Patty Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Last week my former friend at work asked to be friends again.Maybe she was missing me as a friend.So I started sitting with her again at break.Now shes starting to say things to worry me like "he's got another girl cause he smiled" and all that. Today I sit with her and I saw my guy playfully touching her.And it was right in front of me and he didnt seem to care.I just felt like crying right in front of him.Would that help if I cried in front of him? Im surprised he is doing this in front of me.I dont understand this.He did this 2 times today.The other week he really made me happy by giving me a kiss before I left work then I thought to myself'wow he does still love me"Then I see him touching her playfully and it makes me a little jealous. I wish he could see that she isnt a good person.He can see that she constanly irritates and teases me at work. This weekend my guy is going out of town so I cant talk to him about it.I'm confused. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi29f Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 I can't understand why you stay friends with this girl. She not doing anything but hurting & using you.Is there not anyway to talk to your bf before he leaves? You need to get to the bottom of all this flirting between the two of them. Even if she says she wants to be your friend she, doesn't. A real friend wouldn't say those things & flirt w/ you man period & especially not right in front of you. Have you talked to him about this before? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patty Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 I can't understand why you stay friends with this girl. She not doing anything but hurting & using you.Is there not anyway to talk to your bf before he leaves? You need to get to the bottom of all this flirting between the two of them. Even if she says she wants to be your friend she, doesn't. A real friend wouldn't say those things & flirt w/ you man period & especially not right in front of you. Have you talked to him about this before? Well he leaves an hour after I do and I dont know much Spanish to be able to tell him. No,I havent mentioned it to him cause I thought he could already tell by the looks on my face that I'm hurt at what he's doing. Anyway next weekend I plan on going to see him when we go to church on Sunday.His sister speaks English plus Spanish so she can translate to him what Im saying. He flirted with her right in front of me and its the third time I witnessed it.No wonder she wants me to sit with her at break cause she wants me to see the flirting. She thinks hes all for her cause shes Spanish.I dont even know why he talks to her when he can see that she is rotten to me. I wish I could go back to the other week when he gave me that surprise kiss. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Patty- Honestly, if he doesn't speak English, and you don't speak Spanish, the barrier you've got for a relationship that sounds as though its just forming is pretty darn tough. I can understand that you're in some type of relationship, but what kind of relationship do you have when two people don't understand each other? But...if you just want to get a few phrases across to him about what you're feeling when he's doing what he's doing, go to this site... http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/tr Set it to translate English to Spanish, and type in and write down the responses for what you'd like to say. Keep it simple so it doesn't get too messed up in the translation. Maybe think of a few phrases for her as well...they could start with "Mira aqui, puta..." and go on from there. My suggestion is to get a bf that can understand you...even if he doesn't speak english. Seems to me like this jerk is taking advantage of you. Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi29f Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 If you don't mind me asking how old are you? Honey let me tell you, don't assum he knows how you feel b/c of the looks you give him. Men aren't that smart. I give my husband dirty looks all the time then have to explain why I gave it ti him. They are like a different species than women & they don't think things like that are a big deal. Yeah I'd say she only wanted you to sit with her b/c of that reason. Why don't you just take your break w/ your bf & stay as far away from her as possible. But you really need to talk to him about this or its not going to stop & when you do talk to him & it doesn't stop then that should tell you something. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 BTW...no in spanish is...guess what......NO! As in, "NO, stay away from her!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patty Posted November 12, 2004 Author Share Posted November 12, 2004 Patty- Honestly, if he doesn't speak English, and you don't speak Spanish, the barrier you've got for a relationship that sounds as though its just forming is pretty darn tough. I can understand that you're in some type of relationship, but what kind of relationship do you have when two people don't understand each other? But...if you just want to get a few phrases across to him about what you're feeling when he's doing what he's doing, go to this site... http://babelfish.altavista.com/babelfish/tr Set it to translate English to Spanish, and type in and write down the responses for what you'd like to say. Keep it simple so it doesn't get too messed up in the translation. Maybe think of a few phrases for her as well...they could start with "Mira aqui, puta..." and go on from there. My suggestion is to get a bf that can understand you...even if he doesn't speak english. Seems to me like this jerk is taking advantage of you. I see what your saying.I think Im just confused. Thanks for the site. If you don't mind me asking how old are you? Honey let me tell you, don't assum he knows how you feel b/c of the looks you give him. Men aren't that smart. I give my husband dirty looks all the time then have to explain why I gave it ti him. They are like a different species than women & they don't think things like that are a big deal. Yeah I'd say she only wanted you to sit with her b/c of that reason. Why don't you just take your break w/ your bf & stay as far away from her as possible. But you really need to talk to him about this or its not going to stop & when you do talk to him & it doesn't stop then that should tell you something. Thats true,I didnt think of it that way.I'm 32. Thanks for helping me understand what is going on.I appreciate it. Patty Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Patty, she is not your friend and he is not your boyfriend. Friends act like friends and boyfriends act like boyfriends. You've gotta skip over this guy, he's nothing but heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
