Author revitup Posted November 23, 2013 Author Share Posted November 23, 2013 Trippi, That is spot on right there. The dots.....they are like comfort food for the mind. Common sense is NOT very common. The STBXWW- She was angry with me one night because I had to help DD15 (DD13 at the time) with Algebra and we were doing a homework assignment with 25 questions on it. After DD13 and spending 30 minutes on problem #1 - STBXWW says "Just get on with it,DD13 has 25 problems and this will take all night,why are going on and on with this first one"? I said because now that DD13 has "LEARNED" the "Why" this is worked out this way and the "Reason" for doing it,DD13 has a new skill and watch her do the remaining 24 problems.....alone! DD13 finished all 24 remaining Algebraic problems in 15 minutes-by herself! Schools? I have had so many "misunderstandings" with the elite in DD15's schools over the years.I do not believe the teachers are bad,just restrained by regulations and political correctness from Uncle Sam. I also do not like this "everybody gets a trophy" business! Not at all ! This mentality has led to the crisis in young people today,they leave school where they are pampered and their self esteem is "built" by telling them lies! Next comes real life and it works differently.....unless they get a "Government" job, in which case they become part of the problem (not all) most of the time. Why am I writing this? I don't know but it helps my self esteem........ REVITUP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted December 4, 2013 Author Share Posted December 4, 2013 Well, the continuance in the DD15 child support amount from two weeks ago by STBWW came to a head yesterday. I was told upfront that STBXWW had called and was not coming to court anyway? STBXWW was the one who asked for additional time to prepare! If you recall,STBXWW went off on me the day before court two weeks ago because I asked that the court set the amount she would pay and refused her offer of $200.00 per month (she said I should take that because it would be less if it went to court). The court after getting the real paystubs from her employment was not under the same impression as the demented STBXWW. The support (if STBXWW ever pays) doubled from $187 (temporary anyway) to $380.00 plus insurance. What I find the most interesting about all of this is the fact that STBXWW and her DD4 at the time-now DD22, were financially supported by me for 18 years-100% and never did STBXWW work.STBXWW also collected and kept every dime of DD21's child support that was finally collected from her baby daddy! REV supported STBXWW,DD4 (now 22) and my beautiful DD15. In spite of this fact,STBXWW really doesn't want to send one dollar to support her own child - DD15! The deadbeat mom is what she really has become,I do not recognize the behavior at all and even though STBXWW has been awful at times-It's still hard to understand how a mother and a wife that was always loved and cared for like a princess would even think about behaving in such a horrible way toward her own daughter! I get it and I certainly am not surprised by anything anymore but inside I have a hard time with any empathy towards STBXWW.I have no plans to try and have any empathy for her either. Anyway,DD15 is starring in a HS play this weekend and this acting and writing in theater class is her THING! I have never seen her so wrapped up and inspired by anythins as she is about acting in this little play.It will be at the local theater in town and she is more than a HAM about how the drama teacher loves her enthusiasm and abilities in learning her lines! She is a natural! Just an update today and a little bragging for DD15! I am not gloating over the court outcome and I will never see any of the supposed support anyway most likely but it sure feels great to finally have a small VICTORY and VALIDATION. It's all getting better everyday and I am loving life. REVITUP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 A little update for my friends, Okay,I have to say that this week has been interesting and painful.It's also been a tremendous blessing. DD15 shined at the play she "starred in" at HS! I had flowers for her at the end and videos were made to have memories of her debut.She was and is so very proud of her acting and theater studies. Next,Rev goes to the Emergency Room with severe stomach/abdominal pains.I mean extreme pain.I had my appendix removed twenty years ago and that was only a little more painful than this little adventure. It turned out (after CT scans/contrast/ and several blood / lab tests) that I had a "strangulated hernia in my belly button" ! I have no idea how but I know you it hurt like I was being stabbed and the knife twisted. I had surgery on Friday and left for home late Friday afternoon.Pain meds and antibiotics in tow....Also had sinus infection,throat infection and severe bronchitis at the same time! Now I am on the way home on Friday with someone else driving me when