Mystery2Me Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Hey Rev! Lovely gratitude post, life really is good. So happy I am for your recent victories published author, DD awesome new school year, and time with dear friends. We must continue to recognize our cups do runneth over and that is all that matters. My blue clouds have parted and I am welcoming the beautiful sunshine. Tonight I am having a dear friend round to share a home cooked meal. Sweet Cinnabelle is enjoying our new back yard patio, Saturday evening means enjoying a live band, and also this weekend putting in my fall garden. Cheers to choosing happiness. ~Mystery 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 Hey Rev! Lovely gratitude post, life really is good. So happy I am for your recent victories published author, DD awesome new school year, and time with dear friends. We must continue to recognize our cups do runneth over and that is all that matters. My blue clouds have parted and I am welcoming the beautiful sunshine. Tonight I am having a dear friend round to share a home cooked meal. Sweet Cinnabelle is enjoying our new back yard patio, Saturday evening means enjoying a live band, and also this weekend putting in my fall garden. Cheers to choosing happiness. ~Mystery I thought I was doing good and then I read what M2M is doing and now...... I still feel grateful! All is good and DD15 is good. And DD15 got the highest score in the Honors Biology class! She is so like me! Great weekend to all,thank you for what you do. REVITUP 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 Rev you are rocking it!!!! I'm tryig to keep pace with you and life on NC coastline. Enjoy it ALL! ~Mystery 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 In other news.....Miss North Carolina in a swimsuit has paralyzed Rev...... Gonna watch the Miss America Pageant for First time. REVITUP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 Okay,it's been a while since I have been on here but why? Well,my therapist gave me an assignment about three weeks ago-Do not blog or try "helping" anyone for just one week! Well,it was hard not checking in.Now I waited for three times her "assignment" period.The purpose of it all? It was to show Rev that the world won't stop if Rev isn't "helping" or trying to assist others. Well for an update-D papers from STBXWW (handwritten) came by the Sheriff-STBXWW wants the world and for me to pay for the D! STBXWW also wants to pay what amounts to nothing in Child Support! Hahaha... I have now written five more articles and all were published,NC Senators caught up in whistleblower discrimination ect! It's all good people. REVITUP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Okay,it's been a while since I have been on here but why? Well,my therapist gave me an assignment about three weeks ago-Do not blog or try "helping" anyone for just one week! Well,it was hard not checking in.Now I waited for three times her "assignment" period.The purpose of it all? It was to show Rev that the world won't stop if Rev isn't "helping" or trying to assist others. Well for an update-D papers from STBXWW (handwritten) came by the Sheriff-STBXWW wants the world and for me to pay for the D! STBXWW also wants to pay what amounts to nothing in Child Support! Hahaha... I have now written five more articles and all were published,NC Senators caught up in whistleblower discrimination ect! It's all good people. REVITUP Well, tell your therapist that you were missed!!!!! I am so happy for your writing.. you are a good guy and deserve good things! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted October 21, 2013 Author Share Posted October 21, 2013 Thank you for your support MsA,it means a lot to me. Rev is back now...decided to make the whole month off,per the therapists assignment. I'm having a strange bunch of weird feelings lately though,not unhappy or anything,just kinda "different". I don't know if it's normal after a year or if it's just me.Maybe it's just that summer is over and the change of seasons is "different".I don't know. Maybe the therapist is right...I have helped others in order to avoid my own issues? Anyway it's good to be back on the grid. REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Welcome back, Rev! I also took a little leave of absence, but for a different reason. I started to see that my responses to people were getting more and more jaded. I'm still struggling a bit with my own situation and needed to stop giving other people advice, lol! Today is our 32nd Anniversary. I'm having a little trouble getting out of bed today (in my defense, I DID just drive 13 hrs straight through fm Michigan and got in at 5am!) Happy Monday! