LilGirlandOW Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Got a text at 4am scared the heck out of me thinking something was wrong with family or MM. Instead is was a distant old friend, who writes; "Hey just a heads up in case. My gf just caught me texting last night. Exploded on me. Thinks I'm cheating a ton. Wants my phone during the day today. Dont reply to this text and dont send me anything please. I'm just sending this in the off chance you'd message me." He obviously IS cheating (not with me, lol), this text made it hard for me to sleep after... I just imagined it was sent from MM to me.... then I imagined my friends AP..... how she must be feeling and just how many women got this message, as he and I never text or anything. Just venting of this strange situation... Link to post Share on other sites
TaintedLuv Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 That's weird since you guys don't text at all. I guess he is in damage control mode. So sad. So many relationships in the world with so much dysfunction and dishonesty and dissatisfaction. Really is sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 He probably sent that text to every woman in his phone. After DDay #2 xbf gave me his phone trying to prove he had "nothing to hide" thinking he was smart but there were, among MANY other things, outgoing texts similar to the one you described (deleted of course- he did not expect me to be able to read deleted texts) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hermione08 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Humans have decided it's a good idea (god knows why) to marry and that should be forever. It's not normal to be monogamous, it's not for everybody, so most people should just stay away from it (not marry and be single and sleep around) Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 His AP probably got the exact copy of the message I (distant friend got). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Humans have decided it's a good idea (god knows why) to marry and that should be forever. It's not normal to be monogamous, it's not for everybody, so most people should just stay away from it (not marry and be single and sleep around) I've read a lot about that topic, I think some people are wired for monogamy and some are definitely not. Unfortunately polyamorous behavior is regarded as weird and taboo, but cheating and secret affairs are more socially acceptable. Not that they are acceptable or good in any way in my opinion, but it just seems like someone who does want to sleep around is encouraged by media, rigid marriage laws, and society to do it in a dishonest way. That to me is totally different than someone who is in a marriage and is basically a monogamous person but chooses to cheat because they are confused or feel like they fell in love with someone else, that type of situation isn't what I'm talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Got a text at 4am scared the heck out of me thinking something was wrong with family or MM. Instead is was a distant old friend, who writes; "Hey just a heads up in case. My gf just caught me texting last night. Exploded on me. Thinks I'm cheating a ton. Wants my phone during the day today. Dont reply to this text and dont send me anything please. I'm just sending this in the off chance you'd message me." He obviously IS cheating (not with me, lol), this text made it hard for me to sleep after... I just imagined it was sent from MM to me.... then I imagined my friends AP..... how she must be feeling and just how many women got this message, as he and I never text or anything. Just venting of this strange situation... If you and he don't text anything he wouldn't want her to see, why on earth would he feel the need to text you to warn you not to text him? That makes no sense at all - to me anyway. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Now he wants her to see texts from women who are NOT his AP so he can claim, see? They are JUST FRIENDS! Gaslighting in the extreme. He is hiding his AP amongst all his other female friends as one by one they text back, hey, what's up? or, how've you been? Link to post Share on other sites
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I occasionally see references to this on threads, and have always wondered - how do you access deleted texts?? I know it will vary by provider and phone, but in your instance, how did you access them and what type of phone was it? I would love to know this if you would please share. Thanks! Iphone Well he gave me his phone and I didn't have any time constraints or have to snoop and do it in secret so that helped a lot. He gave me the phone and said, look I have nothing to hide, please go through it, I want you to so you will be able to trust me again. I said ok fine- can you run to the store and get xyz so that when you come back ill be done with it and we can just get over this. He left and I did a spotlight search on the phone, just typing in one letter like "e" that would pull up most deleted things. I saw everything I needed to see in a few minutes, took screenshots and texted them to myself from his phone-- but just to go a step further I did a restore from iCloud backup. I had to guess his password but it wasnt hard. The restore took a little while and I figured he would be home any minute so I left him a note saying I'd be right back. I got in my car and drove to starbucks and looked through everything. I took screenshots and texted myself with anything I wanted to be able to verify later so he couldn't try to lie about it. Then just to be a real jerk (and also to prove to myself beyond any doubt that he would just keep lying to me) I deleted all the screenshots from his phone an deleted the texts I had sent to myself, did another restore to make the phone back to how he gave it to me, went home and gave him back his phone and said thanks, I feel better now. He said dont worry, I am so sorry to put you in a position that you feel insecure- I hope you can start trusting me again I love you so much blah blah blah He thought he had fooled me. the next few days I would just ask him questions about different things, referring to the stuff I had found. He kept lying because he didnt think I had any way to know. He dug his own grave and proved to me I had to get away from him. Lies lies lies... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Iphone Well he gave me his phone and I didn't have any time constraints or have to snoop and do it in secret so that helped a lot. He gave me the phone and said, look I have nothing to hide, please go through it, I want you to so you will be able to trust me again. I said ok fine- can you run to the store and get xyz so that when you come back ill be done with it and we can just get over this. He left and I did a spotlight search on the phone, just typing in one letter like "e" that would pull up most deleted things. I saw everything I needed to see in a few minutes, took screenshots and texted them to myself from his phone-- but just to go a step further I did a restore from iCloud backup. I had to guess his password but it wasnt hard. The restore took a little while and I figured he would be home any minute so I left him a note saying I'd be right back. I got in my car and drove to starbucks and looked through everything. I took screenshots and texted myself with anything I wanted to be able to verify later so he couldn't try to lie about it. Then just to be a real jerk (and also to prove to myself beyond any doubt that he would just keep lying to me) I deleted all the screenshots from his phone an deleted the texts I had sent to myself, did another restore to make the phone back to how he gave it to me, went home and gave him back his phone and said thanks, I feel better now. He said dont worry, I am so sorry to put you in a position that you feel insecure- I hope you can start trusting me again I love you so much blah blah blah He thought he had fooled me. the next few days I would just ask him questions about different things, referring to the stuff I had found. He kept lying because he didnt think I had any way to know. He dug his own grave and proved to me I had to get away from him. Lies lies lies... You did the right thing. If it is one thing I cannot tolerate its a man who goes out of his way to convince you of his innocence by providing false "proof", knowing he is lying through his teeth. That type of person can never really be trusted! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Now he wants her to see texts from women who are NOT his AP so he can claim, see? They are JUST FRIENDS! Gaslighting in the extreme. He is hiding his AP amongst all his other female friends as one by one they text back, hey, what's up? or, how've you been? I thought he asked to NOT get replies. So when she started fishing no one would respond... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 SG, It makes no sense to me either! I never texted it back, lol. Got thinking, I wonder if it was for his AP and he accidently sent it to me, I found it funny he still had my number, as its been years since we chatted, no intimate or emotional history, just kinda grew up together, say hi when we bump into eachother every 10 yrs or so, lol. I just imagine the OW right now... yuk Link to post Share on other sites
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