"People Change in their 20's..."

[Jangles524]

Honestly, I find this to be bull****.

 

It seems a lot of people meet their SO's in their late teens-early 20s. It often doesn't work out, and the line the dumpee is fed is "people change in their 20s"

 

So why didn't I ever change? I often have found myself in conversations about "the dating game" saying that I was looking for wife material when I was 16.

 

Even at a young age I found myself... how would I say... "romantically mature". Not sexually, hell I was a virgin until 18. I just didn't like the idea of young love.

 

I realized at a young age that relationships in highschool were fickle. I watched relationships crash and burn around me like the rapture just happened and every person operating a vehicle just went to heaven. I felt like the only one realizing that relationships at this age were a joke.

 

 

Well... Cut to years later, and after a 6 year relationship I took VERY SERIOUSLY failed, I am once again fed the same line.

 

"She just changed. People change in their 20's."

 

So... Why did I never change? Why have I wanted real love since I was young? What about me fights the mentality of every other male (I don't want to party/sleep around) my age?

 

None of this angers me. I do not yearn to party. I feel I lost nothing in avoiding high school relationships. I am single for the first time in years but I do not want to bang everything with a pulse.

 

I just don't feel people change. I have been the same person since I was a young teen. Perhaps I have learned more, but I am as mature now as I was then.

 

Or maybe people do change, and I am the only one excluded from this rule. Doomed to walk this earth, steadfast in my ways, living amongst others who become a new human every 5 years.... lol.

[Philosoraptor]

People constantly change, always evolving. Everyone does it in different ways. Understand that everything you do is a choice, if you choose to not partake in the partying, then it's your right to do so. Personally, I was never into the party scene either.

 

People don't "just change". They make conscious choices that drive them down the path they follow. At any time they can make a different choice, but they are simply doing what they want to do. You made the choice to stick to your path as you believe it is the one to bring you happiness. Everyone is entitled to follow their own path and all you can do is wish them well and stick to your own path.

[CarrieT]

OP, you might be an exception, but it has been scientifically proven that biologically, until you are in your mid-20s, a person is only "half-baked."

 

Noted in this article here.

 

The critical part: "a crucial part of the brain — the frontal lobes — are not fully connected."

 

Sorry, while you have a mindset of what you wanted, most people do not.

[Keenly]

You did change. You just didn't notice because no one person ever has an objective view of themselves. It's always going to biased because... its YOU.

 

 

 

Analogy :

 

As a kid, you saw your grandparents what... every six months?

 

As a kid, You never really noticed yourself growing taller. You see yourself every single day in the mirror, and you only grow fractions of a centimeter at a time, so you would never be able to notice.

 

The grandparents however, because they have such a time gap in between visits, see you and go OMG YOU HAVE GROWN. You say, "but I dont feel like I have."

 

 

Its the same with people changing. You did change. You just didn't notice because its yourself.

[theonlyjuan]

Not everyone changes completely, you gain new experiences and it changes your outlook and personality.

 

1 mate of mine is exactly the same as he was at school! Why?, because he has done absolutely nothing with his life. Never had a GF, never even kissed a girl, never been out with his mates, never had a job, he has not grown into an adult.

 

My ex was 19 and I knew deep down we wouldn't last. She only had 1 proper relationship before me and she was due to start Uni soon. Being at Uni would have changed her and she would have gained new friends and experiences, eventually we would drift apart. I remember when i first met her and I was talking to a friend about her and I said " Wow she is so naive " He reminded me I was like that once at her age.

 

Some people just need to figure out who they are and what they want/like. They may figure this out from dating and failed relationships, I defiantly have.

 

I have heard of people dumping their BF/GF at a young age because they thought the grass was greener. Years later they said what a mistake they made because they now wished they had someone like that. It just wasn't the right time in their life for them, but now they have matured into a person that would love to have that again.