A question in regards to the MM staying away for good

[Cocochai]

It was posted in another thread how if you demand more then what the MM can give (pretty much the same perks the BS is getting), will that put a stop to him bothering you weeks/months down te road? Or is it that he'll still try his luck in case you "forgt" what you demanded from him?

[happy stillmore]

All I asked was for him to freely text me and be able to leave the house alone. It was too much to ask and it is over between us. So, I'm guessing he knows what I want and won't contact me unless he is moving out of the house (won't happen). He wasn't able to do either if still at the house.

[affairaddict]

Hi.

 

Well I was going to say this: yes probably, if you say leave me alone for good unless you leave her. Might scare him a bit and he will skulk back to the BS.

 

But actually no. I pretty much think that MM know you love them and want them to leave the whole time. So scrap the above. Yes I think most will come back and try because they think you've weakened and you miss them enough to accept scraps. I.e she let me do this for x years why won't she let me come back and resume affair again, bet she will..

 

People on Ls say if they leave you alone and respect your wishes they care about you. These are the more decent of the cake eaters.

 

The ones who keep coming back do not care and do not respect you. They are not listening to your pain or wishes.

 

Which one would you prefer?

[fanine]

Three times I asked my xMM to leave me alone. I told him the situation made me unhappy. I told him that I could not be with a MM. But he would always try and get back in contact. But each time it wore me down more because i would give in to him and then feel even worse with the highs and the lows. He was only thinking of himself, what he wanted. He did not respect my wishes, he did not seem to care it made me unhappy. He just wanted me.

[LimeBlue]

My AP also was unable to send a text when with his girlfriend. To me this was just another way he was compartmentalizing his life, and he probably always will. Then he tells me he needs to focus on his life, so I do the right thing and stay away, then next thing I know he is telling me how worried he is that I was avoiding him. I don't get it. Been NC for weeks now and I miss him but I have given him enough air time, so no more.

[Betterthanthis13]

It was posted in another thread how if you demand more then what the MM can give (pretty much the same perks the BS is getting), will that put a stop to him bothering you weeks/months down te road? Or is it that he'll still try his luck in case you "forgt" what you demanded from him?

 

What do you mean by perks? Do you mean asking MM to leave BS? Or to just make more time for you despite his circumstances?

[Cocochai]

What do you mean by perks? Do you mean asking MM to leave BS? Or to just make more time for you despite his circumstances?

 

When I say perks I mean... Wanting to be in a relatinship where you not receiving bread crumbs (which we all know wil never be the full sandwich). I would think that would scare them off but judging from others response and opinions ... If it was an emotionl longterm A they will find a way to try and seak back in.

 

And your right... They don't respect you if they keep coming back.

[trailrunner1975]

They can only sneak back in if you leave the door unlocked. Mine tried to pick the lock via text but failed a few weeks back. Delete! Door is still closed She'll just try someone else's door, fine by me.