Getting hit on by elderly men

[Keenly]

Guys have to look we are wired that way. If a girl has a certain breast/waist/hip ratio I am going to look it is that simple.

 

Also I only know of one guy who is middle aged and going for the 'hot young things' and he's the typical bought-a-Harley-at-50 guy. The rest of the 40-50 year old guys I know who are single are divorced, have their kids part of the time and want a woman who is of a similar age and in a similar place in life. So really you must just be picking out guys who are shallow or misreading them thinking the guy who just wants a fling is really after a relationship.

 

This is where they would insist that you need to change the behavior that they don't approve of.

They call it "taking responsibility"

 

I call it behavior control.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't sense a hatred of men from either of them when they speak. But each to their own I guess. It's funny, I could tell a lot about Disenchantedly before I met her in person from the way she talks. But everyone else seems to misinterpret and think she's talking about them and end up getting all offended. Narcissists.

 

It's either our interpretive skills or her communication skills. One of the two.

[Babolat]

It's either our interpretive skills or her communication skills. One of the two.

 

I agree that a lot of the translation can get lost in this electronic communication. I have wondered if RR was in front of me, would I feel the same about her, would she feel the same about me. I use to respect her opinions and comments. This thread has changed that.

 

I am considered the odd man in my circles because I am responsbile, I do think about my decisions, I do respect woman, I do not sleep around. As recent as last night I had a buddy ask me why I am not sleeping around, why am I single and not dating when there are sooo many opportunities out there. The 26 yr old that sat at my table, she made it very clear what her intent was, even grabbed my hands and started holding them. He gigged me for not going for it. She even said "if you are not going to entertain me I am leaving" I said "Goodbye".

 

RR, you are doing OLD to make friends? Really, yet you say "I suppose there is a possibility that one of them may lead to something more, but that would be a very distant chance." Then you are no different than anyone else on there given a mixed message. It's on, or it's off, right? You judge me for trying to make female friends, using them for emotional support? Really? Go look at your OLD profile again.

 

Am I going to stereotype you for saying that? No, it's your right, and I personally would not hold it against you as a potential dating partner.

 

Biologically men are wired a little differnt. But we can also exercise control, which I know I do. I could have slept with the 28 year old, I can probably sleep with the 29 year old, but I will not. Yet you love to toss me into your ALL men bucket.

 

Regarding age: My last four dating relationships, all were within 5 years of my age. I was curious about the 28 year old, curious, that's it.

[FitChick]

Just because someone wants a certain type of person doesn't mean the other person wants them back. So who cares who wants what? If you don't want them, let them know but in a nice way, i.e. "You are so funny/sweet/intelligent/caring. Too bad my mother has a boyfriend or I'd fix you two up on a blind date." Message delivered!

 

My aunt told me that when she turned 60 she didn't feel old. She felt the same as she always had. It wasn't until she turned 70 that she realized she was getting old. She recently said she gave up her parking space in front of her building to an "old lady" who was 80. My aunt is 'young at heart' with a lively, active mind and we get along great, more like sisters. Her body is becoming increasingly frail and she's had multiple surgeries. It breaks my heart to know I have a limited amount of time with her.

 

Contrast her with Jane Fonda who is the same age. Everyone ages differently depending on genetics and lifestyle. You have to take things on a case by case basis.

 

I would add a word of caution to older men pursuing or being pursued by women of child bearing age. There aren't many younger men who can afford to have kids so these women are looking for a baby daddy to pay for the next 18 years. I'd hope an older man would have had the sense to get a vasectomy long ago. Then have all the fun with young chicks you want.

Edited September 20, 2013 by FitChick

[RedRobin]

Keep in mind women, that men who are well adjusted, can like women (not just for their ages) who aren't bitter and twisted, and who aren't looking to hurt women just because they have been hurt, can still choose to date a woman younger than they are. I know this might BLOW YOUR MIND but there are normal, kind, gentlemanly, sweet guys who find younger girls they connect with on a mental and emotional level that they then choose to date and then marry..

