I Thought the 1st Date Went Well. . .

[GuysConfuseMe]

I have been talking to this guy for 3 months. We met on a non-dating related message board. We would IM and talk on the phone every so often and really got to know each other well. It was like a good friendship with potential to be more. There weren't any set rules as to who did the calling, just back and forth.

 

Often on weekends we would talk on the phone if neither of us had plans, but until last Saturday we had not met.

 

Saturday we decided at the spur of the moment to meet at a bar by his house. So we had a few drinks while watching football and I suggested we go back to his house to watch the next football game that was on.

 

We had a really good time talking, laughing and fooling around a bit. I told him I was not ready to have sex with him and he was understanding. He told me more than once that he "felt good around me." He also said things like "next time I see you. . ." It seemed like it clicked for us.

 

So by Tuesday, he hadn't called. So I called him on the advice of a guy friend. No return call. Last night I went out to dinner with some friends nearby and called him afterwards. He doesn't have an answering machine so I can't leave a message.

 

All I want to do is tell him I had a nice time. If he wants to go back to friends only and doesn't want to date anyone, that is fine. I just want closure.

 

Why do guys do this crap? More than the date, I just miss talking to him.

[Merin]

Hmmm.. wierd.

 

All I can assume is he was more into things before the two of you met.. he liked the "illusion" of who he imagined you to be...

 

You've already tried to phone him a couple of times, so unless he's bleeding, in the hospital or dead... IMO it's just rude that he hasn't returned your call or attempted to get in touch with you. At this point I would assume he isn't into you (on a romantic level) and is trying to avoid having to tell you that.

 

He doesn't have an answering machine.. but I'm sure he has email.. so with that said, IF you want to give it one more attempt to restore the friendship.. then email him and tell him you miss talking with him, and would like to remain friends...

 

Good Luck

[GuysConfuseMe]

Great minds think alike. I emailed him about half an hour ago and told him I had a nice time. I told him I knew I was breaking all the rules by calling and emailing, but I wanted him to know that I missed talking to him. I also told him that I didn't want the friendship we had developed to change. I told him I hoped I hadn't made a bad impression, because it seemed like things went well. I feel better after emailing him.

 

I don't know that I didn't meet the illusion he expected because he certainly acted like he was into me while I was there.

 

One cool thing happened though. I was venting over email with a married guy friend of mine. He said that it was this guy's loss because I was "a fun, smart, and dare I say hot, career woman." I thought that was a sweet thing to say.

[Merin]

Originally posted by GuysConfuseMe

Great minds think alike. I emailed him about half an hour ago and told him I had a nice time. I told him I knew I was breaking all the rules by calling and emailing, but I wanted him to know that I missed talking to him. I also told him that I didn't want the friendship we had developed to change. I told him I hoped I hadn't made a bad impression, because it seemed like things went well. I feel better after emailing him.

 

I don't know that I didn't meet the illusion he expected because he certainly acted like he was into me while I was there.

 

One cool thing happened though. I was venting over email with a married guy friend of mine. He said that it was this guy's loss because I was "a fun, smart, and dare I say hot, career woman." I thought that was a sweet thing to say.

 

Yay!

 

Believe your friend... it's the other guys loss.