3 chances (you'll understand why)

[rockstatuz89]

ok so me and my girl has been in a relationship for 6 months bout to be 7 in a couple of days. basically they way we started was off to a good start but she has these emotional stage where when shes upset whatever is in her mind she blurts it out. now she told me this before we got together and i said i can handle it, now im not so sure. in the 4th month she thought i was cheating which is bull because i would never do that to her but now also shes in job corp now in new jersey and i well both of us live in new york. she apologized and all but that will be stuck in my head.oh to put it out there were both 24 and shes a virgin and im not but i never forced her or tell her we should have sex. but anyways its gotten worse in the 4th month that i said we should take a break for a while like she focus on job corp and me trying to get into the navy. she didnt want that so we tried to work it out. that was my first try. the second one was on the fifth month where this time she said we should take a break. i didnt fight for it cause i told her if i said it last month n u saying it now that means something but still we worked it out. now its the sixth month and she said it again this time she keeps saying each time i dont show her much attention i talk to her everyday n the time shes able to visit i cancel everything to spend the time with her and make sure her day was great before she goes back to new jersey so when she said it this time she was being serious. now from my side i have no job no money but i do everything i can for her and she said she didnt care about that stuff. i asked her are u sure and she said yes i asked her im being patient with you when you said you was gonna try to control your emotional stage while you said you was gonna be patient with me showing more attention to you. she said she was tired of waiting so to me that was over. but then the next day her grandmother passed away and two days later she wanted to talk to me. she said shes sorry for hurting me and going back n forth with this on and off thing and she basically opened her eyes as she said and noticed life is too short n u should care about the little things ur partner does for you and she wanted to start the relationship again. i thought about it and now were back together again. the thing i wanna know is should i have given her this third chance or no?

[rockstatuz89]

one other thing she said. she said that she seen her mistakes n said she was gonna put her all if i give her a chance again. n if she messes up again we can end it n i could do watever i want after that

[Roadkill007]

first of all, that was a really tough read.

 

secondly, the whole "if I make another mistake, you can do whatever you want" thing isn't really that healthy. There will always be mistakes from both sides in a relationship... whether the relationship works out or doesn't has more to do with how both sides deal with problems that arise, than the couple being paranoid about making mistakes in the relationship. If you started your relationship up again on that premise, I don't think there's much hope for the future. Even more so because it seems you yourself are questioning whether it was a good decision or not.

[rockstatuz89]

yea i know like i was talking about it to my family and friends and they was like she trying not to be alone because her grandmother past and shes a church going person as in faithful to the lord and everything and i have no disrespect for that but i got back together cause once we chilled again i couldnt stop looking at her and maybe thats my curse cause i love her and she loves me but i dont wanna be in a relationship again if she thinks she doesn't wanna be alone like idk if its that or if shes finally realizing what she haves with me

[Roadkill007]

yea, it's normal to hope that when you're in a serious relationship with someone, that they're there because they want to be with you.... not because they don't want to be alone. Well, since you've already agreed to giving it a try, just keep an eye out and see whether she's appreciating the smaller things in your relationship that she might have glossed over earlier. Chances are though, that she'll probably return to her old ways. I hope, if that happens, that you'll have the strength to free yourself from this cycle. Good luck.

[rockstatuz89]

thanks and i hope i do have the strength for that