T-Mama Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 My story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t25...t=death+threats I still am not over the situation....everyone says to move on, but the threats still hang over my head...HE doesn't forgive me for telling HER....SHE has never responded to me/forgiven me...HE has recently reminded me that he can still ruin me. Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 I tried the link to your story, but couldn't find it, can you copy and paste? It sounds very interesting. I was soooo close to telling my MM's wife, but she did her own work, FINALLY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author T-Mama Posted November 14, 2004 Author Share Posted November 14, 2004 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t25431/ (hope this link works.....it shows follow-up answers, etc.) I Was "The Other Woman" Post: 1 | Quote: Back in December of 2000 I met G.A.D. @ work and I immediately felt a deep attraction to him. He didn't hesitate to let me know that he was attracted to me in the same way. Over the course of 3 weeks, we flirted, emailed each other & I gave him my #....then he told me about K.S.S. (his girlfriend). I didn't back away from the situation as I should've and we ended up establishing a (mostly) sexual relationship that lasted almost 2 years. I had an emotional interest in him, but although he'd initially made comments to me that lead me to believe that we would eventually have a "real" relationship, that never happened...he later just said I shouldn't have any expectations & he periodically reminded me that our "relationship" had boundaries. He remained with his girfriend & I remained in the background...basically just waiting for his phone calls and emails inviting me over to his place or letting me know he was coming by to see me for a couple of hours. I thought I loved the guy....and he told me he loved me....but it was just a love that existed in our little secret world. I kept myself in that situation until I met my present boyfriend. I suppose as much as I wanted to be in his life in a genuine sense, I was willing to settle for just being "the other woman" just to hang onto him. For a few months, G continued to ask me to meet him for secret rendezvous, but I always declined. I was finally in a healthy, happy relationship (which he'd always said he'd really wanted for me to find) and I didn't want to mess that up....and I wanted to distance myself from that type of relationship with him. Several more months past and he tells me he has repented & is living a Christian life and that he & his girlfriend (who at this point had been together 5 years)are finally getting married.....and yet (a couple of emails later) he invites me over for sex (which I still decline). From the beginning I asked him to tell his girlfriend about us, but I always respected his decision to keep things on the down-low......UNTIL he emailed me and told me he was basically tired of making small talk with me & that we were either going to have a "secret rendezvous for old times sake or nada". That upset me, I was already always feeling guilty that I allowed myself to be in that situation with him & that his girlfriend never found out about us....it made me feel even more guilty that he was getting married without revealing the secret to her (especially since he was obviously still prone to cheat....just a month before his wedding date he was talking to me & would've slept with me had I consented to it). All of a sudden I decided to contact his fiance and tell her the whole story....she'd been disrespected for too long (by both of us).....I thought this would teach him a lesson too; I didn't think he'd ever really repent and change his ways if he were allowed to get away with his affair. I tried to email G's fiance anonymously. He apparently monitors her email account & replied back with vile language and death threats. She did finally get the message. G found out that I'd sent her the message and he of course had more threats and choice words to toss my way. I don't know if I made the right decision to tell her & I'm not sure if she actually married him anyway.....that's where the story ends.......Any input on this situation & my decision to finally reveal the secret? Link to post Share on other sites
Patiently waiting Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Ahhh, I could totally relate to your feelings on this one. I have so much to say, it's gonna take me days to write it all. I actually told my MM that I would tell his wife if he didn't basically meet my demands. He was feeling the need to repent to me for all the trauma I have gone through with him but only on his terms. I will do this, I will give you that(financially)......But once I said, no, I will tell you what I need from you (basically all financial stuff on my part too) or I will tell your wife, he got really mad. Said "I will go to the police and report you for extortion" I laughed in his face and said, baby...... go right ahead. Whatta ya gonna say...."My girlfriend told my wife I was cheating on her" ???? The cops would say you got what you deserved !!! He got all huffy and said "you don't know me, you think you do, but you don't" Again laughing......I say "Oh, yes I do, you just don't know how well I do". YOU don't know me!!!!! Anyway....he is now going to see the mediator and I hope she kicks his ass out, but she won't. She will eventually take him back. Fine, because ya' know what he's an a**h*** anyway. I hope he begs for her forgiveness, for once in his life he will know what it's like to be on the other side. I love him, but hate his guts! I need to be free........Lord help me, cause I need it!!!! You I think did the right thing....although others may say you had no right to decide to choose their possible fate, I believe she will eventually thank you for being couragous enought to save her from a life of tragedy with him. We sisters need to look out for each other, the men certainly stick together.....We need to stop being so damn jealous of each other and cat fighting. We need to embrace the love we have for each other as women and be willing to put it all on the line to give our fellow women some dignity whether we think we want it or not! Men are pigs, that's that! Link to post Share on other sites
2Confuzed Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 Originally posted by T-Mama My story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t25...t=death+threats I still am not over the situation....everyone says to move on, but the threats still hang over my head...HE doesn't forgive me for telling HER....SHE has never responded to me/forgiven me...HE has recently reminded me that he can still ruin me. T-Mama, I haven't read your story but I'm assuming you told the wife about the affair. That NEVER works. You will always end up looking like the bad guy. If you want to see how much your MM actually cares, tell his wife. He will turn on you so fast that your head will spin. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 oink Any input on this situation & my decision to finally reveal the secret? I agree with 2Confuzed If you want to see how much your MM actually cares, tell his wife. He will turn on you so fast that your head will spin. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 14, 2004 Share Posted November 14, 2004 . If you want to see how much your MM actually cares, tell his wife. He will turn on you so fast that your head will spin. I agree 100%. Guaranteed loss. You'd probably never hear from him again. Link to post Share on other sites
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