Getting hit on by elderly men

[salparadise]

Whatever. "Ageism" is actually judging people and what they should or should not, or can and cannot do - discriminating - based upon their age. Which is what you are doing here.

 

Bingo! This is just the age specific version of that tired old women's rant about being offended when guys they perceive themselves to be above try to talk to them. They get themselves all gussied up to attract men's attention and then somehow have the expectation that only the men they're attracted to will notice. People are people. Being older doesn't make anyone irrelevant.

[GorillaTheater]

while older women like yourself and me have been relegated to the "not sexy" department …

 

Pure gold, until this point. You are far, far too modest, Mme.

[Keenly]

Its a jealousy thing, plain and simple .

[Pompeii]

 

Whatever. Someone has to give young women a clue what they are up against. Or try. It's not like that many 'men' around here give a shyte about them. Not really... Your signature line kinda makes that clear.

 

It shouldn't be you, because you clearly have a warped sense of reality.

 

It's equivalent to the parent who feeds their kid McDonalds every day when there is free range chicken and vegetables out there.

Edited September 23, 2013 by Pompeii

[Anela]

So then you admit that its a personal jealousy issue between you and the women getting the attention?

 

Keep in mind women, that men who are well adjusted, can like women (not just for their ages) who aren't bitter and twisted, and who aren't looking to hurt women just because they have been hurt, can still choose to date a woman younger than they are. I know this might BLOW YOUR MIND but there are normal, kind, gentlemanly, sweet guys who find younger girls they connect with on a mental and emotional level that they then choose to date and then marry.

 

You can't have it both ways, you can not insist that the ONLY reason a man would date younger is because he is looking for a hot piece of tail, that's actually ridiculous.

 

Every time I see women complain about this thing its very obvious where it comes from, and its a jealousy issue. The women look around and see the men their age going after younger women and they get mad about it, so they put down the men AND the women because they are mad. If you really want to talk about accepting responsibility for your situation, look no further than inward, because you are blaming men and young women for you being single, when in reality, there is only one person to blame for that.

 

 

One thing I have always found hilarious about the female gender is how they scoff at men, regardless of age, hitting on them. They turn their noses up in the air, berate these men to their friends, complain about old guys, or too young guys, or creepy guys, or thuggish guys. But the second they stop getting that kind of attention, they genuinely feel sad that its not longer coming.

 

 

I didn't admit any such thing. I'm tired of being told that I should have put myself out there like something with a slowly-lowering sale price stuck on me, in my teens or twenties, because I can't expect any man that I might be attracted to, to want me in my thirties.

 

I don't scoff at men hitting on me, I scoff at cheaters and players. I've been very polite to most of those who hit on me, those who weren't attempting to cheat on my sister, or a friend of mine. Or weren't trying to assuage their ego, after being dumped.

 

Why are you doing your best to make me out to be some sort of bitter, deluded hag? I haven't said that all older man/younger woman pairings are sick. I don't give a damn if it makes the people involved happy, and they aren't trying to drag me into the equation somehow. I'm talking about my experiences with men my own age (I've had younger men hitting on me, from college age - even high school! - to a few who were two years younger than me, another four years younger, and so on). I have admitted elsewhere to my own insecurities, and don't need you trying to add more to my personal repertoire of issues; I've have a cruel, deluded sister for that.

[RedRobin]

It shouldn't be you, because you clearly have a warped sense of reality.

 

It's equivalent to the parent who feeds their kid McDonalds every day when there is free range chicken and vegetables out there.

 

Hard to take you seriously in this discussion with your signature line. You'd be the kind of guy I'd tell a young woman (or really, any woman... but especially a younger woman) to avoid.

[RedRobin]

The rub is how men deteremine women's worth vs their own EasyHeart. No one argued that young people were not attractive. Simply how men evaluate their worth vs women's and how they subsequently treat women for it.

 

... and with lots of men absent from mentoring roles, the vacuum gets filled by garbage from the media and elsewhere. Unfortunately.

[salparadise]

I don't know about the rest of your post, but this is the truth.

 

I am old. I am a woman, but I really don't divide humans into gender departments when I consider them. So, I probably have a somewhat personal reaction to the claims in this thread that old people should feel like ashamed sleazy pathetic losers if they dare to try to date younger people.