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Porridge Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Hey there Big Man! I've also been away. Well not away as such, i've been playing League of Legends with my brother Spoke to the ex today. We've agreed to divorce with minimal fuss by saying there are no contentious assets or issues, and that we just want the paper. Spent about an hour slightly pensive about how we were actually closing a relationship bordering ten years duration, and found it a little sad. After that, felt completely liberated and happy. It really is true - no matter how long you've been apart, getting the divorce really does help to create the divide you need to completely dissociate yourself with someone. Oh, and we know full well the crazy impulsiveness of a BPD. Well here's the latest - after just two weeks with new man she told friends they were planning to start a new family. Now she's desperately trying to conceive! I think I can work out why - she's lost all her friends and has little family, so this will create a new setup and also prevent new man from abandoning her. But still, effin crazy eh! Hope you're doing well and continuing to make progress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted October 22, 2013 Author Share Posted October 22, 2013 Porridge,sounds about right unfortunately. I am so happy that I hear nothing and see nothing from the STBXWW,I am lucky. As for the BPD traits you have mentioned,it is crazy but not to the one with BPD.I think they BELIEVE they are really doing the right thing,later they change and go a different direction. What is really curious is the NEW GUYS who like us just go with the whole crazy making in the beginning.We here know they too will either be here with us one day or worse. I am happy for your progress and salute your courage. REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Okay, for a day or two.Rev was on Sirius XM Radio in a DC studio recently.The Madison show read some articles written by and also about Rev. So,I was on this roundtable discussion with ESPN,Washington Post,USA Today,Apache Leader,NCAI,WTOP,IndianNewsNetwork,The Nation and several other elite writers and activists. Rev was outnumbered twenty to one and was well prepared mainly because that's how it has been in my life for 18+ years with the STBXWW!!!! You see folks,it really isn't about what happens to us but what we learn because of what happens to us. I have now been written about in articles and have forgotten how many articles I have written.All in a matter of a few months.God has been good to me and I am humbled by the attention.I now have been opposition researched by numerous DC insiders,blocked from a speech planned for months by a GENERAL and have turned down media requests. I say these things to let the newcomers here know it does get much better and it happens with little effort when you decide to move on with your life. It's good to read about so many successful stories since I was last here. Also have you BPD effected guys saw the BPD wife video "The Nail" or "It's not the Nail" ,I think? Man is it right on target for me.... REVITUP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 10, 2013 Author Share Posted November 10, 2013 Downtown posted the link on another thread so I was lazy and copied it here... Wow,I love this REVITUP Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted November 10, 2013 Share Posted November 10, 2013 Rev, that is so awesome that you are doing that. I am so very proud of you. Funny how you are able to do that because you know how to debate and get ganged up on due to stbx lol. Ohhhhh and MISS YOU!! Pls come back and write when you can. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WreckedDan Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Hey Rev! Man you have a lot on your plate! Kudos! I wonder about that break your therapist suggested... I found some of the best healing I did was when I could help others. It helped me to "speak my truth" for lack of a better term... I could have just kept posting my dreary crap for months, but when I would see someone behind me in the process it felt great to give others hope and direction, which in turn helped keep me moving forward... well, you know my story. Man it is great to see you doing so well. Been a few people on here I have really been able to focus with, you, Shocked Suzie, MisA, Debtman, LGW and a few amazing others I'm to tired to think of and too lazy to look for. Thanks to all of you! And grats! Dan 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 14, 2013 Author Share Posted November 14, 2013 Rev, that is so awesome that you are doing that. I am so very proud of you. Funny how you are able to do that because you know how to debate and get ganged up on due to stbx lol. Ohhhhh and MISS YOU!! Pls come back and write when you can. I miss MsA too.... I will be here more often now. It really did help to just turn off the help button. I have learned that I don't have to ALWAYS be helping or fixing some problem in order to be appreciated.I lost that feeling with STBXWW. It's good to be missed and even better to be back. REVITUP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 18, 2013 Author Share Posted November 18, 2013 A little update to bring this up to date... Tomorrow is the Court date to establish permanent Child Support to be paid by STBXWW- DD15 is with me in NC. DD15 had been getting and replying to STBXWW calls and texts for about a week now.... STBXWW had called CS and wanted to have her Temporary Order to pay $187.00 per month made permanent,CS called me and I said no- I want the court to set the amount.They agreed that this call from STBXWW was irregular. STBXWW called today (I do not talk with her at all) and said "I called to offer $200.oo per month because my hours may be cut back and support may drop when that happens (they don't bet on drops in the future earnings potential in CS Court) and that she will not be able to attend court tomorrow",she lives in SC now. Rev says "That's okay, it will be best to allow CS Court to establish the amount and that way it will be fair