wife had a pa and I informed husband

[Mickey_Fitzpatrick]

Others bring up murder, rape, theft, etc as reasons to get involved. Yes! Those are reasons to get involved, but to meddle in the affairs of strangers to whom you have no personal relationship with is not.

 

Who gets to decide what are acceptable reasons to get involved?

 

I am thinking that this is a decision each of us makes for ourselves.

 

I don't think I would refer to the co-worker who works in the cubicle next to mine for at least a year as a "stranger."

 

My company has a dress code. For example, no flip flops. So, one day a woman wears flip flops. And can you guess what happened? Yes, another woman turned her in. Said why should she get to wear flip flops if I can't? Ms. Flip Flop didn't get fired over it. Usually, employees who are productive or highly skilled only get a warning. Even cheaters. That is my experience as a 52-year-old who has been working since I was 13. If your experience is different, good for you.

 

As for the cheaters getting fired, if you do stuff you're not supposed to do at work and someone else knows about it, they might tell on you. And then you might get in trouble. Or even fired. I knew that when I was 13. You can argue whether it is right or wrong, but it is a fact of life, same as cheating.

 

As for whether it is right or wrong, that is an argument you can have some fun with. And I can see you all are. There is religion, there are laws, there are policies at work, there are social norms, and then there are our own personal moral codes. I guess each of us is allowed to do what we individually believe is right and each of us has to live with the consequences of our own actions.

[JulyOne]

Even if the wife cheated on her husband, she couldn't have kept it secret forever.

 

You, as her co-worker, I don't think you should've said anything to her husband. You never want to be involved in a situation where you don't know the entire story and you don't know the parties involved and how they feel about each other. Maybe the wife and husband are both self-destructive.

 

I think you're better off quitting your job and never talking to these people again.

[Mickey_Fitzpatrick]

Even if the wife cheated on her husband, she couldn't have kept it secret forever.

 

Why not? Why couldn't she keep it secret forever? Do you think that it is impossible to keep an affair secret forever?

 

You never want to be involved in a situation where you don't know the entire story and you don't know the parties involved and how they feel about each other.

 

Why do you never want to be involved in such a situation where you don't know the entire story and you don't know the parties involved and how they feel about each other? Aren't you now opining, trying to influence the original poster, and thus getting involved in just such a situation about which you don't know the entire story, don't know the parties involved and how they feel about each other? As are we all who are posting on this thread?

 

I think you're better off quitting your job and never talking to these people again.

 

Why do you believe he is better off quitting his job? What is your reasoning?

[tru]

I know of a few companies who are no PDA work environment our company isn't one of them. However in our manuals of sexual harassing and employee dating in the work place it specifically prohibits interrelationships. However it also states that flirting is normal in the workplace. Therefore what constitutes an impropriety? It took a year of carefully accessing as to my own definition of sexual impropriety before I could present it to HR. Those pics on the vanity mirror where hung up outside of work, meeting each other at Chile's was also done outside as well it then became part of my definition that cheating must occur in the office if I was too have a leg to stand on. Hand shaking, hugs are condoned by the company. While kissing, fondling, and groping are exclusively prohibited. Anything done outside is Hearsay! Only thing that could be done was to watch and listen, during this time period others observed inappropriateness too. Remember HR can not act on the behalf of ppl who don't have physical proof it could be deemed malicious. If it hadn't of been for the camera my competence would've been called into question. It's for this reason that I didn't contact HR initially to do so prematurely might have been disastrous.

[Mickey_Fitzpatrick]

what constitutes an impropriety? It took a year of carefully accessing as to my own definition of sexual impropriety before I could present it to HR.

 

Have you been planning this out for a year?

[tru]

affairs that start in the office often end in the office pitting friend against friend, is a big reason why companies forbid it in the first place. Friends of him becomes enemies with her friends.