kiwi29f Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Talk to this guy, Stay away from this girl. If he has no remorse dump him, find someone else. You can find someone to treat you like you desearve to be treated. But if he says he'll stop then keep an eye on him make sure he does. Good Luck & if this isn't the guy for you find someone worth your time. The language thing is a pretty big barrier but I think as long as you both are willing to learn each others language then you can overcome that obsticle. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 Say this to him.... El ligar parado con su o I'm fuera de aquí (Quit flirting with her or I'm out of here)! Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted November 12, 2004 Share Posted November 12, 2004 I agree w/ the other posters. She is not treating you like a friend. I know what it's like to have a friend treat you like that. It hurts and it makes you angry. I would stay far away from her as possible. As for your BF, what a jerk for flirting w/ her right in front of you! He shouldn't be flirting w/ her period. I know how frustrating it is when you don't know Spanish. I deal w/ many Hispanic families in my job and it is frustrating when you try talking to them or when they talk to you. I don't know much Spanish myself, just what I pick up from my co-workers and it's not much. I agree, you need to go to that site and write a letter and have it translated so he can read it. He needs to know how you are feeling. GL!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 She probably missed you because she probably missed the guy you were with. Keep away from her. She only seems to cause trouble for you. That is not a friend. Maybe when you sense your boyfriend and your so called friend flirting give him the evil eye or shake your head. He should be able to understand what that means. I agree with it must be frustrating not being able to tell this guy how you are feeling. Do you have a Spanish Dictionary on you? Maybe that will help a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Say this to him.... El ligar parado con su o I'm fuera de aquí (Quit flirting with her or I'm out of here)! What language is this Patty, Hon' you obviously seem like a sweet and beautiful person, please don't do this to yourself. A guy that likes or loves you will respect you in every single way. How would he like it if you did that? He has to go out the door, pronto!!! Every day is just going to lead to a BIGGER heartache. Get out before it's too late. I honestly think you deserve better. Please think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 What language is this I used the altavista link above to translate it from English to Spanish. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Patty I agree with naive. Lots and lots of guys use girls for sex. Sex, because it's so intimate, makes you feel loved but it's not love. How can he love you when you can't even talk to each other? You have a crush on him, but he doesn't treat you the way a decent guy should treat his girl. I wish you'd drop him before your heart gets completely broken. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by tiki I used the altavista link above to translate it from English to Spanish. OH ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 He flirted with her right in front of me and its the third time I witnessed it.No wonder she wants me to sit with her at break cause she wants me to see the flirting. Time after time after time posters (including myself) have told you that from the way you say he treats you, it sounds like he is NOT your "boyfriend" he has sex with yes, that does NOT mean that he wants you to be his girlfriend. What you said above is that he FLIRTS with her IN FRONT of you. Men do not usually do this to make a woman jealous, Patty I can not believe that you can not see that this guy is trying to date your friend (at least it sounds like it). If he liked you in the same way that you liked him then I believe that he would not act this way. Try asking him... 1) Oye, quiero saber algo.....eres mi novio o eres mi amante?? 2) Por que siempre hablas con (your "friend's" name) quieres estar con ella o que?? 3) Dime que quieres conmigo, yo quiero acer tu novia pero quiero saber que quieres. 4) No mi gusta que tocas (your friend's name) mi haces sienter muy mal debas que estar junto a me, no ella. This means.... 1) Hey I want to know something, are you my boyfriend or just my lover? 2) How come you always talk to (your friend's name) do you want to be with her or what? 3) Tell me what you want with me, I want to be your girlfriend but I want to know what you want. 4) I don't like you touching (your friend's name) you make me feel bad you should be with me not with her. Patty you need to print these sayings out in spanish but put your friend's name in there where I put "your friend's name" and show him the sayings and have him write his responses..if you don't understand what he says, type it here and some of us who speak spanish will tell you what he means. The "babel fish" site is NOT reliable, it doesn't come out correctly.....anyway please let us know what happens. If you want help or want to talk you can email me directly. PM me and I will send you my email address if you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Thanks Barby...I started messing with that site after I posted it...you're right...is sux. Hope I didn't make matters worse by suggesting it. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 No prob, she probably didn't use it anyway, she doesn't seem to want to take any advice she gets, or half the time she doesn't even respond to the advice given. It's sad cuz we all just want to help her, Link to post Share on other sites
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