Young people and dating another ethnicity?

[aj22one]

I don't know where you live but the truth is that interracial dating is a fetish for some people. They want to date a member of a certain race because it's exotic. This is no worse than liking someone for their broad shoulders or wide hips.

 

 

The trick is finding someone who will stick around once the chemical high of getting with a new exotic person of another race wears off.... and the judgement of society kicks in.

 

 

 

 

Younger people are some of the most judgemental when it comes to who should date who / when / where.

 

 

My earnest advice is that you should consider looking for an older man perhaps one with a history of dating interracially. Such a man is comfortable with who he is and what he likes. Such a man will have a social circle that accepts him and knows his preference for Asian women and accepts or approves of it.

 

 

When you date a younger person interracially there is always the fact that you will be part of a coupling which other young people will say not nice things about. Most younger people are not able to cope with that.

 

 

 

 

Remember this controversy? Cheerios Commercial Featuring Mixed Race Family Gets Racist Backlash (VIDEO)

 

Haha describes me perfectly. I have a fetish for brown women. It ain't bout the high of being with somebody exotic though, since I always stick around to work out the problems that come up. haha

 

OP, I'm a white dude who has only dated brown girls, including my wife who is Pakistani. Just a preference I got. Most dudes I know date whoever though, don't matter race.

[aj22one]

also, I have to add that white men are the least likely to want interracial relationships. White people tend to see their race as superior even though they never say it out loud. And can you blame them? it seems like every other race thinks that way about them too!! Older people are more open to it because they don't have many options and they also can get a "young" Asian girl much easier than they can with a white girl. I find white men to be mostly attracted to white women or women who are not vastly different from white women, like latinas etc.

 

Aren't you Persian? I think I remember you tellin me that haha. Persian girls are usually extremely attractive haha don't tell my wife I said that.

 

In my experience it's brown chicks who are the least likely to want to date outside the race. Struck out many times that way haha.

[aj22one]

I think you can have preferences, but not an active dislike for your race. I think that raises some eyebrows and rightfully so.

 

For example, if you're asian but you don't find asian women attractive because the way their eyes are shaped...problems.

 

Or, has been the case with me...hispanic women only dating white men because "hispanic men are thugs."

 

If you start believing stereotypes of your own race and that's why you object to dating them, I think there is an issue.

 

There's a difference with that and liking things different from you. You may like non whites because you've been around your fair share of white people so to you, anyone else is exotic looking.

 

I personally have a preference for green or blue eyes. A trait not commonly found in hispanics although we are probably more diverse than any other ethnicity. We come in all colors and types -- however, the bulk of us have big brown or black eyes.

 

So would I be more drawn to a white girl with blue or green eyes? It's possible, but that doesn't mean I find fellow Puerto Ricans a turn off.

 

If you are actively turned off by your male or female counterpart, that's deep. That's a whole different level.

 

Dude ain't nothin wrong with not being attracted to your own race. haha

 

I ain't ever met a white woman I was attracted to. Ever since I was a kid. I remember my favorite Disney movie was Aladdin because of Jasmine. Been hooked on brown chicks ever since.

 

White chicks are cool and all that, just not doing it for me. haha to each their own.

[mesmerized]

Aren't you Persian? I think I remember you tellin me that haha. Persian girls are usually extremely attractive haha don't tell my wife I said that.

 

In my experience it's brown chicks who are the least likely to want to date outside the race. Struck out many times that way haha.

 

lol thanks I think you can find attractive women in every race, really. Personally, I've had men of all naionalities/races being attracted to me except...Asians. They don't seem to like me but that's fine cause I'm not a big fan either.

[aj22one]

Complete nonsense. Middle eastern people are the ones least likely to want interracial relationships. Hell a Christian boy dating a muslim girl in Saudi Arabia can get sent to prison for god's sake

 

True with some exceptions haha. Persian people are usually pretty open minded, same with Bengalis for some reason but they're not from Mid East. haha

 

Theres lotta things you can get sent to prison for in KSA.

[MrCastle]

In my experience it's brown chicks who are the least likely to want to date outside the race. Struck out many times that way haha.

 

I've seen more brown women with white men than brown men with white women. Statisically white women are the least likely to date outside of their race so that makes sense.

[aj22one]

I've seen more brown women with white men than brown men with white women. Statisically white women are the least likely to date outside of their race so that makes sense.

 

Ain't you in nyc? Might explain a lot of it. Most of the brown girls my wife grew up with up in Queens are dating white guys. haha

 

Down here in dc, brown tend to stick to their own race. Least in my experience. Struck out a lot with brown girls hoping to marry a fellow Gujarati or Punjabi or Muslim and such things. Course I dated my share of brown chicks too so I can't complain haha.