STBXWW calls DD15 with a whole lot of beat up on REV stuff.STBXWW is really angry about having to pay support I guess. DD15 calls to let me know what was said in the conversation and how she handled her mother.It wasn't pretty. DD15 says that her mom called her just as she was getting off teh school bus for the walk up our long driveway to the farm.STBXWW starts out with the question "How are you doing"? Evidently DD15 was not amused by the stupidity of the question considering the way STBXWW has treated her in the past few months. DD15 unleashed on STBXWW with "Just how do you think I am doing -considering you have failed to pay support,taken all bank accounts,stolen my boat,lied constantly,refused to keep your promises,refused to send my personal belongings to me,disrespected my father and lied to everyone you know about you being a victim"! STBXWW seemed to only be interested in finding out Rev's income and how I am making money.STBXWW went on to say how she had did everything to save our relationship and I was the problem and I was teh reason our happy family has been broken apart? STBXWW went into how I am an unfit parent! Then says she is going to take me to court in order to prove I am unfit as a father.This is where DD15 had some wisdom and understanding. DD15 told STBXWW this "You were found by the DHHS and Courts as being unfit,now you want to get Dad ruled as unfit which will put me into a foster home"? That's you plan? DD15 then told STBXWW that STBXWW is EXACTLY like her own mother-crazy and destructive,calling and making contact before all holidays then going off on those conned into being available during the holiday only to be shunned and battered until the next holiday.STBXWW told DD15 that I am the one who is just like her mother! Wow that was fantasy land. DD15 went back on her and stood up for her dad! I am so proud of how she told the truth and put her feelings out there to STBXWW. After STBXWW got the point and DD15 was no longer in the mood to hear more BS,DD15 hung up and called me. This time DD15 said "Dad,I do not feel guilty this time and this time my thinking and quick wit was clear and to the point" DD15 then said "I am not sad that I have told her my true feelings this time and I am happy to have this all off my chest". I see DD15 as setting and keeping boundaries now in regards to her mother.She told her mom that she has SEEN both sides and now knows better than she has been TOLD in her childhood,that she makes her OWN decisions as to who is lying and who is looking out for her best interests. DD15 has developed a strong sense of self worth and now she is calm and growing spiritually and emotionally.This was not the ideal way that DD15 should have handled the STBXWW craziness but there is never any way to predict the behavior of this woman.DD15 did the best she could have under the circumstances and I am proud of her and her inner strength.She is thinking all on her own and no longer can she be persuaded by her mother or me for that matter.She is growing up. Anyway, that's a quick but long update. My hope in writing this down is that it will be a reminder to me in the future of how far DD15 and I have came and how we handled it. It may also give hope to others who know we are just human and suffer pains and setbacks just like everyone else but we continue to focus on the future and the good things in life.I like some pity from time to time too,it just doesn't pay to feel sorry for myself right now. Getting well and prospering. REVITUP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted December 19, 2013 Share Posted December 19, 2013 Rev, I am so so so happy for you... things do seem to be positive, and your daughter sounds so smart for her age and like she has a true heart. We need to chat soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted December 21, 2013 Author Share Posted December 21, 2013 Rev, I am so so so happy for you... things do seem to be positive, and your daughter sounds so smart for her age and like she has a true heart. We need to chat soon. Anytime you like my dear MsA, I've missed your posts and progress reports.I too have been a little MIA from time to time lately though. Life is honestly so great right now that I have a hard time understanding how the miracles I see with my own eyes are really happening! Touch base anytime... REVITUP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 (edited) Anytime you like my dear MsA, I've missed your posts and progress reports.I too have been a little MIA from time to time lately though. Life is honestly so great right now that I have a hard time understanding how the miracles I see with my own eyes are really happening! Touch base anytime... REVITUP How Are you doing? Merry Christmas I hope you and your daughter had a good Christmas. PS- updating my thread... some updates... some good, some not. Edited December 26, 2013 by Misadventure Link to post Share on other sites
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