A look at dating in a time past. The actual love notes of Richard and Pat Nixon.

[Mrlonelyone]

Richard Nixon - Pat Nixon Courtship Letters - Richard Nixon Foundation

 

Check these things out.

 

Immagine what writing a letter like this to someone you weren't currently dating would result in now.

 

Dearest Heart

 

As I look out the window at the clouds with the sun trying to break through, I am thinking of how much you have meant to me the past two years.

 

Do you remember that funny guy who asked you to go to a 20-30 ladies night just about two years ago? Well – you know that though he still may be funny – he’s changed since then. But you may not know – dear one – that he still gets the same thrill when you say you’ll go someplace with him – that he did when you said one time that he could take you for a ride in his car!

 

And did you know that he still looks out the window toward wherever you are and sends you the best he has in love, admiration, respect, and “best of luck”?

 

And when the wind blows and the rains fall and the sun shines through the clouds (as it is now) he still resolves, as he did then, that nothing so fine ever happened to him or anyone else as falling in love with Thee – my dearest heart –

 

Love,

 

Dick

 

Ah those were the days. A time when Tricky Dick could be honest about liking a woman and get her. These days the last thing one wants to do is tell their intended that they plainly and simply like much less love them.

[Els]

Adorable.

 

The bf actually used to write love notes to his ex, when they were in high school; they weren't really allowed to talk much in school, so they had to slip notes around (very conservative country). I'm sure they mustn't have been as eloquent as Dick's (given that he was all of 14 then), but that was a mere 10+ years ago, so the concept certainly isn't dead yet.

 

I'm actually a little jealous that I didn't get that stuff, but dem's the perils of dating in college when voice communication is so accessible...

[todreaminblue]

i wrote poetry to my ex i would make a joke of it...he knew i was just throwing off..........the poetry was very similar.......i dont think writing letters or poetry to soemone you love should ever die....i think it needs to be bought back to be a normal activity.......instead of texts.......its a beautiful way to let soemone know how you feel.......its a forgotten art...but not to me ever it woudl be a shame if i ever ended up with anyone who wouldnt take my poetry or letters....i think that would cut pretty deep it is how i express things i cannot say the words that get stuck in my throat often come out in what i write................i have never had it happen yet so ....touch wood....wish me luck...deb

[Mrlonelyone]

Yeah but you two are 100% women. No man would ever throw a fit about getting a love poem from a woman even if he wasnt' interested. Even I have had a boyfriend who used to serenade me in high school.

 

Just look at all the threads about game playing in dating at all points right up to marriage. We have here a love letter to a woman he hasn't seen in a couple years. Do that now and you'll get accused of harassment and nuclear rejected. This is the Era of Nuclear Rejections * Hooking Up Smart

 

 

Now a days we have shallow little text and depth is a liability.

[Mrlonelyone]

Awkwardness and Bawdy Talk: 7 Tales of Presidential Courtship | Mental Floss

 

 

Richard Nixon’s Strange Chauffeur Service

 

 

Nixon was never exactly a ladies man. When he proposed to his future wife Pat on their first date, she thought he was nuts. But that didn’t deter him. Instead, Nixon offered to be her driver on her dates with other men. He also inundated her with mushy love letters, referring to himself in the third person and to Pat as “thee.” One line read, “When the wind blows and the rains fall and the sun shines through the clouds (as it is now) he still resolves. . . that nothing so fine ever happened to him or anyone else as falling in love with Thee -- my dearest heart.”

 

 

Pat’s replies were a little more succinct. She wrote back, “In case I don't see you before, why don't you come early Wednesday and I'll see if I can burn a hamburger for you." But despite her apparent lack of interest, Pat eventually came around and let Nixon drive her on more dates - this time with himself.

[Els]

Yeah but you two are 100% women. No man would ever throw a fit about getting a love poem from a woman even if he wasnt' interested. Even I have had a boyfriend who used to serenade me in high school.

 

Just look at all the threads about game playing in dating at all points right up to marriage. We have here a love letter to a woman he hasn't seen in a couple years. Do that now and you'll get accused of harassment and nuclear rejected. This is the Era of Nuclear Rejections * Hooking Up Smart

 

 

Now a days we have shallow little text and depth is a liability.

 

No, you got my post wrong - my bf wrote love notes to an ex of his in HS, who, I'm fairly sure, was a woman (or girl, given her age then).

 

I honestly think you've either been very unlucky or are going after the wrong women.

[Mr_Flay]

A million light years away from that Weiner scandal. Ha, that could actually be a good topic for a thesis in comparative literature. Courtship in High Politics: from poetic love letters to sending pics of one's penis. A sign of the times.

Edited August 29, 2013 by Mr_Flay

[Mrlonelyone]

No, you got my post wrong - my bf wrote love notes to an ex of his in HS, who, I'm fairly sure, was a woman (or girl, given her age then).