[MrCastle]

Ain't you in nyc? Might explain a lot of it. Most of the brown girls my wife grew up with up in Queens are dating white guys. haha

 

Down here in dc, brown tend to stick to their own race. Least in my experience. Struck out a lot with brown girls hoping to marry a fellow Gujarati or Punjabi or Muslim and such things. Course I dated my share of brown chicks too so I can't complain haha.

 

I live right outside the city in the burbs. In the city I've seen everything. Any combo you can come up with, I've seen it.

 

In the burbs though whites (predominantly italian) stick to their own. Very very little interracial dating where I live.

[mesmerized]

Meh, it's mostly related to where you live. I see it all but I see more white women with non-white men than the other way around.

[fortyninethousand322]

I think you can have preferences, but not an active dislike for your race. I think that raises some eyebrows and rightfully so.

 

For example, if you're asian but you don't find asian women attractive because the way their eyes are shaped...problems.

 

Or, has been the case with me...hispanic women only dating white men because "hispanic men are thugs."

 

If you start believing stereotypes of your own race and that's why you object to dating them, I think there is an issue.

 

There's a difference with that and liking things different from you. You may like non whites because you've been around your fair share of white people so to you, anyone else is exotic looking.

 

I personally have a preference for green or blue eyes. A trait not commonly found in hispanics although we are probably more diverse than any other ethnicity. We come in all colors and types -- however, the bulk of us have big brown or black eyes.

 

So would I be more drawn to a white girl with blue or green eyes? It's possible, but that doesn't mean I find fellow Puerto Ricans a turn off.

 

If you are actively turned off by your male or female counterpart, that's deep. That's a whole different level.

 

What are you trying to say? That I have something wrong with me? I mean beyond the obvious.

 

I have no idea if I'm "actively turned off" by white women, I'm just saying that in general I've not often been attracted to white women.

[thefooloftheyear]

Its just as closed minded to criticize someone for wanting to stay wthin their own culture/race as it is to criticizing them for not wanting to..

 

Find who you like, but dont be judgemental if those wont want to date outside..Its their right as well...Its a big world. There will always be some that will fit your criteria.

 

Good luck

 

TFY

[nicolewest]

I would say Im intrigued by dating people of different cultures. I have a thing for accents, which is probably why most of my bfs/guys I've dated have been from different backgrounds.

 

My family initially thought I would be more inclined to date Caucasians because I grew up in predominately white areas (I'm black).

 

Why do you think they aren't interested being in serious relationships?

 

The worst is people with fetishes or when guys always ask if I date white guys. turn off.

[Stefanie]

Well that could apply to anyone, not just an Asian who prefers white boys.

 

Very valid point. I suppose I'd be lucky to find anyone who could see past my neuroticism. I had the whole "exotic" imagery in mind. I'd hate to have someone see me as a "challenge" or something different to "try".

[Stefanie]

Any man who's not willing to be a platonic friend for at least a few months is just looking to get some Mao Mao Diddy Mao (I know it's Vietnamese not Thai but bear with me).

 

I'm Chinese, not Thai. I only dated a half-Thai guy, haha. I have never been in a situation where a friendship grew into a relationship. I don't find it's possible for me to view someone as a friend and have it develop into deeper feelings later. Whether I'm attracted to someone initially or not, it sticks that way. If I lose attraction over time, I still can't only view that person as a friend, but that's just me.

 

I do appreciate the advice though. I wish it worked for me. Many of my male friends (from all ethnicities) had feelings develop for me over time because they got to know me and I love that. I just couldn't reciprocate the feelings.

 

I'm mixed (black/white) and I've dated white and (East) Indian guys. That's where my preferences are, white and brown. I do find myself occasionally finding a black man attractive but mostly, I am 'meh' about them. And that's fine because they have seemed 'meh' about me too.

 

I surprised myself when I met an Indian guy in my finance class that I was really attracted to. They tend to have very little to do with me but he caught my attention quickly. I think it could be said that none of us actively seek out a specific race, nor do we decide our preferences. It's more that the qualities we happen to be attracted to may be more common in a different culture. Like someone said, it's coincidental, rather than causal.

 

Its just as closed minded to criticize someone for wanting to stay wthin their own culture/race as it is to criticizing them for not wanting to..

 

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm criticising! There's a difference to me between someone only choosing to date within their race and someone simply being more attracted to their race. One's attitude obviously can influence this and there are going to be blurred lines but actively disagreeing with it seems a bit medieval to me.

 

Why do you think they aren't interested being in serious relationships?.

 

Perhaps it simply is that people my age want nothing more than just to "have fun". I can't remember the last person I spoke to at uni that was in a serious relationship other than the older students who transferred later.

[Stefanie]

I'd be willing to mess around with a Chinese girl and enjoy it but I wouldn't want to marry one or seriously date one.

