]

I have to say, white men are way overrated. Well I guess it depends where they are from too. But I don't think the preference a lot of women show towards them is for their looks, it's for their "status".

 

This is true, for some women dating white men is a status symbol

[Mrlonelyone]

This is probably one of my greatest fears. I always have to wonder if someone likes me for the real me and it drives me nuts. .

 

 

You have a right to that feeling, but you may need to get over it to get what you want in a relationship.

 

 

As I pointed out, every single relationship begins with chemical physical attraction based on height, weight, symmetry, height/ waist waist / shoulder waist/hip leg length/height and other ratio's. All relationships begin on a shallow looks based level then progress to a deeper emotional level. First chemistry, then compatibility*.

 

 

It feels like I have to do more work to find someone genuinely interested. Living in Australia, it's not as big an issue, but I still despise the mindset.

 

And I do think you're right about my generation. We are extremely judgmental and so set in our ways. I see many refuse to change their attitudes or accept that someone chose to be different. I have considered dating someone older, but I'm rarely given a chance with them either.

 

 

 

I think we are in the same generation technically if your over 18 right now. In global culture we all live in now it's one big race to collect all the artifacts of success. College degree, a job that is upper middle class and professional, a wife/husband, children, two cars, a big house. Plus there are all these caste system like ideas of who should be with whom in terms of race, age, profession.

 

 

Those ideas and expectations always existed. However the two or three generations before us seemed to be relaxing those. Now there are so many more uptight people in the world. Perhaps since the end of the World War's and the ColdWar....with relative peace and order comes uptightness?

 

 

 

 

TLDR THIS IS MY PRACTICAL ADVICE:

Try being friends first.

 

 

*There is the path where first you are friends with someone then you become more than friends. In that case chemistry always sparks the friends to lovers transition. When friends become lovers then stay lovers+friends it's really special. OP you may consider that approach. Any man who's not willing to be a platonic friend for at least a few months is just looking to get some Mao Mao Diddy Mao (I know it's Vietnamese not Thai but bear with me).

[StanMusial]

I have to say, white men are way overrated. Well I guess it depends where they are from too. But I don't think the preference a lot of women show towards them is for their looks, it's for their "status".

 

I overheard these ladies in the break room one day bitching about their ex's. This one black lady said, "Honey I married a black guy and then I married a white guy and let me tell you they're all the same."

[hppr]

I'm just trying to start some discussion here.

 

As a young Asian woman, I've mainly been attracted to Caucasian men. Now, I've flipped both sides of the coin and I've even dated a 'halfie'. However, my luck finding an Caucasian man my age who is interested in being in a serious relationship is pretty rare. I have a feeling the attitude to interracial dating is still not as positive as I'd hoped.

 

Everyone I know (including my family) sees me marrying a Caucasian guy rather than an Asian. Of course, it's too early for me to be thinking about such things, but I'm surprised that I'm not finding as many 'potentials' as I'd hoped. I'm an active girl and I'm always meeting new people around university but I don't think anyone ever sees me as more than a friend.

 

So, young people (especially in the early 20s), what are your attitudes towards dating a person of another culture?

 

I'm white and have dated girls of other races. If you have similar interests and backgrounds it's no big deal and not the obstacle people make it out to be.

[mesmerized]

also, I have to add that white men are the least likely to want interracial relationships. White people tend to see their race as superior even though they never say it out loud. And can you blame them? it seems like every other race thinks that way about them too!! Older people are more open to it because they don't have many options and they also can get a "young" Asian girl much easier than they can with a white girl. I find white men to be mostly attracted to white women or women who are not vastly different from white women, like latinas etc.

Edited August 25, 2013 by mesmerized

[Woggle]

It's just sad in general when people that level of self hatred. I have heard of other races doing things to make themselves look more caucasian tp the point of some asians having surgery on their eyes. Be happy with who you are.