 

I honestly think you've either been very unlucky or are going after the wrong women.

 

 

 

A little of both. The last woman I wrote a love note like that to didn't freak. But it has happened to me in the past.

 

 

It feels like I am made for a past time, where like all the presidents in that last link of mine a man could simply persist in liking a woman and it was OK. Now a days if a man likes a woman and she's not 100% into him right away or is unsure and changing her mind about him he's just supposed to shut it off and move on. That's not my way.

[Els]

There are women who desire the romance and courtship of olden times too, OP, not just the swagger of new-age game players. The bf's courtship of me was fairly old-fashioned too in that sense, although we did use modern technology to aid us.

 

Take heart.

[Mrlonelyone]

There are women who desire the romance and courtship of olden times too, OP, not just the swagger of new-age game players. The bf's courtship of me was fairly old-fashioned too in that sense, although we did use modern technology to aid us.

 

Take heart.

 

 

I have none left to take. Right now I just like to give my hard earned wisdom of just how bad things can be to others in hopes they can avoid it.

 

 

Elswyth. Women only want what you describe from men they are somewhat sure about on an emotional and physical level.

 

 

The problem many men have with women these days is that it's no longer OK to even try it with a woman who isn't interested. Back then it was just flattery now it's harassment. I don't mean in the technical sense....those ugly terms are just thrown around so freely now.

Edited August 29, 2013 by Mrlonelyone

[Els]

I have none left to take. Right now I just like to give my hard earned wisdom of just how bad things can be to others in hopes they can avoid it.

 

 

Elswyth. Women only want what you describe from men they are somewhat sure about on an emotional and physical level.

 

 

The problem many men have with women these days is that it's no longer OK to even try it with a woman who isn't interested. Back then it was just flattery now it's harassment. I don't mean in the technical sense....those ugly terms are just thrown around so freely now.

 

I'm fairly sure that Nixon didn't disseminate love letters to hundreds of women in a shotgun approach regardless of level of emotional connection, yes? In either case, it is probably a good idea to actually BE in the courtship phase before you write/say such stuff, IMO. Which means that you two have interacted extensively before and she is showing appreciation for your pursuit, and which means not baring your heart in that manner to any sally or lucy who happens across your path. Obviously, anyone would be weirded out by a man they barely know writing such a letter to them - I'm sure the same would hold in Nixon's day too.

 

The shotgun/cold approach is more of a modern invention IMO. I also doubt that men of old wrote many love letters to women who weren't interested; or at least, not without consequence. I mean, she could sic her dad on you!

 

Edit: Ah, okay, I read your OP again and understand where the misunderstanding probably came from. You're thinking of 'courtship' as a phase prior to dating. That is untrue, at least in the time of Nixon's youth (which I reckon to be in the 1920s or 1930s, yes?). 'Courtship' WAS dating, and lasted all the way til marriage. In fact, it's probably more 'serious' than dating, as most men didn't court more than one lady at a time, and sometimes societal/parental permission had to be obtained prior to even initiating the courtship. So he was writing to a lady whom he was essentially already 'dating' and had probably given him permission to court her. Not a lady who 'wasn't interested'.

Edited August 29, 2013 by Elswyth

[Mrlonelyone]

I'm fairly sure that Nixon didn't disseminate love letters to hundreds of women in a shotgun approach regardless of level of emotional connection, yes? In either case, it is probably a good idea to actually BE in the courtship phase before you write/say such stuff, IMO.

 

 

Elswyth, Richard and Patricia were not even dating when he wrote the letter I pasted. In fact he was driving her to and from dates with other men. It makes me think he was playing those guys. Using them for a meal and having sex with Nixon.

 

 

 

Which means that you two have interacted extensively before and she is showing appreciation for your pursuit, and which means not baring your heart in that manner to any sally or lucy who happens across your path. Obviously, anyone would be weirded out by a man they barely know writing such a letter to them - I'm sure the same would hold in Nixon's day too.

 

The shotgun/cold approach is more of a modern invention IMO. I also doubt that men of old wrote many love letters to women who weren't interested; or at least, not without consequence. I mean, she could sic her dad on you!

 

 

I haven't been shotgunning letters out. When I did send out such messages they were to people I knew for a while.

[Els]

Uh, in that case, no, don't do that. Usually not a great idea to write those letters to people who are in relationships with other people.

[StanMusial]

A million light years away from that Weiner scandal. Ha, that could actually be a good topic for a thesis in comparative literature. Courtship in High Politics: from poetic love letters to sending pics of one's penis. A sign of the times.

 

Just think what things may be like in 50 years. People will reminisce about the good old days when guys would text naked pictures to their romantic interests.

[Mrlonelyone]

!

