Which way forward!!!!!!

[confusedlady22]

I have posted here before and things havent gotten better, Sorry but this is going to be a long story, I was having an cyber /emotional affair with somebody, and the emails got a little out of hand.

We were chatting for about 6-7 months on and off and then we stopped.

I was emotionally attached to this guy, he said all the right things at the right times and it made me feel good and wanted.

I have been married for a bout 7 years but been with my husband for 20 years in total we have a little girl, aged 6 years old, after we lost our son a few years i had an awful miscarriage where i almost lost my life along with my son and since then things I feel have not been right between us.

My husband was extremely supportive throughout the whole ordeal but i could feel things were just not right.

We have not had an easy union, as he is quite forthright , and i am not. I tend to avoid confrontation and allow things to pass which i know is the course of where we are now but he lost his job a few years back then hasnt found anything really. I have always been the person the did most of the stuff as I was the one earning more but i never made him feel or mentioned this to him, i think over the years the resentment grew and i never addressed it.

Eventually a year back we moved b ack home , and have been staying with my dad, I started working with my dad almost immediately and my husband has been trying to start up a contracting business, he wanted to move back to be closer to his mother who was widowed years ago, he has this guilt surrounding the death of his dad, i feel his trying to make up for it by being closer to his mum. I have no problem with this as I am a firm believer of family but i feel I have always had to take a back seat. He never looked at me the way he used or did anything together and then when he initiated sex I was never interested as i feel i wasnt emotionally connected to him, but he was out alot , always had somewhere else he had to be , soccer , his mum, somewhere. We never did anything together and even when he was ho me he was sitting and watching sport on tv. Anyway he found my emails to this guy, and left and now we have been seperated for just over a month. Its been the worst roller coaster of emotions i have been going through in my life. But now i dont know which way forward. He is more angry and has a look of disgust. He has put in conditions on if he will take me back but its something i feel confused and lost. I dont know, i love him but i feel I am so lost on which direction to go. He says he will take me back only because of my daughter and nothing else. But i know i have done wrong , he doesnt want to go for therapy to make things right, I am the one in the wrong and he is not to blame for anything.

Help , i need some advice !!!!!!!!!!

[PegNosePete]

He has put in conditions on if he will take me back

What conditions?

 

He says he will take me back only because of my daughter and nothing else.

Don't settle for this. He must want you for YOU, not for your daughter.

 

he doesnt want to go for therapy to make things right, I am the one in the wrong and he is not to blame for anything.

If he doesn't want to fix the relationship then you have to respect his decision. You have betrayed his trust and he is understandably hurt. Don't try to force him to do anything, it's totally up to him. Make sure he knows that you accept full responsibility for your actions, don't try to blame shift at all. Don't beg or grovel, but make sure he knows you're prepared to do anything to fix it.

 

But if he has laid out conditions then it does suggest he wants to try again?