Author hurts2death Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 i will become succesful and keep no contact she will learn either way i am sure about it. i will become succesfull for a better me not her though...... i try to squeze smaller and smaller the part of me that still hopes cares hates asks revenge.... what a nice talk we have here,,,, thanks really much Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 i need inputs people.... i woke up literally crying ... temted to call and resisted thinking i did everything possible she doesnt want me anymore . respect that. and repsect my self .... Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 i need inputs people.... i woke up literally crying ... temted to call and resisted thinking i did everything possible she doesnt want me anymore . respect that. and repsect my self .... dude, you're just going through heartbreak. it hurts like hell but it happens to most everyone at some point; including me. you'll be fine. hang tough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 your signature is my motive... in a way . a pararwlism to escape break up shadows..... the fear of death sets us free in the end... check out "the pit" The Dark Knight Rises: Without A Rope [HD 1080p] - YouTube dude, you're just going through heartbreak. it hurts like hell but it happens to most everyone at some point; including me. you'll be fine. hang tough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) mummyjonno please can you help me join some peaces? as the days pass by... i understand more things more clearly... as of the day of the closure after the needing space time she called but before she called we texted each other and in a text she said,,,,, i dont want to say sorry... though i didnt ask for sth like that... so in my situation its even more clearly gigs out of the blue and the dumper here know 100% its her fault........ so i am keeping nc for me yes i know why and it helps me,.... but in the same time nc will make her regret i believe and i don stand on this i am just saying........ Edited September 1, 2013 by hurts2death Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie80 Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 hurts2death, Sorry to read about your situation! Its so hard to think straight after a breakup. There are so many questions that we will not always get the answer to. We will never truly know what was going through their head leading up to the break and the day of. Not even all this time afterwards. We can beat ourselves up all day long, but in the end, all we are doing is stressing ourselves out. We are doing noting but destroying ourselves. We need to pick up the pieces of broken self and rebuild us. Piece by piece. It will take time. Some days the glue may come undone and we fall apart again. But as long as we have a pulse, we can continue building. It wont happen over night. Everyone is different. Some will takes weeks, some will take months and some, will take years. As far as NC goes, you know it is not used as a game. It is used to do nothing but give you that piece and quiet while you build yourself back up. We have to do it with no interruptions, no distractions and no fall backs. We have to look at this as strictly at temporary thing. We will be back together, in one piece, but we will be a different person. And for the better. Each break up makes us stronger. Believe it or not. It is one of thousands of life lessons that we MUST endure along our journey of life. And this probably wont be the last heartache. But we can use this one to help us and make us stronger for the next one. The longer we stay in NC the better it is for us. It could give our exs the time to miss us and see what they have truly walked away from. It may not. But we wont know. But I do know that the more we reach out to them once they have made it clear that its over, then the less chance of them EVER coming back. What I did is, I emailed him a very long and open letter. I did my sincere apology, I expressed how much I miss him, and how hurt I am. All I got back was a one line message: "I do forgive you, but everything happens for a reason. Im sure our paths will cross again one day". I can take that in 2 different ways. 1, that was his way of letting me go gently or 2, he is not closing the door on us forever. Either way, I will not know right now. I have to stop analyzing his email. Stop researching about what that means. He is different than anyone else. Therefore, I will never know. So my advice to you, stay in NC. You need to build yourself back up. She has made it clear to you that she wants the break. So, give it to her. Show her that you are stronger that she is giving you credit for. Even though it will take a very long time, just think, each and every day that goes by, you are getting stronger and stronger. You are gaining each piece of yourself back as the days go by. Don't give her the steering wheel of your life. YOU get into that drivers seat and start taking control of YOUR life. SHE walked away. SHE needs to deal with that. She may not really care now, but I bet you she will when she realizes that you are no longer crying over her. Trust me, when we think that you will always be there, we kinda take advantage of that. But when we see that your on your way without us, usually we panic. Not saying all girls, just speaking from my own experience. For some reason, I always want what I cant have :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 Kimmie