 

Edit: Ah, okay, I read your OP again and understand where the misunderstanding probably came from. You're thinking of 'courtship' as a phase prior to dating. That is untrue, at least in the time of Nixon's youth (which I reckon to be in the 1920s or 1930s, yes?). 'Courtship' WAS dating, and lasted all the way til marriage. In fact, it's probably more 'serious' than dating, as most men didn't court more than one lady at a time, and sometimes societal/parental permission had to be obtained prior to even initiating the courtship. So he was writing to a lady whom he was essentially already 'dating' and had probably given him permission to court her. Not a lady who 'wasn't interested'.

 

 

 

Given the traditional gender roles courtship, for the man begins well before dating the woman. It begins with flirting and building attraction and gagugeing the womans responses .... then asking for that first date. It continues into dating.

 

 

Think about it. How do you end up dating in the first place? If you adhere strictly to traditional gender roles the man approaches.

 

 

That and the woman sends out signals that she's open to an approach.

[Els]

Given the traditional gender roles courtship, for the man begins well before dating the woman. It begins with flirting and building attraction and gagugeing the womans responses .... then asking for that first date. It continues into dating.

 

 

Think about it. How do you end up dating in the first place? If you adhere strictly to traditional gender roles the man approaches.

 

 

That and the woman sends out signals that she's open to an approach.

 

 

Okay, responding solely to this, since I don't actually know much about Nixon except his nationality and year of birth...

 

IMO courtship is more of a 'dance' than hot pursuit by a predator. Yes, you do initiate, but not with something as heavy as a swoony love letter. Then you watch how she responds. Even in the 'traditional' context, the woman should reciprocate.

 

I don't think that holding back a little out of delicacy and not wanting to overwhelm someone is 'playing games' - it's really just social adeptness, and applicable to any sort of social situation.

[tbf]

Isn't this a classic example of how to get out of the friendzone?

[SoleMate]

If Dick Nixon were alive today and on LS, would he be writing endless whiny posts about how he'd been "chauffeur-zoned" by Pat?

[GorillaTheater]

Is anyone else a bit creeped out by the thought of an amorous Nixon?

[clia]

The problem many men have with women these days is that it's no longer OK to even try it with a woman who isn't interested. Back then it was just flattery now it's harassment. I don't mean in the technical sense....those ugly terms are just thrown around so freely now.

 

But Pat was interested in him. In her letters, she’s inviting him to call her, inviting him to come visit her, asking him if she’ll see him, mentioning seeing him again, etc. If he was sending all these letters and she wasn’t responding or was telling him to go away, that would be different. While she may not have wanted to settle down and date only him during this time period, she clearly seemed to like him, and gave him all the indications that he should continue to write her and pursue her. This is not a situation where he was harassing her or making unwanted advances.

 

Elswyth, Richard and Patricia were not even dating when he wrote the letter I pasted. In fact he was driving her to and from dates with other men. It makes me think he was playing those guys. Using them for a meal and having sex with Nixon.

 

Are you kidding me? What proof do you even have that Nixon and Pat were having sex during this time? It’s highly unlikely that this is what was happening. She was multi-dating and not committed to any of them – very common back then. Nixon was courting her and doing everything he could do to win her over – obviously with success.

[Mrlonelyone]

Uh, in that case, no, don't do that. Usually not a great idea to write those letters to people who are in relationships with other people.

 

In those days going on a date did not mean one was instantly in a relationship.

[Mrlonelyone]

But Pat was interested in him. In her letters, she’s inviting him to call her, inviting him to come visit her, asking him if she’ll see him, mentioning seeing him again, etc. If he was sending all these letters and she wasn’t responding or was telling him to go away, that would be different. While she may not have wanted to settle down and date only him during this time period, she clearly seemed to like him, and gave him all the indications that he should continue to write her and pursue her. This is not a situation where he was harassing her or making unwanted advances.

 

 

 

Are you kidding me? What proof do you even have that Nixon and Pat were having sex during this time? It’s highly unlikely that this is what was happening. She was multi-dating and not committed to any of them – very common back then. Nixon was courting her and doing everything he could do to win her over – obviously with success.

 

Common sense. I mean if people then are anything like people now a man writing passionate love letters is getting at least some contact if not full on intercourse.

 

In those days there was no such thing as online dating. Multidating was the norm. People dated more than one person having many many dates and not deciding to be exclusive with someone until they had dated a variety of people.

 

The instarelationship wasn't a popular move back then.

[FitChick]

That was a little surprising, coming from Nixon. Well, everyone agreed he was a strange man. Wasn't he from a Quaker family? I like Pat's sense of humor -- "...burn a hamburger for you."

 

No one can beat the Ronald and Nancy Reagan love story. Talk about soulmates.

[Robert Z]

Is anyone else a bit creeped out by the thought of an amorous Nixon?

 

How do you think he got the name, "Tricky Dick"?