i'm tired of feeling so stupid

[teresa]

help please! my boyfriend knows alot about just about everything but sometimes forgets the answer so he will ask me and i'll be lucky to even have a clue as to what he is talking about!

 

i need some ideas on how to be smarter, seriously, i feel so incompetent cause i'm always saying "i don't know" when he asks me something.

 

i've tried being creative in finding other ways of saying "i don't know" without saying "i don't know" but still i feel so dumb.

 

i have a hard time remembering and getting facts straight and i've tried that but i really can't remember things so that is making it so much harder.

 

any ideas on how to at least appear smarter? help!

[Tony T]

You shouldn't have to work at being something you are not. If your boyfriend is so damned smart, he should understand that not everyone is as knowledgeable as he is. It is very wrong for him to expect you to know answers he does not.

 

Also, let him know that you aren't his encyclopedia to be there to fill him in when he doesn't know something. Let him know how it makes you feel and tell him to just plain stop.

 

If there is this much of a major intellectual disparity in your relationship, you ought to consider if it will have more serious effects later.

 

Meanwhile, just be yourself and don't try to appear smarter. Now, if it was Halloween, I'd tell you to go out as Bill Gates...be even he can be pretty dumb sometimes.

 

P.S. Often, know-it-alls like your boyfriend are very self centered and/or very insecure. He may even be using his intellectualization to mask serious underlying issues in his life. Pay more attention to this. Some of the smartest people in the world are the most humble and don't ask others to fill them in.

[Deejette]

Don't put yourself down so much. Everyone has their own form of intelligence. Some people know lots of facts and are good at games like Jeopardy. Other people have practical intelligence, sometimes known as common sense or street smarts.

 

So don't try to put yourself in a mold. Your boyfriend must love you (or he would not be with you) for who you are.

You shouldn't have to work at being something you are not. If your boyfriend is so damned smart, he should understand that not everyone is as knowledgeable as he is. It is very wrong for him to expect you to know answers he does not. Also, let him know that you aren't his encyclopedia to be there to fill him in when he doesn't know something. Let him know how it makes you feel and tell him to just plain stop. If there is this much of a major intellectual disparity in your relationship, you ought to consider if it will have more serious effects later. Meanwhile, just be yourself and don't try to appear smarter. Now, if it was Halloween, I'd tell you to go out as Bill Gates...be even he can be pretty dumb sometimes. P.S. Often, know-it-alls like your boyfriend are very self centered and/or very insecure. He may even be using his intellectualization to mask serious underlying issues in his life. Pay more attention to this. Some of the smartest people in the world are the most humble and don't ask others to fill them in.

[Rogue]

Everybody is smart about something and dumb about something. We're all geniuses and doorbells at the same time, it all depends on the situation we find ourselves in. We're all dumb some of the time. We're all smart some of the time. It's human nature.

 

You may find this hard to believe, but in some ways you're smarter than your boyfriend! Yup, it's true. You may not know in what, but I bet if you look real close you'll find he's wrong about a lot of things and you're right about a lot of things.I bet you can do things your boyfriend can't do, or understand some things your boyfriend can't understand.

 

Anyways, if you want to learn more about any subject simply read more. Read and read and read....you'll bound to learn something no matter what. Read about anything you find remotely interesting, anything that catches your imagination. Read about things you find important, or read the newspaper everyday to find what's going on in the world.Nevermind if you can't remember much, a lot of it will stick to you in ways you're not aware of.

[Nic]

you're not stupid at all. you're just letting yourself feel intimidated by your boyfriend's intelligence. this guy may be very knowledgable on a lot of subjects, but i can guarantee you that there are a lot of things you have knowledge about that he doesn't.

 

did it ever occur to you that when he "forgets" the answer, it's probably because he doesn't even know the answer, and that's why he's asking you?

 

don't criticise yourself, because we are all intelligent in our own ways. even the smartest person in the world can have absolutely no common sense and not have much knowledge on certain subjects.

 

try bringing up conversation topics that interest you and that you have knowledge on. read books, magazines, surf the net, do trivia quizzes on what interests you. but whatever you do, don't compare your brain to his and don't try to prove anything to him. he's with you for a reason after all, and i certainly don't think he'd care if you didn't know the answer to every question he asks you. he certainly doesn't have the answer to every question he asks you, because he wouldn't be asking you if he did would he?

 

help please! my boyfriend knows alot about just about everything but sometimes forgets the answer so he will ask me and i'll be lucky to even have a clue as to what he is talking about!

 

i need some ideas on how to be smarter, seriously, i feel so incompetent cause i'm always saying "i don't know" when he asks me something.

 

i've tried being creative in finding other ways of saying "i don't know" without saying "i don't know" but still i feel so dumb. i have a hard time remembering and getting facts straight and i've tried that but i really can't remember things so that is making it so much harder. any ideas on how to at least appear smarter? help!