angbez33 Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 I was the idiot in my relationship this past weekend. My bf broke up with me and seeing how strong you have been to get away from something that was hurting you gives me strenght to think I can change. I have never acted so horribly to a boyfriend (i didnt cheat but he saw me do things i never do) I hope your bf can feel as bad as I do and realize he has to change. Just like I believe i cant ever act like i did this weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Neither of us were a part of the "in" crowd in school, didn't date much until later in adulthood, etc. Looking back, it does not seem so significant now, but at the time it was a life & death issue. And that being an impressionable age in life, events & experiences mold you, like it or not. How true is that eh? I know, that was me growing up as well. I know those younger days things like that were the 'be all and end all' of life! Now looking back at it I think it was kinda silly, but fitting at the time I guess. Maybe now, being in my 30's, (33 not THAT old yet lol!) comes security, more self confidence, acceptance and peace. Merin, always remember you are a very kind person with a warm soul. Don't let him ruin you, leave you with insecuries or self doubt. If you are feeling too low about yourself then think about seeing a therapist to help you gain some self confidence back. It's horrible how in some relationships (my EX, the GDMFASOABWFMU) end badly we are left with these emotional scars...We internalize the pain, over think why this and why that...If only I had done this or that to make it better! The kicker here is, WE didn't do anything wrong, it was THEM and their own personal issues that somehow they dumped on us to make US feel bad about ourselves. Looking back I do understand more that NONE of it was me, it was just the way he was. Just a shame that I had to suffer the heartache and pain that you are now going through. Hang in there baby, it will be better soon!! WWIU Link to post Share on other sites
jamwinswim Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 M, Ma Cherie, dont dwell on the negatives, and the past. Thinking about those things over and over is like walking into a wall....walking into it again....and then again just to get through it. Just take two steps right, and the door is open. Point is, if you keep dwelling on all those negative feelings, and things from the past (that are set in stone), you're gonna be in this flunk for a long time. I agree with everyone else - he's an azz, but we shouldn't focus on that. You should be focussing on yourself, and what makes you feel good about yourself, Miss Merin2, not this guy's "girl". The future is filled with opportunity, its an exciting time. As one door closes, another one opens. What I loved reading about in here (this post) is how some people, married, over 30 (oh so old) are telling it how it is - how it seems like when we are younger it seems like the be all and end all. Well Im 22, and what I went thru did seem like the end of the world, but now I start to see clearly (and probably long into the future too), I will probably laugh and chuckle about what I went through. But the pain was real, and the difficult part is the moving on, and letting go essentially. We are your support group. We are here to be b*tched at, we are your ears that your words will fall on. Embrace this, complain when you have to, cry when you need to, and vent when you want. Don't fight it, because once all the bad "karma" is gone, you'll find you'll have nothing left to be upset about, and you'll be able to walk away. The past is done. I still get upset about soccer results in the past, but I cant change them! I try and look to the future for the potential happiness - and thats the exciting part. You never really know what is just around the corner...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S Oh, you're too kind! But I think you're very sweet too! Actually, self-image is something we've both had issues with, & sometimes still do. Neither of us were a part of the "in" crowd in school, didn't date much until later in adulthood, etc. Looking back, it does not seem so significant now, but at the time it was a life & death issue. And that being an impressionable age in life, events & experiences mold you, like it or not. The funny thing is, my wife had never really thought of herself as being attractive. Seeing photos of her in high school & college, I believe I would have been dumb-struck actually meeting her, thinking "she's so cute, she'd never be interested in me." When I first met her, I assumed she had a boyfriend, & found it quite hard to believe or understand when I learned otherwise. But apparently until our paths crossed, men never told her she was pretty, or sweet, or warm, or anything else. There is a Sammy Kershaw song called "She Don't Know She's Beautiful" that I believe the writer had Gina in mind when he penned it. In a love relationship, one of a partner's most