oliviah Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Before him I used to be: A tall gorgeous red head who turned heads and loved it! (don't look don't care now) A woman who ran 2 half marathons a year A great mother A fabulous cook (no one to cook for but myself) An artistic, quirky girl who was always game for anything! An avid gardener, canner, knitter, spinner, runner, striving to be a farmer. An animal lover. A person who did her nails, her hair for herself all the time, now I don't care much. A woman who loved clothes, fashion, books A woman who loved to travel and people watch! A woman who loved spending time with family and friends! Always the listener. 7 months later, I am an empty shell trying to survive! Link to post Share on other sites
Ladydrib Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Before him I used to be: A tall gorgeous red head who turned heads and loved it! (don't look don't care now) A woman who ran 2 half marathons a year A great mother A fabulous cook (no one to cook for but myself) An artistic, quirky girl who was always game for anything! An avid gardener, canner, knitter, spinner, runner, striving to be a farmer. An animal lover. A person who did her nails, her hair for herself all the time, now I don't care much. A woman who loved clothes, fashion, books A woman who loved to travel and people watch! A woman who loved spending time with family and friends! Always the listener. 7 months later, I am an empty shell trying to survive! Oh God. Seven months and you haven't improved? You're scaring me. You're not an empty shell. You are still that complexly beautiful woman inside but you are healing and so you are seeing a different side of yourself. You are passionate or it wouldn't matter to you and you'd already be better. You will come back and when you do you will be even more wonderful and even stronger. Don't call yourself an empty shell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Awwe girl you're still all of those things, just a selfish greedy bastard took your power away. MM gaslight the hell out of OW, they manipulate us to doubt our own reality. They gaslight BS when they need to dday or verge of a dday, but they're constantly gaslighting the OW. This is what keeps the OW so happy during the peaks of the A, and second guessing herself and grovelling in doubt and paranoia in the valleys of the A. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sooverhim Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Oliviah, you are still all of those things my love. Affairs bleed us dry, they destroy us, they take away our confidence, self-esteem, self-belief and leave us like you said ... as just an empty shell. It takes time to rebuild ourselves after the destruction of an A, time and work. You will get better Oliviah, little by little, you will get yourself back and you will be the strong, confident, beautiful you that you have always been. Keep posting and sharing, we are here to help. Big hugs x o x o x 2 Link to post Share on other sites
maidai Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 You are still all those things you just need to get it back. ((hug)) Start gently and easily. Give yourself a pamper night alone. Cook yourself something delicious and then lock yourself away. Have a long long bath then do your nails and do your hair and then do your make up. Re release the old you. Take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror when you look better you will feel better.. The next day take a class..... The next day see friends. Everytime you do one of these little acts you reclaim your own power back. You will find yourself smiling and feeling good and you will make your way slowly back to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LimeBlue Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Don't let someone take all this away from you. I seem to have come out the opposite - before my affair years ago I was a mere shell but now I am most of your list and more (I don't run, nor cook, nor a mother... lol). Having an affair completely turned me around for who I am inside and I have made great strides ever since. My xAP however, has not, and he sits in the same rut doing the same ****, just a different day. Turn it around so that you can sit back and look at him as the one who is doing nothing to better himself. It is a great feeling! I also know that my xAP is well aware of where I am today, via a number of mutual friends, and it intimidates him in many ways to see the strong person that I actually am. Turn it around, be the person you were before and then some. Take back that control. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Get back on that horse Oliviah Link to post Share on other sites
Author oliviah Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Well, MM and I not only work together but are involved in a situation that involves contact. No way out of it! I will need much support as I am very much alone. Just the words of encouragement helped me. Thank you so very much! Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 I agree with everyone else. You are still all of those things, you still have them inside of you. You just need to pull them back out again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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