ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 take it easy.. i am super cool on the situation..... No one is being hostile. Lol you might think that, but posting so much here in the past month and a half and keep coming on here for reaffirmation isn't really being super cool. Yeah, the feelings you have might not be as painful as they were a month ago, but the hot and cold situations that you are expressing daily HERE on LS KEEPS you in this pit and doesnt really help at all. Moving forward and moving away from the situation are two different things my friend. You are moving forward, but you are not moving on if you keep yourself in this purgatory. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 yes i do so you think it should be better if she calls again not to update the thread we talk about my break up? i am seeing the events from a safe spot now.. i am stronger... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 yes i do so you think it should be better if she calls again not to update the thread we talk about my break up? i am seeing the events from a safe spot now.. i am stronger... Lets put things in a mild perspective here. Its only been what two months of a four year relationship? Yes, you are getting better with the working out and doing good work (the positive mojo is awesome) but "seeing the events in a safe spot" is a little strong. The mild obsessiveness you are showing is concerning. To keep asking questions on every SINGLE detail DOES keep you stuck in here. Yes, talking about the situation helps and you NEED to do that. Thats why sites like these exist.....I'm just saying you are keeping yourself from moving forward if you keep on with it. Talking about it SO much keeps her in your mind SO much. What I'm suggesting is maybe space out your LS usage a bit to move forward your own way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted September 26, 2013 Share Posted September 26, 2013 Pick a time, maybe 30 minutes every evening, where you can obsess and worry and think about her as much as you want. Then spend the rest of the day just living your life without thinking about her. Those 30 minutes will slowly become less and less and less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 26, 2013 Author Share Posted September 26, 2013 i v heard that again and it works brother. thanks...the thing is i dont care like that way... now i am more obsessed finding my alpha male self and at some point pass my genes to a nice woman.... end. -john-Pick a time, maybe 30 minutes every evening, where you can obsess and worry and think about her as much as you want. Then spend the rest of the day just living your life without thinking about her. Those 30 minutes will slowly become less and less and less. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 27, 2013 Author Share Posted September 27, 2013 abd while i was over the top with getting slowly over the break up last night i got one of a hell outburst ..... i was missing her that that much i almost got suffocated... thank god i managed to sleep now i just feel slightly bitter... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 hey catching up i think the fact that she called twice was bad for my healing.... it really set me back... jesus...i gave her what she wanted to be alone...why the f she wont let me in peace? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 and yes ofcourse friends i will keep this thread updated...as long as it goes the process and the acts of this break up..... up to now i realized its a rollercoaster...although as with time the highs and the lows get closer..... -john Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 i know you all here are strangers...i have nowhere to vent to.. these saturdays get really evil for me..... this is a vent out...... my lovely one left me alone quastioning why she left me..... it is so cold here and bitter,her ghost is hunting me again this evenning..cant cope...i pain so much...i would trade that pain with an open surgery at any time..... i wish it goes away i dont deserve this ..... i remain nc....strong Link to post Share on other sites
Stealth3 Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 This sucks, terrible situation. I feel that too many people have been screwing with her head... Her mom, coworkers, friends....same thing happened with my gf, so many people ****ed with her heard that she convinced herself that she needed to get rid of me. 9 months down the drain, just like that. One thing I learned is that no matter what you do or say, it doesn't matter. She needs to want to come back herself and depending on the girl, she will listen to her friends, coworkers, mom, etc but will never listen to anything you say. Hell, she will respect a random homeless guy on the street more than you at this point. The best thing to do is focus on yourself and go NC. If you focus on yourself, you can always get a better girl. If you focus on getting her back, you might get her back but who knows when is the next time she will do the same thing again. She is contacting you because she wants the cake and eat it too. Unless she sends a serious sign that she is willing to get back together and work **** out, ignore her. And if one day she comes back to you and you are with another girl or have no more feelings for her, ignore that as well. I decided to contact an ex via an email after she dumped me close to a year ago because I thought I have 0 feelings for her. I do have 0 feelings for her but seeing pictures of her with another guy who she probably was cheating on me with while we were together was pretty bad. I felt like she was part of my past, dead to me, and I should have left it like that. Although there are cases where some girls want to come back after they dump you, but their pride get in the way of sending you any serious signals. So they start playing games with you. In that case they need some help and you have to let them know what you want from them and that you won't settle for less. Although this is risky because you break NC. Do you still want her back? Do you think she slept with someone else and if so, would you still want her back? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 thanks friend for your time.... i dont know if i want her after she did all that damage to us by dumping me.... i feel suffocated. i dont believe she slept with another dude... well yes i agree on that unless she sents a clear signal i will not answer at anything...... hell it all went so wrong. 3 years thrown away like a s hit... wtf is she thinkikng....? and all this thing feeds my pain....the betrayal..... if she gets easyly influenced her value is s hit ... the problem is i cant deny i love her despite all the dumping she did./... my good manners make me pain i guess.... lets see what will happen tonight probably she will go for drinks and then call with hidden number ? thats bizare. Link to post Share on other sites