important duties is to affirm & reaffirm the other. Not to diminish, not to try to control. Evidently, your nimrod of an ex does not understand, or will not understand what a love relationship is, or what it means to be in one. You deserve much better than that! Once again.. I'm inspired.. Thank you Scott Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by whichwayisup Neither of us were a part of the "in" crowd in school, didn't date much until later in adulthood, etc. Looking back, it does not seem so significant now, but at the time it was a life & death issue. And that being an impressionable age in life, events & experiences mold you, like it or not. How true is that eh? I know, that was me growing up as well. I know those younger days things like that were the 'be all and end all' of life! Now looking back at it I think it was kinda silly, but fitting at the time I guess. Maybe now, being in my 30's, (33 not THAT old yet lol!) comes security, more self confidence, acceptance and peace. Merin, always remember you are a very kind person with a warm soul. Don't let him ruin you, leave you with insecuries or self doubt. If you are feeling too low about yourself then think about seeing a therapist to help you gain some self confidence back. It's horrible how in some relationships (my EX, the GDMFASOABWFMU) end badly we are left with these emotional scars...We internalize the pain, over think why this and why that...If only I had done this or that to make it better! The kicker here is, WE didn't do anything wrong, it was THEM and their own personal issues that somehow they dumped on us to make US feel bad about ourselves. Looking back I do understand more that NONE of it was me, it was just the way he was. Just a shame that I had to suffer the heartache and pain that you are now going through. Hang in there baby, it will be better soon!! WWIU WWIU.. I love ya sista! I think about that "sweet" little term allllll of the time>>GDMFASOABWFMU!! I'm doing okay.. I know this wasn't my "flaw" or "issue" not that I don't have them... ssshhhhh! LOL However, thankfully being a GDMFASOABWFMU isn't one of those flaws or issues in my character;) Thank you sweetie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by jamwinswim M, Ma Cherie, dont dwell on the negatives, and the past. Thinking about those things over and over is like walking into a wall....walking into it again....and then again just to get through it. Just take two steps right, and the door is open. Point is, if you keep dwelling on all those negative feelings, and things from the past (that are set in stone), you're gonna be in this flunk for a long time. I agree with everyone else - he's an azz, but we shouldn't focus on that. You should be focussing on yourself, and what makes you feel good about yourself, Miss Merin2, not this guy's "girl". The future is filled with opportunity, its an exciting time. As one door closes, another one opens. What I loved reading about in here (this post) is how some people, married, over 30 (oh so old) are telling it how it is - how it seems like when we are younger it seems like the be all and end all. Well Im 22, and what I went thru did seem like the end of the world, but now I start to see clearly (and probably long into the future too), I will probably laugh and chuckle about what I went through. But the pain was real, and the difficult part is the moving on, and letting go essentially. We are your support group. We are here to be b*tched at, we are your ears that your words will fall on. Embrace this, complain when you have to, cry when you need to, and vent when you want. Don't fight it, because once all the bad "karma" is gone, you'll find you'll have nothing left to be upset about, and you'll be able to walk away. The past is done. I still get upset about soccer results in the past, but I cant change them! I try and look to the future for the potential happiness - and thats the exciting part. You never really know what is just around the corner...... J.. Thank you for continuing to support me through all and I mean ALL of my madness! You still know exactly what I think of your EX.. she's an idiot! And I'm so proud of you for hangin in there and seeing the good in things in spite of it all. BTW J.. What are you wearing? You know i've still got on that tight shirt that says "Get You Some!" (Sorry everyone else.. inside joke!) Thank you a million times over J for being such an amazing person and making me laugh till my stomach hurt over all of this sh*t! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by angbez33 I was the idiot in my relationship this past weekend. My bf broke up with me and seeing how strong you have been to get away from something that was hurting you gives me strenght to think I can change. I have never acted so horribly to a boyfriend (i didnt cheat but he saw me do things i never do) I hope your bf can feel as bad as I do and realize he has to change. Just like I believe i cant ever act like i did this weekend. Thanks Angbez... Change is NEVER easy.. but keep in mind, sometimes it is so necessary and so worth while. Link to post Share on other sites
