Riou Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Don't bother,let her be surprised that you don't even remember her birthday 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 I posted yesterday on here about contacting my ex for her birthday everyone said no. And as of today I am holding to that. I am very depressed today though and the anxiety is awful... Her birthday was a mini holiday to me especially after being with her for 5 years.I always enjoyed the smile when I gave her her gifts so Its a rough day.. Figured I would come on here instead of sending that Birthday wish or whatever... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
barky2 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Good job buddy. Thank you for taking our advice. Remember she didn't contact you. Barky 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Good man!!! Keep up the good work Do something nice/fun for yourself instead!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 You'll be so relieved when tomorrow comes. One, because you were able to stand your ground and be proud of that accomplishment and two, you will realize this one little step, however painful, is going to take you much further into your healing and your ability to have self-control. I say if you can do this, you can do anything! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I commend you for remaining strong Sir. And you are making all the right choices by posting here and not caving in. In time you will view this day just as any other day and won't hold it at such high regards. Remain strong it's a nice day out, keep posting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thanks for your replies guys. i hope you are right in regards to feeling a little better tomorrow cause as of this moment it feels like a mini Armageddon inside...Seriously!....What makes it worse I am at work and saw her drive by in her work vehicle (Drives an ambulance as an EMT ) about half hour ago when I was on the roof at my job....And no she was not checking up or anything I work at a mall right off the main highway she was driving on the highway...but regardless thats when I felt worse.....Someone above doesnt like me i keep telling myself cause really what are the odds???..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Although you don't feel it now, you are doing amazingly! Tomorrow give yourself a pat on the back because you my dear were strong. I hope you feel better soon, I'll share the same pain in a month and I hope I am equally as strong xx 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thanks for your response mummyjonno....Doesnt feel like I am strong....And i hope for your strength in a month that you will do the same... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dearsuzan Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I know that you don't know me, but I am really proud of you. It takes a strong person to do that and I wish I was that strong. You did that right thing - pat yourself on the back. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thanks for your replies guys. i hope you are right in regards to feeling a little better tomorrow cause as of this moment it feels like a mini Armageddon inside...Seriously!....What makes it worse I am at work and saw her drive by in her work vehicle (Drives an ambulance as an EMT ) about half hour ago when I was on the roof at my job....And no she was not checking up or anything I work at a mall right off the main highway she was driving on the highway...but regardless thats when I felt worse.....Someone above doesnt like me i keep telling myself cause really what are the odds???..... I saw my ex randomly at a parking garage in a town neither one of us live in about two weeks after our break. I doubled back and scurried down the stairs before she saw me (at least I hope she didn't see me). Then I go to get a drink to calm my nerves at a bar I never go to and she never went to (because I didn't want to run into her again) and as I was drinking, I see two of her co-workers walking back from the bathroom looking straight at me, so I knew she was somewhere in the bar. I finished my drink promptly and bolted out of the bar looking directly ahead so I didn't see her. I haven't seen her randomly in the year since (saw her non-randomly a couple times). Point is you aren't cursed. These things happen and they suck. You have to fight through. I mean, she didn't care enough to wish you a happy birthday, you shouldn't wish her one. If you really need to buy a gift, buy yourself one. You deserve it -- not some woman who didn't care enough about you to wish you a happy birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
StraylightRun24 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 While everybody else has basically said it already I just wanted to add that I'm proud of you too and I actually think tomorrow when you wake up you'll be proud of yourself too. I went through the same moral dilemma about my ex's birthday back in May and eventually was talked out of wishing her a happy birthday and you know what.....it was the right thing to do. Ironically today is my birthday and it's been silent on her end......but that's probably because we've been broken up for 8 months! We all know how hard it is vinsanity but keep your head up and while it's hard to tell at this exact moment you are in fact doing the right thing here. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I can't tell you how many of the exact same year make, model and color of cars there are in this small town that exactly match my ex's. About a month ago I was at the gas station filling up and the big motor-home at the pump next to me pulled out to reveal it. Her car!!! Oh sh*t. My heart sank and my pulse raced... Pheww! Wasn't her. But the Universe has a good sense of humor and does crap like that to me all the time. Funny Universe Link to post Share on other sites
