scorpiochick Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 To start it off, i need to tell the whole story. Two years ago, i was pregnant by a deadbeat a**h*** who didn't want anything to do with his baby, so i started dating. i was with this guy for only one week, and we slept together once, well 3 months later, i ended up hooking up with his big brother...and we've been together since, and married for 2 months with another baby of ours, plus my son. Now my brother in law (the ex) and his wife lives with us, and this past weekend (my birthday) he came to pick me up to take me to a surprise party for me. the whole way there, he was talking about how i felt about my husband (his brother) and if i was going to leave him. and i told him that we do have rough patches, but i still want to make this marriage work. then as we parked, and i was taking my seatbelt off, he kissed me!! I pulled away, and i never kissed back at all. i actually kinda liked the flirtation, because it made me feel sexy again, but i did not like the forced physical part of it. well, i thought i did. and this whole past week, he's been sneaking up on me and groping me when nobody is around, and i've told him to stop it and that i won't do anything with him because 1. we are both married to different people, 2. i am married to his brother and i'm not a cheater, and 3. i gave birth to his neice. and he still won't get the hint. after that first night, i told him i wouldn't tell my husband about it, but today, his wife left him here ate the house and my husband is working, and i was in my room cleaning it and taking care of the baby and he (my brother in law) came into my room and started groping me and i'm not a very strong person and couldn't get him off of me. but i kept saying no no no, and the he pinned me to where i couldn't move, but i kicked him and got him off of me, then he kissed me again (i didn't kiss him back) and i told him to get out, several times. i need to tell my husband, but i don't know how to do it without him thinking that i cheated on him. and without causing chaos in the house. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Analyzer Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 I'm sure that would be odd to live in the same house together. I would suggest maybe you and your H moving out and finding a place of your own. Or maybe the others living there can find them another place to live. Not sure why you all are living under one roof, but if its a money thing, I still think something could be worked out. This man obviously has no respect for you by doing the things he is doing and he has none for his wife either. Get away from it and fast. Good luck. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Try to stop him and keep him off your borders. If he insisted then you have no option but to tell your husband. His system is reacting to the signals you are sending him. Don't ever send this guy mixed messages. If you still have mixed feelings about him (flirt & sexy gestures) then you need to work on yourself first. Get your system clear and clean from your past experiences. In short, you need to know where you stand between him and your husband. Simply put, you cannot have your cake and eat it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiochick Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 thank you, and i don't have mixed feelings, i don't want him to touch me. it was just the fact that he was the only one from my past who didn't come back for more. so it's more just a "Ha I told you so" type thing, and everytime we are left alone, i want to run and hide. i don't want to ba around him at all, he disgusts me, especially since he's doing this not only to me, but his niece and his brother. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugar_Cube Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 I agree, its one thing to have someone pawing at you just because, but its another when you're flirting or sending mixed signals etc. Thats just egging it on. Almost like a tease. I have a feeling though the best thing for you to do if you truly don't like what is going on, is to get away from it. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 May I ask why he didn't include anybody else with you in your " surprise party"?. Why did you accept it to yourself to be in that position if you don't have any feelings left for him? I Just find it hard to believe you are really sure of where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Hello, I think it is absolutely essential that you inform your husband now! This guy is totally disrespecting you and your husband. What kind of a slime brother is this guy. You are disrespecting and humiliating your husband by not telling him. The next time this guy just might rape you. It time to tell your husband and this guy's wife. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you expect your husband to tell you? Do the right thing and tell your husband now because he deserves to know and you know this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiochick Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 All of my other friends and family were there at the party, so, he came to get me and take me there. they told me it was a baby shower for a friend of mine, and i didn't feel like going. so he came to pick me up because my husband was working. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 There is still something missing here. For him to pick you up and kiss you while you were trying to unfasten your seat-belt is something to be thought about and considered. You need to think about what you were sending to this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiochick Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 as far as i see it, i am not sending him any signals, everytime he comes around i tell him to go away Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Hello again, The fact that he knows that he was able to kiss and touch you against your will and you never told your husband is a huge message to him that he can get away with it over and over again. I am sure he feels if you were really against this you would have told your husband. Tell your husband and it will stop. Do not tell your husband and it will continue. Your action of not telling your husband is a message to him that you welcome his advances even though you say you do not. Tell your husband now. This guy sees you as a piece of meat and sees his brother as an absolute fool. By not telling your husband you are tacitly agreeing. You know what you need to do so do it. I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 I know you are probably worried about ruining the family w/ this news but you must say something to your H. Not telling him is lying to him. He has every right to know, and if he ends up hating his brother for disrespecting both of you so be it. He is married to you. You come first b4 his brother. They maybe family but you and your H have a new life 2gether, w/ each other. You and his children come b4 other family. I know it's hard but you need to tell your H. I don't know the whole living situation but if you own this house w/ your H you need to kick your BIL and SIL out immediately. I don't think this is going to stop until you take some action. I am sorry you are dealing w/ this. GL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiochick Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 thank you so much for helping me out, i appreciate all of the help and good advice that you have given me. God bless Link to post Share on other sites
Author scorpiochick Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 hey everyone, i told him last night and he wasn't mad at me for it, and he's going to have a "talk" with his little brother this evening when he gets home. thanks for helping me out everyone and if you ever need anything, just let me know and i will be happy to help if i can. Link to post Share on other sites
StillHurtin Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 I am glad that he isn't mad at you. I hope your H can talk to his brother w/o any violence on either part b/c that wont solve anything. I think your H needs to calmly sit down w/ his brother and tell him he knows what is going on and that they need to move ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
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