jamwinswim Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 my tee-shirt says "Git Er Dun"..... got to love Kentucky. No thanks needed M, you know Im here for ya. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by jamwinswim my tee-shirt says "Git Er Dun"..... got to love Kentucky. No thanks needed M, you know Im here for ya. I loves ya J! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by jamwinswim my tee-shirt says "Git Er Dun"..... got to love Kentucky. Mine reads "Accountants Do It On The Balance Sheets" Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 WWIU.. I love ya sista! I think about that "sweet" little term allllll of the time>>GDMFASOABWFMU!! Is that a sweet term?! It looked to me like something that would get one into a barroom brawl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S Is that a sweet term?! It looked to me like something that would get one into a barroom brawl. Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 .. You know i've still got on that tight shirt that says "Get You Some!" Hmmm. I would have guessed they read "Victoria's Secret"! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 17, 2004 Author Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S Hmmm. I would have guessed they read "Victoria's Secret"! Damn, I do love that store! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 Damn, I do love that store! Any why does that not surprise me? You should have been the cover-girl on the catalogue! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S Any why does that not surprise me? You should have been the cover-girl on the catalogue! You're so nice Scott Thank You! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Merin you have to give us an update!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Is that a sweet term?! It looked to me like something that would get one into a barroom brawl. Well if ya wanna know what that stands for PM Merin2 or me and we'll let ya in the on barroom brawlin' secret baby! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by whichwayisup Is that a sweet term?! It looked to me like something that would get one into a barroom brawl. Well if ya wanna know what that stands for PM Merin2 or me and we'll let ya in the on barroom brawlin' secret baby! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by naive_2001 Merin you have to give us an update!!! Heres the update... He text messages me about 10x a day.. emailed me a messed up letter stating that he was so sorry.. that he really loves me.. and that HIS lying is somehow ALL my fault.. but because he's such a "great guy" he is somehow "willing" to overlook the fact that I MAKE HIM LIE, and although I ended things, he is "willing" to take me back. << You better know! << Makes me sick everytime I think of all the sh*t he did and said looking out for himself! Bllllaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 He text messages me about 10x a day.. emailed me a messed up letter stating that he was so sorry.. that he really loves me.. and that HIS lying is somehow ALL my fault.. but because he's such a "great guy" he is somehow "willing" to overlook the fact that I MAKE HIM LIE, and although I ended things, he is "willing" to take me back. Golly gee, what a stand-up guy! I would imagine his ears are burned off the sides of his skull by now!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 HIS lying is somehow ALL my fault Yeah...How F**ked is THAT? Hmm, maybe he needs some serious therapy and a good boot to the ass as well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Merin Posted November 18, 2004 Author Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by Scott S Golly gee, what a stand-up guy! I would imagine his ears are burned off the sides of his skull by now!! Exactly! Isn't he a "Gem" ?!? I can just sit back and think to myself how "Lucky" I was to have had this idiot in my life lying to me.. how it really is my fault that he lies constantly.. I just bring that amazing, admirable quality out in him.. Yes, exactly what I always wanted in guy, but was to afraid to ask for.. I think the anger in me is taking over at this point Scott.. and it's a good thing for me to have. The more I think about the situation and Him, I just feel more P ssed! Aaagggghhhh!!!!!! G Damn Sh*t and blah! Link to post Share on other sites
Scott S Posted November 18, 2004 Share Posted November 18, 2004 Originally posted by Merin2 I think the anger in me is taking over at this point Scott.. and it's a good thing for me to have. The more I think about the situation and Him, I just feel more P ssed! Aaagggghhhh!!!!!! G Damn Sh*t and blah! So on your way home tonight, you'll stop by the Health Club, change into your lycra sports bra & bike shorts, don the gloves & spend several hours pummeling the speed-bag into submission. Link to post Share on other sites
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