 

No. These same men ARE bitter and twisted, but are just as blind to that as their own aging face/body in the mirror.

 

They seek younger women because aren't experienced enough to anticipate the outcome or sift through the BS of these same men who would (and do) suck the life out of them at their convenience.

 

it isn't jealousy. I don't envy younger women these days putting up with the ever growing crop of dirtbags who feel entitled to whatever they can get away with... as so exemplified in this thread.

 

As for the younger women... I'm here to warn them. These men don't have their interests at heart, as much as they are good at convincing them that they do. I don't really give a flying f*ck what happens to those guys. I don't want them either.

 

... and if they decide to go off with one of these guys anyway... well, she has no one to blame but herself. She's been warned at least.

[Pompeii]

It's either our interpretive skills or her communication skills. One of the two.

 

If everyone is "misinterpreting" what she says, then obviously it isn't the former.

 

What a trainwreck of a thread.

[RedRobin]

Biologically men are wired a little differnt. .

 

No, they aren't. They are socially conditioned and sanctioned to be able to get away with behavior that women aren't.

 

But isn't it nice to fall back on 'biology' when it's convenient, then pat your own back when you do what women have to do every day in choosing a proper partner? You know, exercise restraint and discretion???

 

If I envy anything, it is THAT. The freedom to do what you please (relationship-wise) as the mood suits, and suffer minimal consequences.

 

Edited: so, your 28 year old had a recent birthday. Congrats.

Edited September 20, 2013 by RedRobin

[Babolat]

No. These same men ARE bitter and twisted, but are just as blind to that as their own aging face/body in the mirror.

 

They seek younger women because aren't experienced enough to anticipate the outcome or sift through the BS of these same men who would (and do) suck the life out of them at their convenience.

 

it isn't jealousy. I don't envy younger women these days putting up with the ever growing crop of dirtbags who feel entitled to whatever they can get away with... as so exemplified in this thread.

 

As for the younger women... I'm here to warn them. These men don't have their interests at heart, as much as they are good at convincing them that they do. I don't really give a flying f*ck what happens to those guys. I don't want them either.

 

... and if they decide to go off with one of these guys anyway... well, she has no one to blame but herself. She's been warned at least.

 

Can you ever not say "No" and just respect someones opinion, and tell them taht?

 

Have you considered dating women..seems like a better fit for you..or have you discounted all of them, too?

 

Have you ever thought all of these men you have tossed aside without even meeting them, don't give a flying f&ck about you, either?

 

I can't wait for you to get into a LTR for 1) you will leave here and 2) The reality show will be so much fun to watch.

 

I am having fun, seriously though, you are definitley passionate about your opinions and beliefs, but, maybe consider not saying "No' and show a little respect for anothers opinion/view. After a while, it starts to sound the same and the level of respect for you just goes down. My guess is you are NOT this way in your social cirlcels and you are probably fun to hang out with.

 

And you make some excellent points about men. But, woman can make choices and decisions too to be with these men you describe. And like one OP said, we will all make some bad choices, that is how we GROW.

 

OP, having fun yet?

[Babolat]

No, they aren't. They are socially conditioned and sanctioned to be able to get away with behavior that women aren't.

 

But isn't it nice to fall back on 'biology' when it's convenient, then pat your own back when you do what women have to do every day in choosing a proper partner? You know, exercise restraint and discretion???

 

If I envy anything, it is THAT. The freedom to do what you please (relationship-wise) as the mood suits, and suffer minimal consequences.

 

Edited: so, your 28 year old had a recent birthday. Congrats.

 

I am not leaning back on the biology excuse. I never have. I think its a cop out for men to use. I am simply stating a fact, we are wired different. Open your pants, look down...see? Read all of your comments here, then the mens, see?

 

Get away with behavior? Are you kidding me? Wow, some of the behaviors I see out of women, usually the attention whores, that is "acceptable" drives me nuts. It goes both ways.

 

You act like men are strategic, like there is a plan. Not so for me, and yes, I am well aware of consequences.

