Living with his Ghost

[Misadventure]

You know what, all our ex's can go F themselves.. really. For all they have done to us.. made us FEEL about ourselves... screw them.

 

WE deserve happiness.

 

We deserve to feel passion, love, comfort, security, self fulfillment, high self esteem, and JOY.

 

For even if a moment if they have robbed this of us... F THEM.

 

I know I want to feel all this again.. and one day I WILL.

 

But until then the process does sucketh.

 

Screw him for that!!!

[Moniq]

I'm doing ok these past couple of days. Today I did get bummed out because I was sitting in a doctors office and I couldn't help but notice all the family pictures. A happy family, a strong family. I am forever going to be my kids and I. I know that's enough but I wanted my family together. One big happy family. I feel so lonely and pathetic in this big ol bed of mine.

 

Goodnight sweet prince, wherever you are.

[Moniq]

BK, you are right, I did rely on my Ex for happiness. But then again we were all we had. We moved a lot so we only had each other and our kids. Even once we moved back home, it was hard to disconnect. I was so used to him and him making me happy that I forgot about me.

 

I did, while in AL, start doing things for me. School, Zumba and I started training for a 5k. I was feeling good. I finished 2 5ks and felt like a superstar. But then the separation happened. Like you said BK your husband saw the woman that he fell in love with. I am not the same person that he fell in love with and I know it. But it was a transition that I did not realize had happened and I was all about my family and not about me. I lost. I lost me, and my family.

 

But I am busy with work and school and I realize that I love going to starbucks to study.

[Moniq]

So I started a diet and I am on day or should I say night four. I want to eat the world, but im not. I am motivated to lose weight and feel good about myself. I want to be comfortable with my body. I don't have time to exercise but I will try to be more active on the weekends. I am definitely not doing this for my ex but I do want him to see the girl he married.

 

Today I got a text from him, saying I needed to sign some documents, nothing big, but I hated receiving that text from him while at work. I never thought that one day I would hate communicating with my husband. He is not rude or cold or anything, I am. I don't want to hear him, see his texts, nothing. It hurts to bad still. I felt so nervous when he texted me. Why does that happen?

[Moniq]

Hello loveshack!

I am finally getting a routine with my life. But I truly miss the affection of a man. Ten years is a long time and I miss holding someone's hand, have someone to hold me, I miss having someone who loved me. And it's been a long time since someone has given me any attention, that includes the last two years with my ex. I feel good with my life and my future I am just lonely. I'm taking care of myself and working really hard to be happy with me.

[Moniq]

Today has been rough. I had a bad dream with my EX and It seems to have ruined my whole day. My mom took the kids to church so I decided to get out of the house since I felt a break down coming on. I cried at home for a minute and left. I went to a bookstore, bought some sunglasses and went to Walgreens, but I still felt like crap. I am home now and I cant pull myself together. This has been the lowest I've been In a while. I need to go out, do something that would take my mind away from my EX.

[LuvsTrucks2]

I too was with my STBXH for ten years. I also miss his presence around the house, our life, our routines. We did everything together. I have tried developing new routines, but from time to time, I find myself slipping into the old routines. Just try to keep busy and do things you enjoy. I have been busier than what I normally would be and am trying to get back to something more attainable so that the shock doesn't hit me so hard when I don't have something to do. Take it one day at a time, if that get's too difficult, take it one breathe at a time.

[Moniq]

So I'm a little emotional today. Today marks four months since the separation. I was doing good all day till I got lost in rush hour traffic and had lots of time to think. I just want to feel good about myself and move on with my life.

[Misadventure]

So I'm a little emotional today. Today marks four months since the separation. I was doing good all day till I got lost in rush hour traffic and had lots of time to think. I just want to feel good about myself and move on with my life.

 

I know, sweetie. I feel it too.. moments of "I feel good today".. and then moments of "I don't mind if stbx gets hit with a bread truck and his pelvis is shattered" (call me a meanie, I know!)...and then just moments of "Ugh!! I can't take this!"

 

But Moniq...it's better than the beginning day one of this.... that is something.

[dumped2013]

Abird, go fly away. No one wants to take your survey

[Moniq]

Hello LS. Been away awhile. Update! I should be divorces by November 20th. This has been the quickest divorce ever. Separated in June, he filed in September divorced final in November. Right befôre the holidays. Great. Thank you!!

[Moniq]

Hi LS.

I am divorced. I am trying really hard to appreciate everything I do have. I've see the Ex a few time, picking up the kids. The kids love him so much. He has been ignoring me and days will pass and we will not speak. He will only talk to the kids. I'm ok with that. I am now noticing all the jerk moves he was pulling while we were married. I deserve the best! I am lonely. I don't want to be in a relationship but I would love to meet people. However I don't go out. I do nothing but work, school and be with my kids. I'm tired. I'm tired of myself. I'm sick and tired of crying almost everyday I hate being down and depressed! I have to get myself out of this!