no matter if it does go down". This woman went crazy on REV! STBXWW says "You are a piece of work,no good,stupid and I am so happy I left you,I should have left years ago,I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life". Then the big one STBXWW says "You are a no good Son of a Bi#(H , I put you on a pedistal and I thought you were the smartest amn in the world and I thought you could do anything and now I know how stupid and ignorant and lazy you are". Now it's Rev's turn "I am happy for you,you have made a great decision,I am so happy you have found your place". STBXWW " You are a low life no good so and so and will amount to nothing,I hope DD15 never marries a man like you". REV "I would suggest you GOOGLE my name and see the happenings of late-DD15 is very proud and she is involved with my efforts,you may not see me as stupid after you see these things". STBXWW "I don't even want to talk to you,you SOB". REV "Please recall I did not call you today and I never call you,GOODBYE". DD15 who was trying through texts and calls to rekindle good feelings with her mother this week,went to her phone and called her,no answer.DD15 sends a very nasty text message and tells STBXWW not to send anymore BS texts and plan to go back to No Contact because of STBXWW calling her dad to start this garbage. I am writing this for two reasons,I want to have a record (it gets so crazy that you have to read it back later in order to believe it sometimes) and also for others to learn from the behaviors. I see an interesting pattern here and some interesting statements from STBXWW. 1.She is yelling her happiness at me on the phone! 2.She says this "I put you on a pedestal",but now "you're a no good SOB". 3.Timing is interesting for two reasons. The pedestal comment fits the BPD behavioral model of thinking. The (now I really know you are stupid and no good,after the REV on a pedestal theory for the 18 years she was supported by REV and she never had one responsibility financially nor a job) is exactly how BPDr's will see you after they are gone. The timing - STBXWW's mother would do STBXWW the same way as STBXWW is doing DD15.STBXWW's mom would call and send texts and emails just before any major holidays and or events, ie; Court dates,Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays. STBXWW is following a definite pattern that is exactly as her BPD mom did to her.It's sad. REVITUP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery2Me Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Hey Rev!! Congratulations all in all! Your and DD15's happiness continues to grow due to your resolve to no longer become caught up in the drama. This too shall pass and overall the support hurdle is just another step closer to the ultimate finishline of divorce. Keep on developing your individual passions and interests.....isn't it amazing to discover the just how much free energy we have after we stop giving it away to these fools. One more in the winners column for Rev and DD15....do ya thing Darling! ~Cheers, Mystery 3 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 What does DD15 stand for??? Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Maybe darling Daughter 1 Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 Donald Duck, 15 years old? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Darling Daughter, 15 years old. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 revitup: How did your court date go today? G 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 Court was one day early!!! They had wrong day (1 day off) and so did STBXWW, it wouldn't have mattered though. I agreed to a continuance of two weeks with the CS agent in order for the Agent to look further into the income of STBXWW.Her income and even job is very fishy. Anyway,it's all good.You see I know better than anyone how these things go in the BPDr's head.It's never going to go down the way you think when dealing with a BPDr,so expecting the unexpected is the only way to not be confused when the unexpected happens! It's good to be nearly a FREE man. REVITUP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author revitup Posted November 21, 2013 Author Share Posted November 21, 2013 Hey Rev!! Congratulations all in all! Your and DD15's happiness continues to grow due to your resolve to no longer become caught up in the drama. This too shall pass and overall the support hurdle is just another step closer to the ultimate finishline of divorce. Keep on developing your individual passions and interests.....isn't it amazing to discover the just how much free energy we have after we stop giving it away to these fools. One more in the winners column for Rev and DD15....do ya thing Darling! ~Cheers, Mystery Yes yes and more yes M2M, It is amazing how your mind seems to be your own again! These toxic people we have dealt with are so controlling and manipulative that sometimes you just forget who you are,at least I did. I am happy to be able to tell a joke or make a sarcastic snarling and edgy comment (that's me) and not cringe about the consequences!Sometimes I used to cringe when I made any remarks at all-doing so just opened me up to some kind of criticism,I just didn't know where or when it would come back on me. It is so good to be out of the mental jerk job and moving on with life.DD15 is also a much more confident and independent young lady now.DD15 is comfortable and it shows.We