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 You are strong for not caving in, and thanks for having faith in our advice. Give a present to yourself!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Thank you all for your kind words and support and everyone who has posted in This forum and my other ones as well......... This all tells me that there are good caring people out there. And none of you even know me.....So again I appreciate all your support...Just wanted to get that out there.... Mtnbiker I live in a bigger city and when driving I always look for her car and when I think I see it ..My heart sinks....But to make things worse my ex lives one street over from my apartment (lives with her mother in her basement w/ her 3 kids..Moved close to her so I could help out about 3 years ago) So its more likely I will see her which I am petrified of....You can literally see her house from my bedroom window....My point being its unavoidable that I will see her eventually which is what I am petrified of...Ya know... And as for her Bday tomorrow can not come fast enough.... to get out of this dreadful day... Link to post Share on other sites
supaflyz Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Good job man! Keep it up. Of course you are going to be down. However, you listen to our advice and did the right thing. Yeah I know what you mean by seeing their smile. I actually just had a dream about my ex. For some reason it was the superbowl already lol. I guess I like football so much, and the football season is about to start. We would always cuddle on my couch on Sundays and watch our hometeam. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Yup football was our thing too(Sunday nights) I really got her into the Patriots..... even fantasy.....just going over players and whatnot for fantasy football..Broke my heart when I had to delete her name and email from the league......She became very knowledgeable last year in it and turned out loving it..It makes me sad...But hopefully seeing I am so interested in football will help take my mind off her.... Link to post Share on other sites
forsaken1 Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 So tomorrow is my exes Birthday and I am debating to send her a happy bday text or card.....If you do not know the story please read. I attached the link http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/417902-dumped-after-5-years I am basically 6 weeks since she dumped me and going on 5 weeks NC . Anyways my birthday was a few weeks ago and I did not receive any contact from her no text card or nothing for it. I know she doesnt care but I clearly still do care and just because she doesnt I feel Im not her and should still give her a happy birthday wish. I am looking at it from both sides of the fence. The first begin she may have well moved on and possibly with someone else and here I am still thinking of her which shows the loser ex still caring for her after what she put me through. On the other hand again I am a caring person its who I am just cause she didnt do something why should I be like her Regardless. Please what do I do I am so torn.. I keep telling myself ok last time I saw her (after the first week when I was begging and pleading) she was talking to her ex friends with benefits to try and talk myself out of it.... Please help.... I know this post was a while ago but I'm curious if you ever sent her anything or texted her? My bday was last Thursday and my ex texted and send me a card after 3 month nc can't figure out why (he left me). Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 I havent read the responses just the title: No. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vinsanity1307 Posted September 7, 2013 Author Share Posted September 7, 2013 No I did not end up texting her... I figured it would be a setback and have to start the whole process over again...And I ended up feeling worse the next day.. I wasnt proud or anything......Still having issues after 8 weeks since D Day...(miss her).. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 No I did not end up texting her... I figured it would be a setback and have to start the whole process over again...And I ended up feeling worse the next day.. I wasnt proud or anything......Still having issues after 8 weeks since D Day...(miss her).. Its better than texting and getting rejected more. Don't believe it? Text her right now and say what you want. You will think the feeling you have now is a picnic compared to what it could be. Trust in that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
forsaken1 Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 I hear yah! Its been a total hellish nightmare for me. And my ex stopped completely talking to me 2 months ago but then sent me a hand painted birthday card which I cannot understand why its a huge set-back and I never wanted to breakup then 3 days later I found out he has a new gf and then an apology email all within one week. I feel your pain. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 7, 2013 Share Posted September 7, 2013 No I did not end up texting her... I figured it would be a setback and have to start the whole process over again...And I ended up feeling worse the next day.. I wasnt proud or anything......Still having issues after 8 weeks since D Day...(miss her).. Same here, the day after her birthday was actually worse than her actual birthday. It gets better though! Keep on truckin'! Link to post Share on other sites
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