 

Congrats? Shouln't that be Happy Birthday? I have not responded to your comments on these 2 woman on purpose..and you played right into my plan...Ha! +1 for Babolat! . The 28 year old did recently contacted me, to tell me she is now engaged, I wished her the best of luck. And encourgaed her to figure out why she let herself wander with me BEFORE she gets married.

 

OP, having fun yet?

[Keenly]

So now we are back to arguing about how people feel. You can't tell another person how they feel.

 

 

Also, if you are going to try to argue that men and women are not wired differently, then I refuse to have a conversation with you, because you are dismissing reality.

 

 

Sorry, men don't think like women, and no matter how much you kick and scream and yell that they should, they don't.

[StanMusial]

Too bad OP didn't name the thread "getting hit on by guys I don't like". Maybe 1or 2 pages of posts, tops.

[gaius]

I agree that a lot of the translation can get lost in this electronic communication. I have wondered if RR was in front of me, would I feel the same about her, would she feel the same about me. I use to respect her opinions and comments. This thread has changed that.

I bet in real life RedRobin would be fun to converse with and maybe a little shy. Doing more listening than talking. At least at first. You would probably feel bad for being harsh to her in the first 10 seconds of meeting. I think she uses the forum to dump a lot of opinions and frustration she doesn't often let out in real life, like a lot of us do.

 

Everything aside though I admire any woman who would let her male companion ramble on about atmospheric science or the Harvard Review. It's a good thing that didn't happen on the kayak date or she might have fallen asleep, overturned her boat and drowned in the process.

[Anela]

Guys have to look we are wired that way. If a girl has a certain breast/waist/hip ratio I am going to look it is that simple.

 

Also I only know of one guy who is middle aged and going for the 'hot young things' and he's the typical bought-a-Harley-at-50 guy. The rest of the 40-50 year old guys I know who are single are divorced, have their kids part of the time and want a woman who is of a similar age and in a similar place in life. So really you must just be picking out guys who are shallow or misreading them thinking the guy who just wants a fling is really after a relationship.

 

I haven't done that at all. I've rejected men looking for that. Cheaters, too. I haven't chosen any of them. How did you get that from what I've written?

[SincereOnlineGuy]

No, they aren't. They are socially conditioned and sanctioned to be able to get away with behavior that women aren't.

 

 

Then it's time for you to step-up and take some responsibility. You're in the majority on this planet, so it is you who is responsible for what you call "social conditioning".

 

... esp. that of men!

[SincereOnlineGuy]

men don't think like women,

 

 

 

Isn't Pinterest all of the evidence one needs (in order to convince somebody with any common sense, of same) ???

 

 

Somebody on this thread spoke of a train wreck...

 

 

well can you imagine going to the ballpark, and instead of batting averages, line-ups, pitching changes, and scores from around the league, the big matrix board instead listed:

 

 

"Here's what's new on PINTEREST!"

 

 

 

and they had a "7th inning quilting bee"

[SincereOnlineGuy]

men don't bear any responsibility

 

 

 

Maybe you are finally catching-on after all.

 

 

It is your society, as youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, and not 'men', are the representative of the majority party.

 

 

You probably cannot name a single male, especially a flawed one, who did not begin life with a female prominent in his new and immediate surroundings.

 

You did this, collectively, now "own it"!!

[William]

OK, and now we'll get back to the topic of one particular member getting 'hit on' by elderly men. Thanks.

[Anela]

Anela, I largely agree with your post until you said that a disturbing large number of men are "awful pigs". I would say that a disturbing large number of men do not know how to truly value women.

 

I usually don't say things like that, because I'm sure there are a number of good men out there; I've encountered them. I'm still disturbed by those who aren't. I just get annoyed when the apologists for the leerers come out. And as you can tell, I'm not impressed by certain other attitudes.

 

I'm sure a number of us women can be awful, too. I have my moments. I think anyone who has been here long enough, would know that I don't hate men - far from it.

[Revolver]

Then go after the guys you're interested in who are your age

[RedRobin]

Then it's time for you to step-up and take some responsibility. You're in the majority on this planet, so it is you who is responsible for what you call "social conditioning".

