Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Venting.. hopefully for the last time about this. While I won't get into specifics about my boyfriend.. know that I treated him very well, trusted when he gave me reason(s) not to, and gave everything when he didn't deserve it... It's amazing how sometimes you can see a person for who they really are, but close your eyes to things that you don't want to accept or believe about them.. in this case, I did both.. now I'm reaping the consequences to not doing the right thing in dumping his sorry butt a long time ago.. just the process of coming to the end and letting go. So with that said.. here is what I've learned... When someone tells you something that doesn't make sense (to be true) to you or anyone else you've asked, don't continue to try to "reason" it out... you're being lied to. When someone is constantly making accusations as to what you've been doing (without just cause) know that it is probably them who is doing what you've been accused of. When someone fails to keep thier word on a constant basis... don't make excuses for them, accept that they are not reliable. When someone tells you they will hurt you, kill you, damage you in any way (even saying it out of anger) know they are a FUBAR individual, and you should run. Blah! Okay... picking self up, dusting self off... and getting on with life minus the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiochick Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Good Job!!! I am happy that you have come into realization of what exactly he was. Link to post Share on other sites
honey2005 Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Oh Merin:( I'm sorry to hear this, but from the way you described things it sounds like you're better off without him:(. I think all you can do is take what you've learned from this experience and apply it to things to come. Good luck:(. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 Thanks you guys... Link to post Share on other sites
annadream Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 I feel your torment. my boyfriend isnt so much of a liar just simply a idiot.. it seems that the kinder you are to people and the more you do for them..or try to please them, the less they appreciate you.. your too good for him.. but he will crap once he sees you have had enough..they always do.. my bf used to needle me and do things that i honestly believe was to made me lose my temper..then when he did he would tell me i had an anger control problem... i mean the littlest things.. like i spent says making a grafix logo for his webpage.. instead of being surprised and think how thoughtful i was.. he complained about the lettering and how there were a few white dots on the edges and i ended up redoing it 3 times before he was happy with it... and i did this without him asking me to even make it in the first place...but its not just that... its so many other things... i get bad pms nd i found that he got to me around that time.. he convinced me that i needed to go to a dr so like a fool i go to the dr and tell him i have a real bad problem with mood swings.. (its odd though because i dont have an anger problem with anybody but him)... and get myself put on celexa.. my story gets way better but ill tell the rest another time.. oh well... lets "turn our wounds into wisdom" Link to post Share on other sites
jcweik Posted November 13, 2004 Share Posted November 13, 2004 Merin I'm sorry but is that your pic in the avatar? If so your hot Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by jcweik Merin I'm sorry but is that your pic in the avatar? If so your hot Yes thats me! Thanks.. made me feel a little better;) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 13, 2004 Author Share Posted November 13, 2004 Originally posted by annadream I feel your torment. my boyfriend isnt so much of a liar just simply a idiot.. it seems that the kinder you are to people and the more you do for them..or try to please them, the less they appreciate you.. your too good for him.. but he will crap once he sees you have had enough..they always do.. my bf used to needle me and do things that i honestly believe was to made me lose my temper..then when he did he would tell me i had an anger control problem... i mean the littlest things.. like i spent says making a grafix logo for his webpage.. instead of being surprised and think how thoughtful i was.. he complained about the lettering and how there were a few white dots on the edges and i ended up redoing it 3 times before he was happy with it... and i did this without him asking me to even make it in the first place...but its not just that... its so many other things... i get bad pms nd i found that he got to me around that time.. he convinced me that i needed to go to a dr so like a fool i go to the dr and tell him i have a real bad problem with mood swings.. (its odd though because i dont have an anger problem with anybody but him)... and get myself put on celexa.. my story gets way better but ill tell the rest another time.. oh well... lets "turn our wounds into wisdom" You know the only medication I would have agreed to take in my relationship is perhaps halcion! LOL nothing like having zero recollection of an idiot! Blah! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Merin I am sorry to hear this in one way and in another I am happy because you have realized it was time to let go of excess lugagge!!!!!!!!! Maybe it's hard to have it all sink in, but in the end all the pain and anger etc is worth it!!! GIRL THIS CAN ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Merin I am sorry to hear this in one way and in another I am happy because you have realized it was time to let go of excess lugagge!!!!!!!!! Maybe it's hard to have it all sink in, but in the end all the pain and anger etc is worth it!!! GIRL THIS CAN ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Naive.. he really is an idiot.. and he knows it's his loss. He was still trying to manipulate to the end.. telling me what he thinks I want to hear.. but goes to show it isn't about what you SAY it's about what you DO. So I'm going out tonite with my friends.. a few drinks and I'll be okay It will make me stronger, (not the drinks ha!) but yeah.. just the experience. Thanks again Gf... Link to post Share on other sites
Weird Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by jcweik Merin I'm sorry but is that your pic in the avatar? If so your hot Yeah she is the Loveshack hotty. Link to post Share on other sites
krbshappy71 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 I married one, YAY ME! Divorced him. He's quite entertaining as an ex though, lotsa drama in his life when things catch up with his lies. *grin* Link to post Share on other sites
