Weight loss Jealousy?

[90s kid]

Have any of you experienced negative comments from family or friends that are jealous of your weight loss/ healthy lifestyle.

 

Earlier today, my co-worker and close friend (I'll call her Ashley) sent me an email asking me if I wanted to go to lunch with her and a few of our co-workers. I politely declined and just said "No thanks, I'm trying to watch what I eat." She knows that I've been trying to eat healthier. They were all going to a highly fattening new place that just opened up. If they were going to a restaurant with healthy options I might have gone, but since they weren't I decided I didn't want to sabotage my weight loss goals. She responded with an email telling me to just eat half of my food and save the other half for later. Ummm, no thanks. I politely declined again. Then, she came over to me desk and tried to convince me. Again, I declined. And it was starting to feel uncomfortable.

 

A few hours later, her and another girl (I'll call her Tia) at the office come over to my desk before lunch so they can meet up with another person at the office who was coming to lunch with them. Tia asks "Are you coming?" Then, Ashely sarcastically chimes in with "No, she's gonna eat those grapes and a orange for lunch." Ummm, what? I happened to have an orange and a bag of grapes at my desk but obviously, that's not all I'm having for lunch. And even if it was, why would you call me out like that and make it seem like I'm not going to lunch with you guys because I'm barely eating and starving myself or something? I responded with "No, I just went to Subway actually" and pointed to my Subway cup. She immediately says "Subway isn't that healthy." I just kind of looked at her and said "Okaaaay." Even Tia looked at her like that was a little rude.

 

Do you think she was trying to sabotage me? If not, why do you think she did that? Ashley is a thin girl but she has been complaining to me for years that she's steadily been gaining weight and that she's a lot bigger than she used to be. She hates going to the gym and everytime she tries a new fitness regimen, she winds up giving up. I wonder if she made those comments to me because she was projecting her own issues.

 

What do you guys think about this? Have you ever had someone act jealous/ rude to you because you're trying to physically improve yourself?

[thefooloftheyear]

When you stop worrying about what other random people think about you..(and this holds true for anything in life), then you will be free..

 

Nothing comes of it...period...March to your own band.

 

TFY

[tman666]

In my experience, the best way to combat this is to keep your goals on the down-low, be honest, and don't rub your goals/current philosophies in anyone's face. If you're invited to lunch, are there options at the restaurant that could still satisfy your dietary requirements? If so, why not go and enjoy being with your friends? Unless you don't trust yourself to not go completely overboard and self-sabotage in a restaurant setting, there are probably ways to have your cake and eat it to, so to speak. Obviously, you can only answer this question for yourself.

 

As far as snide comments go, just know that there will occasionally be haters. Disregard them and avoid those types of toxic people.

 

That said, most of the people taking jabs at you probably aren't truly "haters", but simply don't understand. Just remember that it's not your job to help them understand. Joke around/jab back and them and don't worry too much about what they think.

[crederer]

I don't think she was trying to sabotage but just a bit of a biotch.

 

I lost a bunch of weight and my now ex gf gave me a real hard time about it suggesting I'm losing weight to try and cheat on her.

 

I caught this woman putting lard into my spaghetti one day....seriously.

[mea_M]

I have. And personally the opinions of others do not mean much to me. I'm nice and thin now because I worked hard to get that way. Forget what others think. Do not allow people to rent space in your head.

 

Mea

[90s kid]

 

To be honest, you were a bit snotty with your attitude though. A simple 'thanks I'm not hungry' or 'sorry, I packed my own lunch' would have sufficed. There's no need to broadcast your diet to the whole world. Also, surely that restaurant they were going to had healthier options. A light salad with half the dressing... I mean I get that you're trying to stick to the plan but just make sure you don't ruin your social life in the process.

 

I'm not really sure where you got the idea that I was broadcasting my diet to the world. I haven't told a single person in the office ANYTHING about my eating habits or health goals. I'm very private and I would never tell my co-workers about it. This girl is a good friend of mine and has been for years, so on this particular day I felt comfortable telling her that I was watching what I was eating. I would never make anyone feel bad for their eating choices. All I did was simply say "No thanks." And when she kept prodding, I told her why I didn't want to go out to eat with them in hopes that she would understand and let it go. There are many people in my office who are vegetarians, vegans, or just have a healthy lifestyle and would never dream of commenting on their life choices even if I disagree with them.

 

This place had ZERO healthy options. It was a restaurant that sold specialty hot dogs, burgers, fries, and shakes. So what exactly what was I supposed to order? If it did have healthy options, I would have gladly tagged along with them.

 

Also, I can assure you that I am not one of those people who thinks that everyone is trying to sabotage me. I keep my diet goals to myself and therefore, have never really gotten rude comments about it. On this day, there was something about her tone that was very mean spirited and I could tell that even our other co-worker noticed it.