 

It is uncomfortably close to the idea that middle aged women are dried up nonsexual prunes who don't have any business trying to date anybody. I've read a LOT of that around here. Makes me sick.

 

I was not implying that the principle wouldn't apply if genders were reversed. It just seems to me (probably because I'm an older man) that it's typically a certain type of woman who fancies herself too hot for the average man, most men, or much less an older man. They disparage anyone who has the audacity to approach a woman obviously so far out of his league. These women are nothing more than legends in their own mind, a mind that hasn't contemplated how things may be a few years down the road.

 

Same applies if you reverse the genders. When I was younger I got hit on by older women, and I still do all the time on dating sites... but I am never rude and I never think that they should know better than to hit on such a marvelous specimen as myself. That doesn't mean I feel any obligation to date them if I'm not attracted, but I don't think of them as being beneath me. So I believe we are in agreement.

Edited September 23, 2013 by salparadise

[Leegh]

In some cases it has to do with brain changes as men age. There is some truth to the saying "dirty old man". I believe it is mostly in quite elderly men, over 80 and older. They really can't help it, as it is just a part of aging.

[PlumPrincess]

OK. One more thing and then I'll shut up for a while. Probably.

 

I was thinking about the example of Hugh Hefner as the kind of man that the young women need to be protected from.

 

Completely unrelated to this thread, I have always looked at Hugh and his babe du jour and thought: Oh my god, how can she get sexy with that old fart? I don't care how generous he is with his money and connections, or whether or not he has the best "personality" on earth. I could never."

 

So … I guess that makes me equivalent to all the bad mens out there who eschew nice old ladies in favor of a "young piece of flesh" (as one of the women here so ignobly labeled young women).

 

No way would I get close to that old fart!

I thought RedRobin, Disenchantedly Yours and you made good points even though you occupy contrary positions, but that post is not really true. You dismissed someone who is like 30 years older than you, that's not the same as an older man dismissing a woman his age.

[Pompeii]

Hard to take you seriously in this discussion with your signature line. You'd be the kind of guy I'd tell a young woman (or really, any woman... but especially a younger woman) to avoid.

 

It's also hard to take you seriously with your contradictory positions and outlandish generalizations.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if you told a woman to go for some "nice guy" who doesn't know a giraffe from a gyro.

Edited September 23, 2013 by Pompeii

[EasyHeart]

I think the point that some of us ladies are making is that we do infact that how men in society treat women, based on age, is infact a huge problem.

It's really not.

 

Attractive people get more interest from the opposite. It's really not any more complicated than that.

[Weezy1973]

I think the point that some of us ladies are making is that we do infact that how men in society treat women, based on age, is infact a huge problem. And yes, that *IS* hard to understand. It's hard to understand why men are not more invested and interested increating more healthy relationships between themselves and women instead of just seeing women as being as worthwhile as their age.

 

I believe the average age gap in marriages is approximately 3.5 years with the vast majority being in and around that range (assuming a bell curve). So apparently men as a whole are not discounting women due to their age as the vast majority are choosing to marry women that are quite close to their own age!

 

There are no men in my social circle that value women only because of their age. If you are finding an 'epidemic' of age obsessed men in your social circle, I suggest finding some new people to hang out with! Or move in the case of RedRobin (seriously! you seem to live in some sort of backwards town).

[RedRobin]

Or move in the case of RedRobin (seriously! you seem to live in some sort of backwards town).

 

Yes, I do (live in a backwards town/area). I'm making the process of moving and have been one-by-one pulling up stakes from this area that I've committed so much to.

 

The move has been slow because I need to make sure I'm not jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. It's not JUST about where I live, as this thread attests to. It's a mindset and culture, that well, has been illustrated ad nauseum by myself and others.

 

I do believe though, that being in an area where people are emotionally and physically healthy will equate to an atmosphere more like *I* describe... not the kind of atmosphere where much older people chase after much younger people just because they can.

 

Yea, I said it. I equate large age gap romantic relationships with dysfunction. And wherever you see a lot of them, then that area is just as dysfunctional.

[William]

Since this is moderation's second appearance here, this time to clean up some off-topic and inflammatory comments and responses, and noting the thread starter being largely absent in this continuing discussion which has little to do with their personal situation, thread closed.