tell jokes and don't have to explain the punch lines anymore! I will say Algebra II is taking it's toll on both of us,last night I had to dig deep to get an answer about a screwdriver falling into a well and hearing the sound in 7.3 seconds while standing a the top of the well!!! Quadratic equations aside REV can figure anything out.Rev has figured out he is better off alone than tortured for the rest of his life. Good to be back, Happy Thanksgiving REVITUP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted November 22, 2013 Share Posted November 22, 2013 (edited) Just be glad she isn't having to learn the Pythagorean theorem yet. I've not used that one since I took Algebra in college, but I did win a radio contest once while it was still fresh on the brain. I do admit, I gave up on trying to help my son on Algebra since I was informed I had no idea what I was talking about. I couldn't re-create what his teacher did on the blackboard, but I could get to the right answer. This "show your work" thing has really gone too far in some cases in my opinion. I recall when my daughter turned 18....she knew math, algebra...etc, but the one thing they didn't teach her in high school was how to balance a checkbook, how to assess a good banking option on keeping a balance to avoid fees and not hitting ATM's that assessed fees (Good Grief, I had to teach that to my 40 year old friend who didn't understand why she had $50 in ATM fees every month!! She thought the bank was robbing her...umm, no, just go to a branch ATM instead of the most convenient one), or even how to get a good insurance quote...the essentials in life. Finance classes need to be as important as Algebra, Calc and Geometry in my opinion..they just get less emphasis and get little attention in Home Economics classes. Make sure you teach her that as well Rev, school's don't, it's an independence that only a parent can teach evidently. My dad taught me common sense (before the No Child Left Behind Act). Kid you not...I walked into my son's 3rd grade class when the "No Child Left Behind Act" went into effect in NC and he was sitting alone in a room with no supervision. I thought he was being reprimanded because everyone else was in the library on computers and he was doing a drawing at his desk. His teacher walked in right after I got there to pick him up for an appointment and I asked her what he did to be punished. She said he didn't do anything, he passed all his assessments and didn't need to go to the library. So I asked on what basis and what was the assessment, she said he was advanced and didn't need the extra help based on the No Child Left Behind Act....common sense, the lack of it still astounds me...even when it comes to educators, the state, political agendas and getting a real education. In the 6th grade, my son was expelled from school for "threatening" the Algebra teacher. He had learned that writing out his frustrations was better than acting out...so he wrote them out when his Algebra teacher told him (in front of the class) that he was stupid and didn't "get it"..and he wasn't trying. So, he was not allowed after school tutoring in a Magnet School and was ousted with the non-English speaking kids. I had been to that "Magnet" (aka, let's get the middle class kids to the poverty stricken school) a few times on complaints and had video pulled on one occasion. When they said he was expelled, I agreed and thanked them. I wouldn't allow him to go back there and immediately enrolled him in Private School. We also went before the School Attorney who told us that he could go back to the school and they had rescinded the expulsion. I let my son have a voice that day, I stepped back as a Mom, as a Parent and let him tell the school attorney his frustrations as a student. (There is a lot of "I's" in here because his father never participated as a parent, everything in the way of our kids, finances, home...etc were my sole responsibility.) Heck, I couldn't even play the "Wait til your father gets home" card. I am and always will be a single parent to both of my kids, and that is not perfection. For two years after my exH left, when I tried to "co-parent" my exH just told our son I was the bank and get material things from me because he just lived on love of his past life (and beer and pot). A 1st exH who suddenly (in his own convenience) wants to be a part of his DD's life after being, pretty much absent, for 18 years on his own accord (and also apologized for all the cheating but it's "water under the bridge" now)............................................ My 18 year old son still asks me why all of us old people do the ............................................ (dots). I tell him it's because we are older and are gathering our thoughts......not much unlike them coming up with excuses. (Umm, yah..so it's like this.....ummm....yeah) The fact is, once you do get the toxicity out of your life, you and your children are free to learn. Empathy has been one of the biggest learning experiences of my son's life...it's one he had to learn because his NPD/BPD or whatever his afflicted father never had to learn. Some people are more attuned and embedded in the things we care about....in other words, the world doesn't revolve around us, we just have a part. Edited November 22, 2013 by trippi1432 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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