 

... esp. that of men!

 

I've done my part. It's time for men to do theirs... which includes taking a look at their own behaviors and how it diminishes them as men and fellow human beings.

 

Interestingly enough, some of the men here arguing against me have a pretty poor view of men. If I didn't believe that men were awesome and capable of more than what current society tells them (albeit, the few that I know and have observed over my lifetime), I wouldn't bother.

 

I'd just go settle for some alcoholic, violent, cheating, whatever and throw up my hands and say "but men are biologically wired to be this way. Nothing can be done about it."

 

But I don't. Because that neither does me nor them any favors.

 

OTOH, it sure is nice to have the biology fall back plan... and enjoy the culturally prescribed allowance for diddling with daughter or granddaughter age women when it suits them.

 

Older men hitting on much younger women... is a betrayal. Younger women need mentors... and yea, if they had no father figure, maybe someone they could trust like a father.

 

...not yet another guy chasing after her with a stiff d*ck.

 

Think about it.

 

I know it is tough. You'll have to admit that you've done it and make changes.

 

Changes are tough.

 

I guess the question would be, why would you care? I can't answer that for you guys.

 

... but if you don't care, there is at least one woman (me) who won't give you the time of day.

 

I'm betting I'm not the only one.

Edited September 21, 2013 by RedRobin

[Robert Z]

It's a pretty common thing. Older guys hitting on much younger women. I've experienced that since I was a teenager, and I still do. And I know men who do this, as well as women who are disgusted by it, who get hit on by dudes 20+ years older. These dudes are delusional, and sometimes try to increase their appeal by flaunting their toys, hoping that that is going to attract these women.

 

My cousin married a man twenty years older than her.

 

You are the one who is delusional if you think this unusual. Many women like older men. Deal with it.

[Robert Z]

When I was in my twenties, the woman who owned the Pauley Pavilion in los Angeles hit on me mercilessly. She was my friend's aunt Pauley and was probably in her 60s then.

 

I was flattered and amused, not offended.

Edited September 21, 2013 by Robert Z

[RedRobin]

I've said this before myself. Men could have so much positive influence on women and do a lot in giving women and young girls more tools to see who men really are if men were more interested in providing mentorship to young women and young men instead of simply evaluating her as a sex toy. I personally think male mentorship is a huge, huge thing that's very important for both young boys and girls. This would have so much more of a positive impact on all of us instead of men treating women like they are only as good as his next masturbation session. It's really sad that not more men are interested in actually being more mentors to help both young girls and young boys alike. Which would be an extremely more positive way to change society's negative views of men or the lack of male involvement in young people's lives. Which I think is sorely missing but young people desperately need that male energy and knowledge.

 

Agree with this 100%.

[RedRobin]

My cousin married a man twenty years older than her.

 

You are the one who is delusional if you think this unusual. Many women like older men. Deal with it.

 

they like your money.... and they don't value themselves enough to find any other occupation besides selling their body.

 

that isn't 'liking' older men.

 

It's called making a living.

[Revolver]

And that solves the problem about how men qualify women and their worth based on age how?

 

Hey, sure, I'm all for girls going after what they want. That's not the problem. The problem is you got men of all ages believing they are so much better and worthy then women of all ages because of defining us through our age either for our youth or are older age. How come it's so freaknig hard for you guys to even admit our culture is pretty crappy to women about aging and men certainly do their part in contributing to that?

 

 

She said that she's upset that older dudes are hitting on her. I'm assuming she wants men near her age, so I simply suggested she goes after the men who she wants who are near her age. I don't see what's wrong with that. I would give the same advice to a man with a similar complaint

 

Our culture has a bias against old people in general, it's not strictly a woman thing. As for men qualifying women on their ages, I don't really see that I see men qualifying women on their looks which is true. If a girl is pretty she'll get tons of men interested no matter the age. The same guys who think Kate upton is pretty(who's in her early 20's) will think Eva mendes is as well(who's over 40)