wife had a pa and I informed husband

[tru]

I told the ow this morning and she didn't believe me. "he's in the gym every night training" now I have a psychopath on me and two naive ppl who don't believe me. I'm sure that I've enabled the two lovers. But why in the face of so much proof such as call security ask them what time they go home. Call his gym! Ask around the office! Do something instead of just denying it! Do really think H enjoys sex with those pics in front of the bed staring at him. The emotional relationship between them must be nil. Imagine the conversation... How does he take the constant late night returns? What I don't understand is why he lets his wife's lover defend her while he says nothing? The wanna be mma guy has been posting on fb saying that she's a wonderful person and now her marriage is strengthened and that he's coming after me, but why is her husband so quiet. Sent him an email detailing every thing that I seen plus gave him my number.

Edited August 28, 2013 by tru

[Coolit]

Now the healthy thing is to let it go. If the man is threatening you get a restraining order. You are not in this. That is why many people stay OUT. You did what you could. The seed has been planted whether BW and BH admitted it. And you enabled nothing. They were alreading banging.

 

This is why evidence is important. People caught in a lie will just keep on lying. Even so, can't say it enough. Let it go.

[Artie Lang]

these people(BS) are a sad bunch.

[BetrayedH]

I agree with Coolit that you've given these people the truth (which was the right thing to do) and now you extricate yourself from it.

 

As another poster said, you may have at least planted a seed of doubt in the BSs minds and how they react is ultimately up to them. If one of the BSs contacts you, go ahead and answer questions as best you can. Keep in mind, a person is far more likely to believe their spouse instead of some stranger. It may take them both time to really put 2 and 2 together. The wayward husband also probably gave his wife some story about a guy making trouble at work to preempt your call to his wife. It's a common tactic. But again, that seed of doubt has been planted and your efforts today may save one of those BSs in the future. You did the right thing.

 

Now get on with your life. Sadly, that probably starts with documenting as many of these threats as you can.

[tru]

got called into hr this morning to talk about it and to give my side of the story. First she talked nervously then attacking me about all the problems that I caused in marriage then it was my turn and as soon as I started she and her lover left the hr office mad. Her husband was waiting outside the office sitting in a chair, she ordered him to leave right now and never talk to me anymore. The wife of the om slapped my face calling me an instigator so much for telling her the truth. Called the gym were the om trains he hasn't been there in 6 months. So no one is checking up on them as for coworker who is having the affair I called out to her husband to check with security since they have a log of every entry and departure. He just ignored me like I was evil, there are ppl here who were going to vouch for me about the lunchroom. One saw the two of them in the copy room and the om was rubbing her thighs and butt. But the H wouldn't listen. So will see what happens when the seeds begins to sprout. No I doubt they will be fired.

.

Edited August 28, 2013 by tru

[Chi townD]

How was the OM wife involved? I thought she was clueless? No one informed her yet!

 

Well, if she slapped you, don't take it personal. She just found out that her husband is a douche rocket and she needed someone to blame. Wouldn't surprise me if you get an apology at a later date.

[BetrayedH]

How was the OM wife involved? I thought she was clueless? No one informed her yet!

 

Well, if she slapped you, don't take it personal. She just found out that her husband is a douche rocket and she needed someone to blame. Wouldn't surprise me if you get an apology at a later date.

 

He told her (check a few posts back).

 

Yeah, you might get an apology later.

[tru]

called ow this morning number is in the directory. Told me it was all a lie that her H was training at an mma gym nearby. H doesn't drink in Chiles because he's training for a fight, ow is fat and H hates fat ppl. H has always been opened and honest in his marriage, would never jeopardize his marriage. The om doubts it too. his wife said in the hr room that she has mole on her body and when she asked her coworker /lover where her mole was he didn't even know therefore the story was false. Then when I started with my side of the story they both stormed out together.

[Chi townD]

Okay....what did HR have to say when you were done with your story?

 

Dude, if I were you, I would talk to a lawyer. If they get fired over this, they MAY try to file a civil suit against you. Although, they may not get far with it if you say you have people in your corner that would write statements confirming an inappropriate relationship was happening in the work center. And they'll have a harder time filing suit if they can't prove a wrongful termination.

 

But, I would talk to a lawyer.

 

Plus, if they lose their jobs, the BS's might start to believe you, because their work thought they had enough evidence to terminate their employment. So, maybe he wasn't lying......

[tru]

hr said that I maybe suffering ptsd symptoms stemming from my past relationship with a cheater. Hr is a psychologist and says that infidelity can cause ptsd. Therefore I was living vicariously through the om, don't think that they'll sue me cos I have to much **** on them. Here at work is an old guy who saw them in the copyroom together he's going to report to hr today... Plus a couple of women who are pissed off with her behavior at work they're talking hr today also... Appears that I wasn't the only one filled such hate... Hr will meet with us tomorrow as of now I have washed my hands of these ppl. Yes I've let it go.