DESI Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 My ex also lied to me constantly, yes oddly enough the one that I miss deeply. I have also learned all of your points in your first post, another one that I have noticed is if a guy keep saying the same thing over and over again, or like you said asks you if you are doing something over and over again chances are they are doing it themselves. My ex used to go on about honesty how important it was to him, I caught him in so many lies, My ex before that said cheating was uncalled for and he was so against it, well he cheated on me. Just be aware. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Okay, I've just come from dinner at a friends house - good Lord it's 4am!! - & I'm in no fit state to blah-di-blah about anything - so I won't. Maybe in the other am (I have this horrible feeling I agreed to meet someone for coffee in the morning) !! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate Okay, I've just come from dinner at a friends house - good Lord it's 4am!! - & I'm in no fit state to blah-di-blah about anything - so I won't. Maybe in the other am (I have this horrible feeling I agreed to meet someone for coffee in the morning) !! Crap! it's 3 a.m for me.. just got home.. drinks got to love em uh? Thanks anyway Blue, ya know I loves ya! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by krbshappy71 I married one, YAY ME! Divorced him. He's quite entertaining as an ex though, lotsa drama in his life when things catch up with his lies. *grin* DRAMA... isn't it fun? Thanks though krbs... drinks drinks so good Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by Weird Yeah she is the Loveshack hotty. Weird... lol thanks! 3 a.m. drinks... feeling a bit better? Blah! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by DESI My ex also lied to me constantly, yes oddly enough the one that I miss deeply. I have also learned all of your points in your first post, another one that I have noticed is if a guy keep saying the same thing over and over again, or like you said asks you if you are doing something over and over again chances are they are doing it themselves. My ex used to go on about honesty how important it was to him, I caught him in so many lies, My ex before that said cheating was uncalled for and he was so against it, well he cheated on me. Just be aware. Honesty... It's funny when I think about it.. as he would also go on and on about how honesty was the most important thing.. truth was everything... and I told him on more than one occasion that truth was all important to him, as long as it was SOMEONE ELSE telling it.. He also liked to tell me if I ever cheated on him, or if he ever suspected I was cheating on him he would kill me... aahhh how romantic >>> And I'll share with you one of his other favourite motto's... "All a man has in this life time is his balls, and his word" Good God! His word(s) mean nothing, damn could wipe your a** with them for all they were worth.. and his balls... hmmm.. well honestly if you're to lame to tell the truth and have a need to control the woman in your life, then pssshhhh IMO you have no backbone or balls... Thanks for your post Desi Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Dated one, married her, currently divorcing her lying ass. We've been separated a year and I still catch her in inconsistencies, attempts at manipulation, blatant hypocrisy, etc. That in the midst of her supposed efforts to "change her ways." Link to post Share on other sites
clayrains Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Where do you live Merin2? I'd probably go out with you if you happen to live close to North-Central Missouri! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by clayrains Where do you live Merin2? I'd probably go out with you if you happen to live close to North-Central Missouri! Thanks! Unfortunatly, I don't live any where near Missouri... damn! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 Dated one, married her, currently divorcing her lying ass. We've been separated a year and I still catch her in inconsistencies, attempts at manipulation, blatant hypocrisy, etc. That in the midst of her supposed efforts to "change her ways." Aren't these kind of people amazing?! Blah! Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 honey, I think I could write a book about your first post. I hadn't dated a liar until the last guy in about 12 years so I almost forgot what one looked like. He said things like "I want this to be an honest relationship. I want communication." kiss my ass my lying sack of ****. I remembered asking "what do you mean" about hte honesty part because for me it was understood. I was being honest. I guess he was probably talking to himself out loud. Of course he wasn't remotely an honest person so i guess liars have to remind themselves of these things. Just know that there are plenty of guys out there that aren't remotely that f**'ed up. I just wish that the liars would be tatooed with a scarlet L and have to date each other to leave the good guys out of the drama. But they do reap what they sow. Eventually... Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 married one, divorced him and now he's marrying someone else! i'm just glad it's not my turn any more to try to keep track of which version or which story he told to which friends.... now i just need to keep my kids from thinking it's ok to ummmm stretch the truth until it doesn't even resemble anything that happened. unfortunately, they've already come to recognize their dad's "version" of reality as being warped. so for all of you that realized what a mess they were and got rid of them before you had kids that would get subjected to all the drama.... congrats!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 15, 2004 Author Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by daphne honey, I think I could write a book about your first post. I hadn't dated a liar until the last guy in about 12 years so I almost forgot what one looked like. He said things like "I want this to be an honest relationship. I want communication." kiss my ass my lying sack of ****. I remembered asking "what do you mean" about hte honesty part because for me it was understood. I was being honest. I guess he was probably talking to himself out loud. Of course he wasn't remotely an honest person so i guess liars have to remind themselves of these things. Just know that there are plenty of guys out there that aren't remotely that f**'ed up. I just wish that the liars would be tatooed with a scarlet L and have to date each other to leave the good guys out of the drama. But they do reap what they sow. Eventually... Thanks for your post Daphne... I hope he does reap it, the jackass! blah! Link to post Share on other sites
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