Stealth3 Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Part of the problem is that you still think there is a chance of getting her back with her and fixing everything. I'm in the same boat with my ex. Your mind thinks that despite everything, there are not any red lines she cross that can't be fixed. Sleeping with someone else is usually such red line and you think that's not the case. If she keeps on trying to communicate with you, she didn't really let go. My ex never initiated any form of communication at all. Keep NC and stop trying to think of her. If she calls with hidden number, be polite, hi and bye. Don't mention the relationship, keep it short and simple, let her feel that she lost you. Unless she feels you are gone for good, no matter what she feels for you she won't try to show it and re conciliate. So if you really want her to come back on her own, which is the only way, she needs to feel that you moved on completely. The problem is, most of the time you really did move on and won't want her back. It could have been a lot worse man....imagine being married to her, having kids with her and having her pull this ****. Then your life as you know it would be over. It would be 100x worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Stealth3 Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Watch this video: MOTIVATION - BE THE BEST YOU - YouTube Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 thanks they seem so good.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 when my ex will see that the result of gigs is SAME S HIT DIFFERENT A SS it will be late but i will get some justice i suppose... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 i am telling you this break up thing is messing with my mind big time brothers.... its saturday night i can ride the benzo wear my cool clothes and take any girl i want in the town though i cant cause all i do is thinking of her like a drug... its like a drug.... please god help me heal.... thank you all friends for your time Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 good morning all... just woke up and got this awfull brick like feeling on my chest.... and again bumped onto a pic with my ex,,,weird she looks like she went through a global scale destruction or saw the devil.... why? lolz.... i m warming up ang hitting some bar brothers physique.... johny is getting lean Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 guys really i analyzed her face and it looks -bitter- very bitter its not like we for drinks but we at a funeral lol i am sure she misses me...i believe that in octomber she will start to realize better.... :):) and then she will have to sleep at the bed she made... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 I can see you haven't let her go. You're not sticking to No Contact either. NC means no calls, no emails, no social media, no gazing at photos, convincing yourself that she's bitter. She's moving on with her life, you might want to do the same. Chances are, her life will work out just fine. You should try making some real life friends. This X10000000. You are going to keep pretty much writing post to yourself if you dont at least TRY and let this go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 29, 2013 Author Share Posted September 29, 2013 this thread is about my break up chronicles....i do all you say and is good in terms of letting go... a sneak pick is a curiosity only nth more...i didnt iniate any call..all the calls were initiated by her and i ignored fully.... convincing or not she is being bitter for real. lol now its only1.5 months post break up my progress is very good i believe... time ..time and time will be my success ..... i have friends.thanks I can see you haven't let her go. You're not sticking to No Contact either. NC means no calls, no emails, no social media, no gazing at photos, convincing yourself that she's bitter. She's moving on with her life, you might want to do the same. Chances are, her life will work out just fine. You should try making some real life friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 ooohh nice on top of all this the rainy season started(it will rain for days and days now) Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 just a small info that might not been said... the last days i was feeling neglected and took the car and drove to her to feel her, hug her, cause i needed her...(we were apart for 10 days cause she went to her parents village for traditional celebration thing) 1.5 hour drive and i arrived.. when i reached her we went for coffee and i touched her hand and talled her that i missed her and felt the urge to be next to her cause thats only makes me happy .... despite that she pulled the trigger later... sad story.... my last act made me look pathetic? i didnt know anything yet.... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 just a small info that might not been said... the last days i was feeling neglected and took the car and drove to her to feel her, hug her, cause i needed her...(we were apart for 10 days cause she went to her parents village for traditional celebration thing) 1.5 hour drive and i arrived.. when i reached her we went for coffee and i touched her hand and talled her that i missed her and felt the urge to be next to her cause thats only makes me happy .... despite that she pulled the trigger later... sad story.... my last act made me look pathetic? i didnt know anything yet.... Quit it. Doesnt matter at this point. Whats done is done. Quit torturing yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurts2death Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 and i have this awfull awfull weather its dark and rainy ,,,it doesnt help at all..... confusedhumanbeing can you tell me your opinion on that, i had a second number to talk with her and one night i turned off the mobile and the next day i got a text from the company that someone called with hidden number at 01.30 at night..that happened 6 days ago(a month nc post break up)... and 5 days ago she called at my normal number with hidden number again at 00 01 i guess she did the second to see if i have the same numbers or thrown away the first number which i didnt i just turned off the device and she called .lol. why would she the dumper call me hidden number that time ? to see what? it doenst make sence,,, i guess not to reconciliate for sure but for what? she knows my number she knows everything if she likes to call.... she dumped me and i was cool and polite no begging nth..just vanished politely as much as it hurts.... Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 and i have this awfull awfull weather its dark and rainy ,,,it doesnt help at all..... confusedhumanbeing can you tell me your opinion on that, i had a second number to talk with her and one night i turned off the mobile and the next day i got a text from the company that someone called with hidden number at 01.30 at night..that happened 6 days ago(a month nc post break up)... and 5 days ago she called at my normal number with hidden number again at 00 01 i guess she did the second to see if i have the same numbers or thrown away the first number which i didnt i just turned off the device and she called .lol. why would she the dumper call me hidden number that time ? to see what? it doenst make sence,,, i guess not to reconciliate for sure but for what? she knows my number she knows everything if she likes to call.... she dumped me and i was cool and polite no begging nth..just vanished politely as much as it hurts.... No one can really read the mind of anyone. Why she called that number (if that was even her), I couldnt tell you. People are really weird lol. My ex wrote an e-mail to me a couple weeks ago after a year just to rub it in my face about how "awesome" she is with her new guy and bash me for "things I didnt do while together" and then at the end hope I was doing well and whatever. Like you, WHY would someone do that? Regardless of reasons, I think the underlining issue here is you are overthinking the situation too much right now. This kind of thinking will murder you in the end. At the end of the day, the big picture is you guys are not together. Trying to keep the big picture in sight is hard, but self inflicted pain makes things SO much worse. Whats going to happen slowly, as long as you keep doing what youre doing, is your life is going to get better and happier, while she might get lower. You'll realize this was a great thing because when that happens, you wouldnt give a flying f*** what she is doing. Thats the best part. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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