Creepy old man

[goodnbad]

Has anyone here ever had the creepy suspicion that a co-worker has a (not so)secret longing for you?

 

There is this guy at work who is probably close to retirement age (I am 39). Although he doesn't seem at all socially awkward with people there, he is probably what you would call a wallflower and not overly admired at work. I mean, people treat him on friendly terms but at arms length.

 

Lately, I'm getting the idea that he has some sort of 'facination' with me (for lack of a better word). Every single time I leave the parking lot in the evening after work, he just HAPPENS to pull out either right before or after me. I got into the habit of stopping at a nearby store to pick up the newspaper.....until I realized that HE was also starting to stop there too. Then he would always smile and say a quick and shy "hi". But for some reason, it just creeps me out. I feel like he's deliberately trying to get some contact.

 

He lives somewhere in a little village that I pass on my way home, and until this week, I don't believe he knew where I lived. However, after work, I was standing outside waiting for my childrens' bus and lo and behold, there he was, driving by. I saw him turn his head to check me out while going by, and my only thought, full of dread, was "Great, now he knows where I live." It makes me very uncomfortable in him knowing that, and now I make sure all my blinds are closed at night. Call me paranoid, but I have given some crazy thoughts to the idea that he could be looking in my windows while driving by.

 

I really don't know if he's just one of those desperately lonely guys just trying to be friendly at work and the other stuff is just coincidence or what. But his sudden appearances at places go to are giving me the willies.

 

I have started to avoid conversations with him where I can and have been much more professional (less casual, more cool) in any small talk we do make. I'm not even sure if this guy is married or what. I plan to speak with some of my co-workers and just casually ask them if they thought he gives them the creepies too (without mentioning my OWN situation). Not sure if it's just my overactive imagination or what.

 

Any advice for giving him the signal to politely p*ss off?

 

goodnbad

[bluechocolate]

Not me - but it does sound creepy. He doesn't work in the mail room, does he?

 

I feel like he's deliberately trying to get some contact.

 

He probably is.

 

I really don't know if he's just one of those desperately lonely guys just trying to be friendly at work

 

and he could be socially very awkward & easy to frighten.

 

But his sudden appearances at places go to are giving me the willies.

 

Maybe the next time you see him in a shop outside of work try saying, "Hey, what are you doing here? You're not following me or something, are 'ya?". If you said it only half jokingly you might give him the willies & he'll stop it immediately.

 

I have started to avoid conversations with him where I can and have been much more professional (less casual, more cool) in any small talk we do make.

 

A good idea.

 

Not sure if it's just my overactive imagination or what.

 

It could be, but always good to keep your head up. I don't know how large the place you live is, but so far his movements sound fairly routine. Go to a different store & see if he turns up there too & keep your eye out at home for his car. If it really does start to look like a pattern perhaps you should inform a supervisor or manager at work.

[goodnbad]

bluechocolate, thanks very much for the advice.

 

Yes, perhaps if I use the "you-aren't-following-me-are-you" routine, he just might get the hint. I have also been slipping as many comments about my own hubby into any conversations I have with him as I can without appearing too obvious about it, as a reminder that I am NOT available---and don't plan to be.

 

And no....hehehehe.....he does not work in the mailroom.

 

goodnbad