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I dont understand


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I don't even know where to begin because our friendship dates back years. But basically, I have a best friend of many years that I began having relations with a year and a half ago. It started as friends with benefits and I caught feelings. I admitted it to him and surprisingly he felt the same way. As time went on, he expressed he didn't want to share me with anyone else physically so of course I asked the same of him. **I do need to explain a key factor in this story: he and my cousin are best friends, it was important that it remained a secret given this situation, this was mutually agreed upon** back to the story. We definitely wanted to explore things so when I had moved out if the city for many months but we maintained communication and feelings progressed. We would have Skype dates and talk all the time. He would miss me and I, him.*

 

I returned for a visit and it was wonderful. He always wanted to spend time with me and I always felt wanted.

 

Most recently, we went on vacation together, my cousin tagged along (last minute, couldn't say no since it would look bad considering the secrecy) and for the most part, it was a good time. I decided instead of going back out of town, I stayed.

 

Long story short, I feel like given its been a year, there's no real progress. He says he wants me, likes the fact that he wants to see a future relationship with me, all of these things, but I don't feel it anymore. When I say something sweet or whatever, he brushes it off with a "kool" or "true", he doesn't put forth the effort to see me any longer or even invite me over. He just all in all seems so disinterested and my affections are unwanted and unwelcome.

 

I would like to be in a real relationship because for the longest, I wasn't sure. I finally decided that but there remains the factor that my cousin is very childish and I don't want him to lose my cousin's friendship over it seeing as how they are best friends.

 

I'm not sure what to do at this point I guess. Am I being impatient? Am I being needy? Is this pointless and I need to cut my losses and run?

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I decided to plan a date for us today. I had it planned for a week but he kind of had a rough day recently. Hopefully it cheers him up a bit since he still said he wanted to follow through with the date.

 

I just hope it all works out.

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