 

Haha, and it's people like you I'll be avoiding. There are too many stereotypes about us not being the perfect 'marriage material'. I don't know if I have any qualities of a good serious partner but I don't like knowing we get written off like that.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm Chinese, not Thai. I only dated a half-Thai guy, haha. I have never been in a situation where a friendship grew into a relationship. I don't find it's possible for me to view someone as a friend and have it develop into deeper feelings later. Whether I'm attracted to someone initially or not, it sticks that way. If I lose attraction over time, I still can't only view that person as a friend, but that's just me.

 

I do appreciate the advice though. I wish it worked for me. Many of my male friends (from all ethnicities) had feelings develop for me over time because they got to know me and I love that. I just couldn't reciprocate the feelings.

 

 

 

I surprised myself when I met an Indian guy in my finance class that I was really attracted to. They tend to have very little to do with me but he caught my attention quickly. I think it could be said that none of us actively seek out a specific race, nor do we decide our preferences. It's more that the qualities we happen to be attracted to may be more common in a different culture. Like someone said, it's coincidental, rather than causal.

 

 

 

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm criticising! There's a difference to me between someone only choosing to date within their race and someone simply being more attracted to their race. One's attitude obviously can influence this and there are going to be blurred lines but actively disagreeing with it seems a bit medieval to me.

 

 

 

Perhaps it simply is that people my age want nothing more than just to "have fun". I can't remember the last person I spoke to at uni that was in a serious relationship other than the older students who transferred later.

 

Not sure I understand your point, my thing is that there are many people who are, say, Portuguese and simply want to stay within their own. Same for black, latino, etc.. In many cases it makes for a more smooth relationship, because the participants are generally on the same page on a lot of cultural issues.. Not being on the same page here can really cause a strain in a ltr or marriage. Doesnt make them Medieval at all!

 

I wish you all the best...

 

TFY

[Stefanie]

Not sure I understand your point, my thing is that there are many people who are, say, Portuguese and simply want to stay within their own. Same for black, latino, etc.. In many cases it makes for a more smooth relationship, because the participants are generally on the same page on a lot of cultural issues..

 

I agree with you. Like I said, there are specific reasons and exceptions that I didn't cover but wanting to uphold your cultural values is very valid. Wanting a 'smoother' relationship is somewhat different and attainable with anyone with the right personality for you, regardless of background. My use of the word 'medieval' is somewhat dramatic but in a contemporary society some might consider it a tad 'old-school' to avoid dating other ethnicities even when you may be more attracted to them. But again, blurred lines. Religion, family values, etc. are a given. I'm more concerned with those who waste a person's time because they never saw that person as more than a 'challenge' or something different and for 'fun'.

 

Wishing me all the best won't be necessary. I don't think luck has anything to do with it.

[hotpotato]

*wavey*

I'm a minority woman who has always liked white men. I'm totally fine with dating out of my race. I've mostly dated older men. My recent ex is white and my age. We were together 10 mos. Before that I dated a white guy for almost 3 years, but he was much older than I was.

 

For any woman wanting a serious relationship, I would say date a man a couple years older.

[hotpotato]

I've seen more brown women with white men than brown men with white women. Statisically white women are the least likely to date outside of their race so that makes sense.

 

Hmm...When did that change? It has always been either black women or Asian men dating outside their race the least. White men/black women was the fastest growing group.

[counterman]

There are Caucasian guys that will want to date you seriously, just as there are guys that would want to date you just for fun. Keep meeting new people and keep an open mind; you may find someone you like who's not Caucasian but wants to date you seriously.

[MrRightNow]

I'm South Asian and I've only dated Caucasian girls. I'd probably marry one too if I believed in marriage. Most of my white friend LOVE Asian girls so don't worry too much about it. A lot of younger guys avoid relationships in general, especially if they have options. You have plenty of time to find someone.

[Woggle]

I have been seeing a lot of white man/black woman couples recently. I don't know what it is behind the sudden increase.

[ThaWholigan]

I have been seeing a lot of white man/black woman couples recently. I don't know what it is behind the sudden increase.

Same here, a lot of black girls I meet nowadays are really into white guys! I don't mind myself, I was wondering when this would occur .

 

I tend to get a lot more interest from other races nowadays than I do from black girls, funnily enough

[Woggle]

Same here, a lot of black girls I meet nowadays are really into white guys! I don't mind myself, I was wondering when this would occur .

 

I tend to get a lot more interest from other races nowadays than I do from black girls, funnily enough

 

If I were single I would have no issue with dating a black woman but one time I went on a date and she sounded like a klansman with the way she was talking about black men. Complete turn off.

[hotpotato]

Same here, a lot of black girls I meet nowadays are really into white guys! I don't mind myself, I was wondering when this would occur .

 

I tend to get a lot more interest from other races nowadays than I do from black girls, funnily enough

 

Im proud to say, I was doing it before it waa cool. That and wearing the nappy.