GF is away and has started to date another person. Do I confront? Do I walk away?

[uzami]

Ok.

 

GF has been gone for 3 weeks. she is on the other side of the world for 6 months to travel. This has always been a dream of hers, and finally she made it there. She is 27, i'm 29. Now we were only dating for 5 months prior to her leaving but, as luck would have it, we fell for each other. Hard.

 

Because I always knew from the outset that she had this dream, I was only supportive of her desire to travel.

 

I am deeply in love with her, and I believe she feels the same.

 

The problem is I know that she has hooked up with someone while there. I know that her attitude is that this is her time away, and it's a bit of harmless fun.

 

I however feel devasted. I don't know how to address this with her. I don't know where to start, I can't confront her outright with the fact that I know that this has happened and I can't imagine that she is going to bring this up in conversation so.....

 

She says she is in love with me, and we are constantly in touch

 

I am supposed to heading over there for 3 weeks at the end of next month. I am now wracked with indecision. I always suspected that this may occur, but I am startled by my inability to be decide how to deal with it.

 

Can she truly be in love with me?

[bluechocolate]

I don't know how to address this with her.

 

Did you discuss the parameters of your relationship before she went on vacation? Did you two agree not to date anyone while she was away?

 

I don't know how to address this with her. I don't know where to start, I can't confront her outright with the fact that I know that this has happened and I can't imagine that she is going to bring this up in conversation so.....

 

...you will have to tell her. If you are both deeply in love as you say then trust & honesty have to be of the utmost importance.

 

I am supposed to heading over there for 3 weeks at the end of next month. I am now wracked with indecision.

 

I don't think you should go there with this hanging over you. It could ruin your time together & destroy your relationship for good. I think you should talk to her & soon. I can't really understand your hesitation to reveal how you've come across this information so perhaps you should just get it straight from her if she thinks she is free to date other guys while away.

[conster1181]

OK here is what I think you should look at. Take a step back in the relationship, or just call it off until she comes home. Let her know that also and the reasons behind it. This way you wont have to worry about what she is doing over there and she won't have to worry about what you are doing here in the states. I would still plan on going over there and spending time with her and getting to see the world. But you have to be very open with her. If things work out for the two of you, the great so be it.

[Merin]

Originally posted by bluechocolate

I don't know how to address this with her.

 

Did you discuss the parameters of your relationship before she went on vacation? Did you two agree not to date anyone while she was away?

 

I don't know how to address this with her. I don't know where to start, I can't confront her outright with the fact that I know that this has happened and I can't imagine that she is going to bring this up in conversation so.....

 

...you will have to tell her. If you are both deeply in love as you say then trust & honesty have to be of the utmost importance.

 

I am supposed to heading over there for 3 weeks at the end of next month. I am now wracked with indecision.

 

I don't think you should go there with this hanging over you. It could ruin your time together & destroy your relationship for good. I think you should talk to her & soon. I can't really understand your hesitation to reveal how you've come across this information so perhaps you should just get it straight from her if she thinks she is free to date other guys while away.

 

Excellent points...