"Its Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

[Revolver]

What are your thoughts in general on this common phrase, do you think it's true?

[hotpotato]

I disagree. Most of the time you have just wasted your time.

[thefooloftheyear]

I disagree. Most of the time you have just wasted your time.

 

 

Agreed....That's like saying its good to win the lottery, even though you lost the ticket on the way to pick up the check...

 

TFY

[hotpotato]

Agreed....That's like saying its good to win the lottery, even though you lost the ticket on the way to pick up the check...

 

TFY

 

Exactly. You would have been happier not having it in the first place.

[imfine]

It depends on if you're one of those rare people that can live in the present and look fondly on the memories after it's over. I personally don't like having my heart stomped so I would say heck no.

[hotpotato]

It depends on if you're one of those rare people that can live in the present and look fondly on the memories after it's over. I personally don't like having my heart stomped so I would say heck no.

 

In other words, you need to be a masochist.

 

Or a dumper who got the best years out of someone.

[Emilia]

I've met some incredible guys over the years with whom the relationship didn't work out. I'm still very glad that I know them and wouldn't change that for the world. The man I'm seeing currently is amazing, I would have missed out if we had never dated. It doesn't mean it will work out though but he is still a pretty rare find.

[Eve]

H'mm, yes I would agree with the saying - but historically moving on hasn't been emotionally hard for me.

 

Take care,

Eve x

[xxoo]

Sharing love is, to me, the greatest purpose in life. Nothing is permanent; loss is inevitable, through death if not before.

[Revolver]

Not at all... when you love and lost, you always want that same feeling again and are hung up on your ex. If you've never known love, you want it, and you are desperate for it, but you grow used to that feeling. Then again, I'm in a very good place right now, so maybe I'm too good of a mindset to answer this question.

 

But at least that person has experienced love and affection.

 

You can look back fondly on those memories. If you haven't you have nothing but just to wonder what it's like

[Revolver]

Agreed....That's like saying its good to win the lottery, even though you lost the ticket on the way to pick up the check...

 

TFY

 

 

A better example would be winning the lotto, having the money for a period of time(living the lifestyle)then going bankrupt.

 

For example there's lots of celebrities who go broke, but would any of them ever trade the moments/memories of when they were rich? Hell no

[imfine]

[in other words, you need to be a masochist.

 

Or a dumper who got the best years out of someone.]

 

Well there's an idea, but neither work for me. I prefer to proceed with caution, hazard lights, concrete barriers, razor wire, missles, etc. around my heart.

[hotpotato]

A better example would be winning the lotto, having the money for a period of time(living the lifestyle)then going bankrupt.

 

For example there's lots of celebrities who go broke, but would any of them ever trade the moments/memories of when they were rich? Hell no

 

At least with the money you have control. It wont just up and leave one day. Most of the time for people who are rich they can control their finances. Dont spend more than you have. Make wise investments. Save. Not going bankrupt as a rich person is simple.

[mea_M]

You know, I believe in most cases the love and loves we have in life are thrown our way to teach us something. I'm going with its better to have loved and lost. Because, even if we lost the person some kind of lesson was learned in most cases.

 

Mea:)

[Keenly]

I disagree with the cliche. Having love, and then going through the pain of losing it, is not better than never having it.

 

I liken it to : its better to have been addicted to heroin and then go through withdrawals than to have never tried heroin at all .

 

 

If you never try it, you will never know the pain of it.

[Maleficent]

Judging at how frustrated and misogynistic some of our 'still virgins and never had a girlfriend' are on here, I'm gonna say yes.

[thefooloftheyear]

At least with the money you have control. It wont just up and leave one day. Most of the time for people who are rich they can control their finances. Dont spend more than you have. Make wise investments. Save. Not going bankrupt as a rich person is simple.

 

Thats exactly what I was going to say...At least YOU had control of it...If you "lost" it, you had the euphoria of knowing you were rich and thinking of all the awesome things you would do-then it all fell apart when the ticket was gone...

 

TFY

[hotpotato]

But at least that person has experienced love and affection.

 

You can look back fondly on those memories. If you haven't you have nothing but just to wonder what it's like

 

Do you really need to date to experience love and affection and createcmemories with someone?

[thefooloftheyear]

Ill add this, too...Having a child makes you aware of what "real" love is. The type of love no stranger off the street can ever compare with..So, you then "devalue" the "so called" love of a SO..It nice, but Its just not on the same level and never will be..Its refreshing, actually..The kid(s) fill that need we all have. The rest is just icing, I suppose.

 

Thats why parents NEVER recover after the loss of a child. I dont care how many years go by..

 

TFY

[hotpotato]

Thats exactly what I was going to say...At least YOU had control of it...If you "lost" it, you had the euphoria of knowing you were rich and thinking of all the awesome things you would do-then it all fell apart when the ticket was gone...

 

TFY

 

Relationships are fickle and ending them is one sided. Its not the same as being rich and going bankrupt most likely because of your poor choices.

[Revolver]

Do you really need to date to experience love and affection and createcmemories with someone?

 

In general no, but We're talking about romantic love which is different. I've always been under the assumption that this was what that quote is about

Edited August 27, 2013 by Revolver

[Revolver]

Ill add this, too...Having a child makes you aware of what "real" love is. The type of love no stranger off the street can ever compare with..So, you then "devalue" the "so called" love of a SO..It nice, but Its just not on the same level and never will be..Its refreshing, actually..The kid(s) fill that need we all have. The rest is just icing, I suppose.

 

Thats why parents NEVER recover after the loss of a child. I dont care how many years go by..

 

TFY

 

You have a point.... if the love between a parent/child is the ultimate form of unconditional love, then the love in a romantic relationship is the ultimate form of conditional love:). This is also the reason people get angry when they can't find someone who's attracted to them. I mean a girl a guy likes saying he's handsome means way more then your mom saying it for those same reason.

 

"A face only a mother could love"

[hotpotato]

In general no, but We're talking about romantic love which is different. I've always been under the assumption that this was what that quote is about

 

Do you need to be in love to create romantic memories?

I huess what im getting at is, being in love is not required for romance. Love is not necessary for romantics or passion.

[KungFuJoe]

DEFINITELY better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

 

Life is all about experiences and memories. If you think about it, that's the ONLY thing that matters. Memories. It's the only thing we have that can't be taken away.

 

If you don't experience life, then what are you living for?

[acrosstheuniverse]

In general, I agree. I'd rather feel the breadth of human emotion if I need to experience the agony to also experience the ecstasy. They are both invigorating and life-affirming in their own ways. I lost my mother when I was 22; I just feel lucky enough to have had 22 years of her in my life because she was pretty damn amazing, even if I could somehow go back in time and be born to a different woman who didn't end up dying the way my mum did, and circumnavigate all of that pain, I just wouldn't.

 

My last relationship ended in such a way that it gave me pain I never even thought possible, though. Part of me wishes/wished I'd never met him in the first place, if I'd have known how it was going to end I wouldn't have began it I don't think, because absolutely nothing was worth going through that. But I accept that that experience is part of what makes me who I am, and that I'm a much stronger person now than before that happened, so I can't really bring myself to wish it'd never happened.