Bellamadre Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I've been dating the same guy on and off for 5 years. Off because he won't commit and I'd leave. He'd come back and say he is ready but turns out his actions don't match his words. So here is the deal. I was poking around on FB and saw that he has been flirting with this girl that lives in his country since May. He isn't American. I didn't say anything but simply observed because we are not friends on FB. I never asked for us to be and he never offered. Two weeks ago I looked on the girls FB page and my boyfriends picture was her profile picture. All her friends were congratulating her on her new man. My heart sank. We are long distance now for 9 months. I confronted him and he said he does not care what she thinks he is not her man. I was like well it says you are on FB. I am so humiliated and embarrassed by this. I just saw him two weeks ago and we were out with his friends. I told him he really hurt me. It hurts more because I asked to go with him to his country. Something we had been planning. But the last time I asked he snapped. I know why now. He still denies any relationship with the girl other than FB. I ended the relationship with him and he acted like he didn't want it to end, but did not even apologize or ask the girl to take down the picture. I closed my FB account because I don't want to be checking on them. He does not have any acknowledgement of this relationship on his page. It's all on hers, but it still does not feel right. Did I over react? I'm feeling sad... Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I think the bigger problem here is that you keep going back to the guy despite that he isn't committing to you. If a committed relationship is what you want, you won't find it here: drop the guy and find someone who treats you with respect. Never make someone a priority if all you are to them is an option. I think there is certainly more to the story about this guy and the other woman. There's not telling precisely what is going on... but do you really need to know all the details when the real issue is he won't commit to you? Drop him. Give yourself some time to recover. Then find someone who will mirror your level of commitment. I know it's easier said than done, but this guy hasn't delivered and I can feel the disappointment in your post. Good luck! Edited to add: NEVER take a guy at his word alone. As you indicated in OP, actions are what count. Read his actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AMusing Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Couldn't agree with nescafe more. You made the right decision to leave him, whether he was cheating or not (my bets would be on yes though); now make sure you make the "off" status permanent this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bellamadre Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 O thank you both for reaffirming my decision. I am giving myself time to heal and yes I'm sure is a man out there that will value me. He sure didn't. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Good for you! Let us know how it goes! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bellamadre Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 I will do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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