[Realist3]

You sound obsessed with this beyond creepy. You are calling the guy's gym? You entered into something that is none of your business.

[Realist3]

I do plan on telling the ow however what happens if the ow denies it and blames me for starting trouble how do I tell her? Again I am not a person that can easily dismiss things it took a year to build up my courage it was not on a whim. Btw the girl from work never wanted her H until he bought a home I heard her blabbing to a coworker from her cubicle apparently her H is ugly.

 

Yep you are certainly obsessed.

[BetrayedH]

People that have been betrayed have a tendency to be a little sensitive about seeing other people betrayed. When you add in their lack of discretion, it appears he's not the only one that now finds it his business.

[wanting more]

Did you call OM BW before she slapped you or after? When and why did you call his gym? Why are you so involved in this? You told the BSs. That's what you wanted to do. I get that. I don't get what seems like obsessive/stalker like tendencies you're having.

 

Obviously the BSs dont believe you. Maybe in time they'll dig further and get their own answers. But I think if you don't back off, they'll be no point in you calling the cops because she slapped you, you'll already be dealing with her trying to get a RA against you for not leaving them alone.

 

you were all called in HR. is it because the APs went to HR to tell them what you're saying? Did they get called in and then brought you in because others were talking about what you're saying? Why were their BSs at the HR meeting?

[Betterthanthis13]

Did you call OM BW before she slapped you or after? When and why did you call his gym? Why are you so involved in this? You told the BSs. That's what you wanted to do. I get that. I don't get what seems like obsessive/stalker like tendencies you're having.

 

Obviously the BSs dont believe you. Maybe in time they'll dig further and get their own answers. But I think if you don't back off, they'll be no point in you calling the cops because she slapped you, you'll already be dealing with her trying to get a RA against you for not leaving them alone.

 

you were all called in HR. is it because the APs went to HR to tell them what you're saying? Did they get called in and then brought you in because others were talking about what you're saying? Why were their BSs at the HR meeting?

 

I have all these questions too- something is strange with this whole situation

[Spark1111]

Did you call OM BW before she slapped you or after? When and why did you call his gym? Why are you so involved in this? You told the BSs. That's what you wanted to do. I get that. I don't get what seems like obsessive/stalker like tendencies you're having.

 

Obviously the BSs dont believe you. Maybe in time they'll dig further and get their own answers. But I think if you don't back off, they'll be no point in you calling the cops because she slapped you, you'll already be dealing with her trying to get a RA against you for not leaving them alone.

 

you were all called in HR. is it because the APs went to HR to tell them what you're saying? Did they get called in and then brought you in because others were talking about what you're saying? Why were their BSs at the HR meeting?

 

She is being PERSECUTED FOLKS for telling the truth! Classic whistleblower behavior.

 

You tell the truth, get attacked, and now have to support your claim of truth....

 

Crazymaking for sure....

 

NEXT TIME ANYONE slaps you for telling the truth...even in HR where they may not know WTH they are doing or dealing with....CALL the police and sit there until they arrive. HR is a witness and it is called assault!

[wanting more]

She is being PERSECUTED FOLKS for telling the truth! Classic whistleblower behavior.

 

You tell the truth, get attacked, and now have to support your claim of truth....

 

Crazymaking for sure....

 

NEXT TIME ANYONE slaps you for telling the truth...even in HR where they may not know WTH they are doing or dealing with....CALL the police and sit there until they arrive. HR is a witness and it is called assault!

 

Well I thought EVERY BS wants to know if their h/w is cheating. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe she already does. Maybe she thinks it's none of TRUs business.

[tru]

guys I have walked away yes hr called me into the office, for meddling tomorrow I will find out if I am fired. I called his gym to prove a point that I am not lying! Om reminded me of what I went through my wife worked overtime on weekends was out with the girls so she said. When I would ask if I could pick up from the bar where she was at, her friends called me a stalker so I left it alone I trusted her completely. Truth was she had a bf I was the back up man. Told ppl that I was a bore a stone on a table, but to my face she said the opposite, just like om. Many people including my ex best friend knew that she was cheating on me but said nothing. Had I known I would have dumped her and spent my money on the things that I wanna do. Felt like I lost alot of time and I can't go back in time to change past. I'm ranting but I could have invested the time into some one else. I was the dinner bell when you're hungry come and eat then you go out with your bf. Need a place to stay hey stay here at my house. I told because my conscience got in the way of reason. However I am done because I did what I thought was right.

[LilGirlandOW]

You're missing any proof,,, you cant seem to convince anybody of your allegations.

 

Sounds like this office rumor triggered you to make some bad decisions. Hopefully all involved can move on from this.

 

So, the wife wasn't lying when she said the photo was of an MMA fighter, possibly she believes in his success, maybe he's an up-an-comer, with a handful of fights away from the big show.