thanks for the answer i wish we could get some kind of coffee but i guess it aint gona happen cause i am in europe... i mean really thank you. you cant imagine how much i apreciate it... yes all you say its truth.... let us heal and let them deal with the loss on their own.. as far as nc goes should i remove her from skype(i never again loged in though....) and to let you know you can take your email like this... he gently dumps you.. there is no way on earth when you feel love to leave somebody cold like that,,, its like they think of way to let us without paining us... exactly like my ex.... let us heal i wish for all of us the best. thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie80 Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 hurts2death, your very welcome. I am still working on myself. All this is very new to me. That email he sent was on July 18th. I could have written him back saying something about hoping that our paths will cross again, but whats the point. He made it clear that he was walking. What more was there to say. I wish you nothing but the best! Keep posting so we keep updated. Coffee would be wonderful, but Im in Canada lol. A little far. But doesnt mean we cant keep in touch 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 Kimmie i get outbursts here i need help... i keep making circles thinking the same.. she is so cute so pitty so nice why she not with me she might need me.... and i feel much pain... but sadly the truth is she was ready to dump me .. yes that lovely creature bleached me into dark matter literaly.. and then i stop pain i just miss the person as an addiction.... and no reason of me being to much over the phone and too much talking to her every while. that aint a reason to leave for ever she might have said lets take it a bit cooler if she loved me.... i really dont understand... though if i get a detective to see and confirms me with photos that she is partying wild or having an affair its over for me .... total graveyard... but then again it might be that she might feel lonely and miss me... and here come circle thinking again... why on earth if she missed me not to call and say.... honey i want to give you our cute little hugs i love you you are my little doggie..... wtf... situation is ****ed..... i must retain rasional thinking and logic or i am going to bad roads...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 i also thought this to help my situation and it i believe help yours too... she do not want. SHE DO NOT WANT. if she wanted me she would hold us our relationship she would not betrait us.... i respect she does not want.... so if someone doesnt want its nothing to say or think......... the pitty love guilt abandonment heart thoughts i have is my soul who cares about her as a human.... i guess she might not have such a humanly side after all... its all for her its all for her ego... everything that makes her feel be better.... when you love you do backsteps.... when you love you want the best of the two not your self..... (i dont mean to not love your self but weight it correctly.) you dont treat humans like that especially the ones tha love you she doesnt deserve a relationship and i bet down the road she will be lonely as **** i forgive her though but the wound will be visible for ever...... Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Morning, I remember a few days ago stating you hate her. We all go through I love them I hate them I love them I hate them. You were right when you said she no longer wants you. She's made that very very clear. Hiring a private detective, which by the way is almost stalking her just hiring someone to do it is completely the wrong thing to do. She has told you she doesn't want you, she has shown you she doesn't want you that's literally it. Like I have said before now. You could be in a worse position. You could have been left with no words, no explanation. They literally could have just gone. That ex of yours is moving on, just like most of ours are. She won't be alone forever and as much as it hurts all of us we are all aware our exs will find someone new and be as happy if not more with them than they were with us. You need to get out, stop fretting and busy yourself because while being on here may help you (it also may not) and you need to start living for just you now. I'm sorry this comes across as harsh, it's not intentional but people have been advising you for days and every time you post they each get more irate. We understand you are heartbroken and you are here to find some help and solice but if you refuse to listen you are going to get neither. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 good morning.. yeah that answer is kind hard but truth... i keep like that cause you see... WHY THE HELL CAN I BE ERASED LIKE THAT AFTER 3 YEARS? i can not understand at all mummyjonno do you think that if i find out she is moving on i will be easier to forget? thats why the detective thought came in..... i am becomming miserable Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 I think if you find out she is moving on you'll be 100 times more miserable than you are right now. Maybe even worse. I'll tell you what I do. When me and my ex first split. I checked his Facebook, I checked when he had last been online (27 minutes ago ect) I googled him. I found him in match.com and even though it had been set up months ago, he hadn't been using it it hurt like hell to see he had tried to move on. He was married 14 years - his wife had pretty much erased that. 3 years you can be erased. I feel like our relationship has been erased. I don't see him hurting, cry, scream because he's frustrated. But the key is, it's not gone. It can never be gone. You and her will always remember. You may not say it but you'll remember as I know I do and I know he will. How about giving us some information on you. How old are you? Do you work? School? Do you have friends? Active social life? Hobbies? Gym? X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 i am 24yo i am already somehow (well builded as of body physique i am not overwight i am ok) i am kind tall generally i am handsome other women notice me( sad but true i try to get reasurance cause i also feel like -what the **** she left me and despite the good heart i am nice looking too i am getting devastated)i used to work out like the 300 rutine from the movie the actors before the break up but i stopped cause of a core nerve injury i am still recovering...(now i see that i started doing this cause i was getting less attention from her) i own 1/3 of a turist business and due to crysis it is almost 0 income last year so thats kind pathetic.... i am though going to guard ships in somalia for sometime to get some cash to gain my economics on track again with stockmarket.... regarding social life only a friendly couple thats left and care about me.. non more . i was like full of clubs and etc i am not into that anyway./...generally people say hi all around when i cruise but i am not friend feeling anybody cause i used to think i had my soul mate to cover every need of me as a hoby i like driving around cities....(but due to economic crysis i also parked the car-) more pathetic i know... as of school i got a year on electronics i quit though cause i couldnt see the life i wanted there,, then i tried as a policeman but for temporarily and i quited too cause it was kind pathetic... then i worked at place where they were borrowing people money and they were keeping their belongins as a warranty it was kind pathetic too cause they were literaly taking advantage of human pain... one day i got face to face with some albanians with guns requesting their suv back and since then i run out of it and never looked back... the boss though used to have accounts of million euros and trusted me and i thought that would be my door.but i was wrong... i just came from the coffee shop of the block as i was paging the news i saw a header.MRS X IS SUPER HAPPY WITH HER NEW LOVE and under was saying it is like this is the best of the relationships she had.... and i thought how the hell? am i that outsider what happened to people these days are they switching partners like objects? am i thinking wrong? or i might accept that? that current life is like that.... switching for gigs or anything letting in order to feed our self only and forget about love,,, jesus earth has become such a hell mommyjonno thanks for the support and your time... I think if you find out she is moving on you'll be 100 times more miserable than you are right now. Maybe even worse. I'll tell you what I do. When me and my ex first split. I checked his Facebook, I checked when he had last been online (27 minutes ago ect) I googled him. I found him in match.com and even though it had been set up months ago, he hadn't been using it it hurt like hell to see he had tried to move on. He was married 14 years - his wife had pretty much erased that. 3 years you can be erased. I feel like our relationship has been erased. I don't see him hurting, cry, scream because he's frustrated. But the key is, it's not gone. It can never be gone. You and her will always remember. You may not say it but you'll remember as I know I do and I know he will. How about giving us some information on you. How old are you? Do you work? School? Do you have friends? Active social life? Hobbies? Gym? X Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Thanks for that its easier to advise you a little if we know some things about you. You REALLY need to work on specifically you. Your confidence in yourself seems vertually none. Starting points. Find a job where you can work. You may not like it but money is money. Money = driving around = hobby You need to find a way to make friends. Many of us wrap our lives around our boyfriend or girlfriend and when they are no longer there we have no one. Just us. Join clubs, swim mining , gym when you can even basic things you can do while recovering. Join friend sites, meet people go out and have fun. The more self worth in your life the better. No one can love someone who doesn't love themselves. As for your ex I'm sorry, she moved on, she had probably mentally moved on before she broke up with you. I warned you not to look... I guess you feel worse now?? Do you, make you happy. You don't need someone to help make you happy. A partner is supposed to compliment your life not be it xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 mummyjonno i am sure mentaly she moved on before she was kind of. kind like me thinking where is her mind going? i am so devastated. no i did not look what she is up to ... i will sometime the demons are gone and then i will face the truth .... i pray for power to heal. i pray for power to give. i pray for me to face the truth and i pray for me to be able to fall in love again and more this time..... please god save us all.. mummyjonno why the idea of friends feel boring? i mean i just need someone to help me se the truth and care for me....or sit alone and think think think i am so lost.... i try to find motivational words or videos to help me survive and help be be better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 i am sorry to say this i want to share what i feel with you. the people that get through similar things. i feel i am unable to save my dreams while they catch fire.... i feel unable to understand that the only thing i can do about it is let it burn to dust.,... the pain cant compare to nothing.. i have been shot . i have waken up during surgery ,,i have done traffic accident with speed i have felt of motor bike while wheeling i have broken bones but nothing pains as much as this .... Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 I know your hurting right now... you may hurt in a month, a year, or 10. But you need to work on accepting this is over. I hate saying this, I don't want to take your hope away. But she has told you this. You need to cry, kick a punchbag, go to the gym literally do anything to make sure your busy and you aren't thinking of her. I know you don't want too. But you have too. I'm sorry X 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 mummyjonno what you mean i might hurt in a year or 10? i will still remeber like this? i want to die then this will not be lifeI know your hurting right now... you may hurt in a month, a year, or 10. But you need to work on accepting this is over. I hate saying this, I don't want to take your hope away. But she has told you this. You need to cry, kick a punchbag, go to the gym literally do anything to make sure your busy and you aren't thinking of her. I know you don't want too. But you have too. I'm sorry X Link to post Share on other sites
killershaft Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Bro all i can say is the pain fades away as the days pass by... you will see the difference for yourself... one day u wake up and it doesnt hurt at all... but the most important thing is to cry your heart out in this stage.it helps you to grieve the loss and move on faster.. Dont get into a rebound relationship what so ever for the next 6 months atleast. But you can always date girls and have fun...Also, just refrain from thinking what your ex is doing and who shes going to be with... it wont matter to you couple of months down the line... just keep some patience and hang in there... the future is much better and brighter... And just to mention your ex will only think about returning if you completely forget about her and live your life happily. Think about how you can achieve that... build your character from this incident tahts happened... make yourself better... Channelize and convert all your anger and hatred positively. pls dont waste this energy thinking about someone who doesnt want you.... its a complete waste... The ball will return to your court soon keep the faith.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 wish we could meet all and talk and exchange opinions...... yes i do cry yes it hurts a lot. i hide it but tears come up proving its there.... sometimes like now i let it big and i cry lye down feel my skin my breath... i deserve to have my soul in place and will do anything to accomplish it. thank you a lot. john Link to post Share on other sites
killershaft Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 I was in the same position as you are a year back.... cried literally every morning in my bathroom just so folks at my place dont notice me crying. Its because we love that person a lot.... dont worry you will learn to deal with this pain as time passes.. it hurts more in the beginning and slowly fades away with time... its a test every man has to go through... A year down the line my feelings has completely changed to how it was back then.. i kinda laugh thinking about all the dramas that unfolded during the break up and how i felt lonely and left out and rejected... now all that has changed... all that i think of now is the future... yes i do reflect on the past.... I do miss her loads... does it hurt???? Hell NO...........its a process... so don freak out and think this feeling will last a lifetime.... Hope this helps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 thanks i cried a lot and already feel better . i went to eat a crepe and noticed a guys girl noticing me.. oh god thats the kind of people i really dont want to have around.... why the world is such awfull . why you miss her still and in what way? Link to post Share on other sites
mummyjonno Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 I think people end up missing the person they loved not the one they are now. Like I said earlier. I miss the man I fell in love with. Since the break up he's not that person anymore not to me. He's just a person I love and miss. Does he miss me? Probably not. Do I care? right now I do. Will I in a year? Probably not xx 2 Link to post Share on other sites
killershaft Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Long story... i was in a 6 year relationship thats broke off... so just the good memories i had with her shows up now and then.... but its all a good feeling... u will feel the same way too.... but she wont..... thats the difference here.... she will always compare the new guy to you and even a small negative quality in him will make her long for you.... so cheer up buddy.... life begins for you now.... explore it.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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