[90s kid]

A lot of people who are trying to lose weight often swear others are trying to sabotage them. The stories often sound a lot like yours. Or, someone insists they have a little cake at a birthday party, maybe they "help you" to an extra serving at a potluck, etc. The thing people fail to realize is that eating is what people do, it's how we bond and before you started trying to lose weight it's what you did a lot of too.

 

Just to clarify, I don't have any problem with someone asking me to lunch with them or fixing me a plate at a party. Those are nice gestures and I don't expect someone to be psychic and know exactly what my eating habits are. What I have an issue with is the persistent pressure being placed on me knowing that it would sabotage my efforts to be healthy. She asked me 3 separate times (over email and twice in person) and he would not accept no for an answer. Even when I was clearly uncomfortable. That's just plain rude. Please don't turn it around on my like I was the rude once when all I was doing was going about my regular work day and giving a simple "No, thank you."

 

To give a little more back story, I never confided in her about my health goals. However, she constantly confides in me about hers, telling me her current weight, her recent diets, and the recreational classes she's taking. Every time she tells me these things, I give her support and encouragement. I never push or offer unsolicited advice. And I would never say "hey, just blow off that spin class and go to happy hour with me" or "yuck, that salad isn't even that healthy, just come and get in a burger with me instead." And then strong arm her until she accepts. That's just plain rude to me.

Edited September 3, 2013 by 90s kid

[thefooloftheyear]

Just to clarify, I don't have any problem with someone asking me to lunch with them or fixing me a plate at a party. Those are nice gestures and I don't expect someone to be psychic and know exactly what my eating habits are. What I have an issue with is the persistent pressure being placed on me knowing that it would sabotage my efforts to be healthy. She asked me 3 separate times (over email and twice in person) and he would not accept no for an answer. Even when I was clearly uncomfortable. That's just plain rude. Please don't turn it around on my like I was the rude once when all I was doing was going about my regular work day and giving a simple "No, thank you."

 

To give a little more back story, I never confided in her about my health goals. However, she constantly confides in me about hers, telling me her current weight, her recent diets, and the recreational classes she's taking. Every time she tells me these things, I give her support and encouragement. I never push or offer unsolicited advice. And I would never say "hey, just blow off that spin class and go to happy hour with me" or "yuck, that salad isn't even that healthy, just come and get in a burger with me instead." And then strong arm her until she accepts. That's just plain rude to me.

 

 

A burger is a healthy option, btw,,Leave off the mayo, cheese and bacon and maybe take out half the roll...Heck, I can find relatively "healthy options", at junk food joints as well..Its a better option than a salad as far as I am concerned...Just sayin'

 

Here's another thing..

 

Unless you are competing, If you are a "strict" dieter on a day in and day out basis, going out every once in a while and "cheating" won't account for anything in the scheme of things...You're not sabotaging anything. Its like pissing into the ocean as far as impact goes. You can use it as a motivational tool-to keep from driving yourself nuts eating the same bland shyt. It will make your guests and colleagues feel more comfortable..Otherwise you wind up coming across as the "goody too shoes" or the "stick in the mud"...Thats no fun...

 

Id never consider a big plate of homemade pasta with all the peripherals and a nice piece of Arthur Ave Italian bread as a daily staple..But on the offchance that my dear Italian mom is making it, Im there like swimwear..

 

I hope I didnt come across as critical. I just think you are getting uptight over something that has an easy and enjoyable solution.

 

Best to you..

 

TFY

[90s kid]

 

Unless you are competing, If you are a "strict" dieter on a day in and day out basis, going out every once in a while and "cheating" won't account for anything in the scheme of things...You're not sabotaging anything. Its like pissing into the ocean as far as impact goes. You can use it as a motivational tool-to keep from driving yourself nuts eating the same bland shyt. It will make your guests and colleagues feel more comfortable..Otherwise you wind up coming across as the "goody too shoes" or the "stick in the mud"...Thats no fun...

 

 

I appreciate your comment but I disagree. I think you're making a lot of assumptions about me. I never said that I was on a super strict diet or that I don't enjoy having a snack or a slice of pizza every once in a while. However, anyone who has ever had a weight loss goal knows that you have to be conscious about your eating and plan your meals ahead of time. I have gone out to eat with this particular co-worker MANY times, so I don't believe I was giving off the impression of being "uptight" or "a stick in the mud" just because I didn't want to go this time. I just hate feeling pressured to do things. It reminds me of when I was in college and my friends would practically shove drinks in my face when I told them I don't like the taste of alcohol. I don't understand why you would want to pressure someone into doing something they're clearly uncomfortable with.

 

Overall, I don't think the comment was malicious or anything. It bothered me a little bit so I wanted to share it. I'm definitely not going to dwell on it though.

[SpiralOut]

I don't think she is trying to sabotage you. It sounds like she takes things personally. Maybe she thought you were making up an excuse to not go to lunch with her.

 

Next time she asks, give her a counteroffer. Say you can't this time, but would she like to go to lunch with you another day. Then, pick a restaurant of your choice.

Edited September 3, 2013 by SpiralOut