 

There is a difference between doing the right thing and meddling, you should have gone to them with undeniable proof if you wanted to throw yourself into their drama.

[tru]

your telling me that it's normal to have 2 pics of a wanna be mma fighter on vanity mirror because she believes that he'll be famous. Doesn't it seem odd that while she and her husband are screwing the mma guy is staring at them? Are you sure that there isn't an ea going on?

[wanting more]

Tru knows more about this relationship than most people know about their family

 

 

Listens to her conversations, apparently ends up in the lunchroom while they're in there, listens to her talking to friends, just so happens to show up at chiles where she is with him, and watches them leave together, listens to her talking to her H on the phone, listens to her H talking to their coworkers (which by the way, if she and OM work together, and obviously her H goes to the workplace, wouldn't he have known the pics in their bedroom were of him???)

 

He told the H, H walked away, then emailed the H, then after thd HR meeting, tried to stop H by calling security (I think I read that right)

 

Did he (try) to call the OM BW after she slapped him or before?

 

And then try calls the OM gym?? Why??? If he (tru) knows whats going on, he knew OM was lying, why call???

 

He's been watching them for over a year!!

 

And now throwing in how in his last relationship he was referred to as a stalker, may say something.

 

I understood when he said he felt he had to tell. He just seems to know wayyyyy more than most people do.

 

Of they're do out on thd open at work, why was Tru called in?? I don't think meddling I'd against company policies. Why would tru get fired for that??? Something's off in this story

[LilGirlandOW]

It doesnt prove sex, or even romantic feelings for that matter. Offices are always gonna have affairs... for every actual affair theres probably 10-20 rumored affairs.

 

You really have no proof and you could have easily cause some serious consequences (divorce, suicides) with your meddling.

 

I hope you get help with your PTSD

[Betterthanthis13]

guys I have walked away yes hr called me into the office, for meddling tomorrow I will find out if I am fired. I called his gym to prove a point that I am not lying! Om reminded me of what I went through my wife worked overtime on weekends was out with the girls so she said. When I would ask if I could pick up from the bar where she was at, her friends called me a stalker so I left it alone I trusted her completely. Truth was she had a bf I was the back up man. Told ppl that I was a bore a stone on a table, but to my face she said the opposite, just like om. Many people including my ex best friend knew that she was cheating on me but said nothing. Had I known I would have dumped her and spent my money on the things that I wanna do. Felt like I lost alot of time and I can't go back in time to change past. I'm ranting but I could have invested the time into some one else. I was the dinner bell when you're hungry come and eat then you go out with your bf. Need a place to stay hey stay here at my house. I told because my conscience got in the way of reason. However I am done because I did what I thought was right.

 

Good luck tomorrow with HR.

 

Not that it matters now because what's done is done- but there are some things worth noting so that you can learn from them

 

If the office affair was blatant, and interrupting your work environment, the logical thing to do would have been to go to HR yourself and file a complaint when you were first bothered by it. The reason I mention this is because your behavior seems self destructive- you are in danger of losing your job because you found out two people at work were sleeping with each other? That isn't good. I'm all for telling the BS's, I have zero problem with you telling the truth but I am worried you are letting your own pain from your ex wife's betrayal cloud your judgement in how you have been going about things.

 

I can understand and relate to feeling extremely angry about seeing the injustice that was done to you done to others, and wanting to do something about it, but you really should do some introspection into why you are getting so involved here. Telling both BS's was technically an altruistic thing to do, but if you are playing something out with other peoples lives because you wish you could rewrite the past and even the score for the horrible things that were done to you is not good. Telling an uninformed BS is one thing, but you are in self destruct mode

 

The other thing is how you told them- it was impulsive- you thought about telling the first BS for over a year, but didnt gather any evidence or plan it out so you could do it with minimal drama? That type of behavior needs to be looked at and analyzed by you.

 

I really hope everything works out tomorrow at work. Keep us posted.

[tru]

this is the story we all eat together in the lunchroom its all done in front of your face. The town is small there are a handful of restaurants Chiles being one of the best and yes people gossip. The two love birds are constantly in her cubicle next to mine. She has a loud voice so I can hear everything that she says. For a year now I have been hearing more information than I thought was possible. The pics have been there for some time check my first post.

[Betterthanthis13]

this is the story we all eat together in the lunchroom its all done in front of your face. The town is small there are a handful of restaurants Chiles being one of the best and yes people gossip. The two love birds are constantly in her cubicle next to mine. She has a loud voice so I can hear everything that she says. For a year now I have been hearing more information than I thought was possible. The pics have been there for some time check my first post.

 

That had to be extremely difficult to listen to at work, under the circumstances it had to be maddening to witness an active affair while in your work cubicle. - I get it.

I don't think you did anything wrong. However, the way you went about doing it indicates that you are not thinking clearly and I'm worried about the damage you are doing to your own life because of these people