affairaddict Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 I made progress I thought. Now feel stuck. I've blocked all ways of contacting online, but I've started looking at things he's posting why why why I'm so cross with myself I'm fine with NC actually amazing at it - don't ever slip but the peeking I'm awful at. It's 6 weeks and I can't let go. It's so hard because it was left on decent terms and I/ we didn't stop caring. It's so bloody hard to leave an EA worse than a normal break up. I know it was no good, I know I deserve better. I won't go back there no sir, but I can't let go fully. I think about him A LOT of the day. Daydreaming about stupid stuff. I'm not keeping busy enough but it's hard as I'm recovering and in treatment so I have to rest and be at home a lot. It's so f**%#} hard trying to get over someone when you're having this poxy C treatment aghh. I suppose in my heart I believe we were meant to be and we aren't because he's not with me. I've tried to date , I'm just bored out my brain. I have no chemistry with them. It's hard to hate someone who you cared about because they didn't chose you. I wish I could take a magic pill and I would never think of him again . Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 NC means...all forms of contact. You have not been NC. We all can control our thoughts, and our actions. Learning healthy coping mechanisms means we need to be aware when we are using unhealthy ones..and replacing them with healthy ones. The more we do this..the easier it is to use the healthy ones. You need to start building your future for you. We all make short and long term goals and plans. Start doing that for yourself...just you. You don't have to hate anyone...you just have to not care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author affairaddict Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 My interpretation is we've not spoken to each other. I don't think looking is quite the same I know that's disagreed here on LS HOWEVER it's stalling me. I can't stop looking I've tried. I don't know why I can't stop it!! Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 B/c it's addictive. THEY are addictive. I swear it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imfine Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Go complete NC sweetie. The mind effery is not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaintedLuv Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 (edited) Trust me as a fellow MM "e-stalker", at first you can't help but look out of curiosity, wondering if he's posting stuff for you that no one would get, etc but when you stop looking, it hurts less. U won't be pining or wishing it was u on his arm in pictures when u stop looking. It will make it easier to move on and help u put this all behind you. I'm guilty of this too but since I've basically ended things, this time around I've stopped almost all e-stalking because its not healthy. Once in while I slip up but it gets easier to stop once u train urself to not look. Hopefully I can stop looking and dont have any moments of weakness because my heart is going to shatter when pictures of them and their new baby get posted in a couple of weeks and my progress will regress. Edited August 26, 2013 by TaintedLuv Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts