leoc1973 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Oh and something you need to learn really quick. Women aren't like they used to be. They don't stay home and have 10 kids and cook and clean anymore like years ago. They want to have lives too. And you can't blame them one bit because they have every right in the world to. They are people too. So next relationship you are in... Don't try to tell a woman she can't do something like having a drink with her friends. You tell her to have fun and then you just trust her to do the right thing. If she cheats its her fault not yours. Then you go find another one that deserves your trust and love. When I was young I didn't know any better and I tried to control my girlfriend. It only drives them away because they see all the fun their friends are having and all the stuff they are doing. You have to trust them and let them do what they want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 barky and friends i am in a weird situation. my best friend broke up(horrible his fiance had se3x with barman etc..) now he need my support (i will give it to him with full energy he did it to me when i broke up) anyway he said to go to the sea on saturday. the place we will visit is the closest to my town. and at the same time my ex will be there having her vacations with her new guy. i feel weird what if i meet them? ignore them? barky what you think? also i am car enthusiast i am gonna drive around alot my car before parking it so the possibilities rise to meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Do lot's of laughing in their presence, and pay them no attention. Show who the king is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 definetaly will try to show supper happy. and ignore them once on my view. i hope i wont meet them. Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 Sometimes when I drive past where my ex works I turn the music all the way up and dance and sing like I'm insane (I do it safely). I may look crazy, or I may look super happy. Either way, I feel good inside. She doesn't get to see me feeling down. She get's to see the fun side she lost. Remember that brother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 will do sth like. be dressed like a gent(as much as it goes for beach lol) shine my benz have my music on and smile while looking girls in bikinis. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 will do sth like. be dressed like a gent(as much as it goes for beach lol) shine my benz have my music on and smile while looking girls in bikinis. There you go! New girls! Sun and Fun! Drinks and Bikini's! That's what you need to look forward to! If you see your Ex, you can say to yourself, "Meh, been there, done that! But this girl over here! HEY! What's YOUR name!!" Have fun, dude! That's what's most important! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 this gets really weird now she called again on our back at the time provate number phone, 13-august 22 08 lol/ didnt answer cause i didnt see it but even if i did i wouldnt. wtf is going on? aint she on top of the world with her new man? i though she was. maybe this constiputed face in the pics with him is actually true? thats consdered breadcrumb? its now like 140 times she called and i ignored. wont the dumpers give up? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 You didn't run into her over that weekend at the beach, did you? Personally, I don't care about her! I want to hear about the fun time at that Beach town!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 no ididnt run into her. maybe she was expecting this to happen and thats why she called? i had great time to a next to this beach with my b friend Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 well these breadcramps are like traps i still am thinking of why she tried to contact me 1 year post break up and nc. while she is already months with mr perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 again omg......... she called again i could just hear her breathing and she wouldnt speak at all. i hanged up Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 its a year+ since break up no contact. i am well . i think of her like once a week or so for some secs. now that i am healed. would a contact with her cause me pain? i am curious. i also know that "curiosity killed the cat" Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 hurts2death, I'll admit that I only read a few words of your post, enough to know that you've been greatly heartbroken and that you feel like nothing hurts as much as this heartbreak. It hurts so much. What I've found in my recovery is that nothing hurts so much as losing yourself. Abandoning yourself. And I read enough of your post to know that it's what you've done to yourself. It's what I've done to myself too. It's probably what the majority of those who come to these forums have done. And it sucks (literally). It drains the life and light out of you. You need to make yourself your priority, not this girl. You are who you need for your primary emotional sustenance, not her or anyone else. Nobody can cheat on you except for yourself. Choose yourself. It's the only way to emotional freedom. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted October 25, 2014 Author Share Posted October 25, 2014 sooshi that was really good from you. thank you. yes since break up i only love me. this heartbreak made kinda more selfloving.though it didnt change my ethos. my curiosity remains though. those 3-4 years of curving timespace in my life aint something small. i am clear in head. clear in soul. i love me. end. the journey of healing was bitter. really bitter. i survived though. but hey. what was this all about. looks like sth from the past(well it is) . once it was my only thing in the universe(probably mistake but love does stuff). i feel you feel me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 so its been some time,. yeah and i am healed and stable. now i have this friend of mine who runs a promotion company. i am going to create a facebook public figure page with me with 10k likes on launch with couple of cool pics of me. i was wondering though what should be my action towards ex if she 1)likes page 2)sends msg 3)blocks 4 whatever. should i block her from first point or just proceed like she doesnt exist? Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 What ex? I hope you get what I'm implying here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 so its been some time,. yeah and i am healed and stable. now i have this friend of mine who runs a promotion company. i am going to create a facebook public figure page with me with 10k likes on launch with couple of cool pics of me. i was wondering though what should be my action towards ex if she 1)likes page 2)sends msg 3)blocks 4 whatever. should i block her from first point or just proceed like she doesnt exist? It depends on how you think her liking your page would affect you at this point. Sometimes, you don't know how something will affect you until it happens. You might not be neutral at this point. Also, do you think her having access to your FB page would snowball into more contact (direct of indirect). Like, would it tempt you to check up on her FB page? If it was a toxic relationship, I don't see any reason not to block a person on FB for good. It seems extreme, but it's sometimes better to simply block the person up front. It saves everyone a lot of hassle. I've just seen so many threads on LS that exist because of social media. Even years later, people can't move on or are getting caught up in unnecessary drama. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ganz7 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I agree with Sooshi. Focus on yourself. When my ex told me she was ending I pleaded with her not to leave. You know what she said..? "Don't do this to yourself". My ex was very clever in saying this. It was a good way of saying: I'm not the one putting you through the pain.. you are. Forget her. You know when I was with my ex I never cheated on her because I used to always think about other women.."what do they have that my gf doesn't have". You know the answer was always "nothing". Now, when I think of my ex I'll think what does she have that other women don't have. Want to guess what my answer is..? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lil hoodlum Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 so its been some time,. yeah and i am healed and stable. now i have this friend of mine who runs a promotion company. i am going to create a facebook public figure page with me with 10k likes on launch with couple of cool pics of me. i was wondering though what should be my action towards ex if she 1)likes page 2)sends msg 3)blocks 4 whatever. should i block her from first point or just proceed like she doesnt exist? Maybe it's just me, but fakebook isn't real life. Who cares what she likes or doesn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 guys help out. i just recieved an email from her after like 17 months since break up and me nc. she says "john hi. how are you? you might get surprised after all this time orthis mail might not even exist anymore i just wanted to see if you are ok." :confused::confused: how i react? she is with someone but she doesnt seem happy.like the grass aint greener anymore or sth,she has new friends and cycle.still lives in the nearby city. infact i got surprised by the mail. i will try to check and make sure with my self that any contact with her wont flame my emotions and then ofcourse after your ideas will procceed,,,,,, i am waiting for your inputs , i already feel like i am an attention wh0r3 this mail boosted my ego...:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Are you indifferent about her? I don't think so, so I wouldn't respond. She's not asking for you back. Until that happens, you're a ghost. If she's just curious, she'll probably hurt you again if you engage her. If she truly wants you back, she'll let you know with more contact than "I hope you are OK.' She may even truly want you back, but you don't know that until she flat-out tells you. Just my advice as I've received the emails and texts like that and have remained a ghost. I'm better off from not engaging, but I also didn't want my ex back. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Here's the deal. If you really want to respond to her because you are 100% sure that you want her back, are you ready for no response back from her? Truly, where will that put you? If/when you decide to reply you will have a tremendous amount of anxiety. It will eat at you the moment you send it and it will be all you think about for days and maybe weeks hoping to get something back and nothing comes. It will be painful. She may just want to find out if you are mad at her or if you are in serious relationship because if it was either one then she would get the idea, but a response automatically tells her that you are there for her waiting for her and that will stroke her ego. No matter what you decide, you cannot reply for days. I highly suggest you don't at all and see if she tries again, but it's your call in the end. Do what you must, but again, are you 100% sure you would want her back? If not then don't even bother. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 thanks for the answers , you made some good points here. answering and never getting anything back? that is true.if i do i will answer in more than 3 weeks :D:D:D and if i answer there will be a short indiferent msg that doesnt await response and at the same time showing my maturity and successfull level at this point. am i right? Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 (edited) "i am waiting for your inputs , i already feel like i am an attention wh0r3 this mail boosted my ego.." This may have boosted your ego, but it really says nothing. Leave it as it and keep your ego intact. If you reply and she doesn't again, then her ego is boosted and yours goes into the tank again. It then becomes a vicious cycle where you end up on the losing end of it. contact from your ex is like a drug and you keep needing a fix. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- After reading back on some of your posts (which I didn't do the first time), I truly believe that you should ignore her entirely. That is my strong opinion. Now if you feel you have to reply, here is what I would do. Reply back in a few days with "I'm doing great" and that's it. That is a mature response. DO NOT ask her a question. I repeat, DO NOT ask her a question. You no longer care how she feels so do not ask her how she is doing. YOU DO NOT CARE. Again, if you do reply, do no more than what I suggested. This is from my experience. If she starts communicating more then we'll go from there, but she must show you something. I honestly don't think she will and she is not worth your time, but I know where you're at so I'm giving you some advice on both sides of it. When you're past this, and you will in more time, you will look back and kick yourself. I did because I wasted too much time on a hopeless situation and it just about killed me. Edited December 24, 2014 by dumbass2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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