I Don't Understand Overweight Women At All

[thefooloftheyear]

I've never been with a guy that didn't appreciate bigger woman. (And by bigger, I mean curves. I was 135lbs when I got married and had the hour glass figure and really no fat to speak of. I WISH I looked like that now. LOL) Now I'm bigger than that thanks to having kiddos (and enjoying baking and eating, I'll be honest) and when I talk about gaining weight, bf says "WHERE? You haven't gained weight!" Ummm...yeah, I have. Not much, but I sure have. When I talk about losing weight, he tells me he hopes I won't get too skinny or lose my @$$. LOL He loved the way I looked 60lbs ago and he loves the way I look now. I'm not sure he'll be as thrilled if I lose the final 30lbs that I'm aiming for!

 

Im glad you said that...Its true, few men really want a woman that you can bounce a quarter off her belly. They are about as rare as hens teeth anyway...Most guys like a meaty woman...I do!

 

Its just that some women take the interpretation of that to a whole nuther level....Then it could be a problem.

 

TFY

[GorillaTheater]

To be fair, I think he was saying specifically that he didn't understand why overweight women are so critical of ladies thinner (or more attractive) than they are. And as an overweight man, I have to say this is a quality I've noticed in women moreso than men.

 

Basically, I've never heard a guy - fat, thin, average, or otherwise - say anything to the effect of, "Grumble grumble, these stick-thin Brad Pitt types, starving themselves to look good... is that what women REALLY want?" This is not to say that heavyset men don't gripe about not getting enough attention from women, just that they don't seem to feel the need to tear down or belittle more attractive guys.

 

I can remember sitting in some of my college classes and hearing heavyset (or even just a little bit chubby) women complain about how hot, thin or toned women are "not what a REAL woman looks like," they have to starve themselves to be that way, etc. And I look around the class of a hundred or so people and think to myself, at least 60% of the women in here are what most would consider to be very attractive, so what world are these "real" women living in? They act like attractive women are some rarity, an unrealistic standard that all women are unfairly held to, that such women must starve themselves and otherwise ravage their bodies to look that way, etc. And it's patently untrue.

 

Essentially, I think a certain subset of women (women who may not be the exception, but are not the rule, either), for the purposes of bolstering their self-esteem, have been encouraged to think of themselves as "the average," as what "most women" look like, and to see anyone more or less (usually more) attractive than they are as some sort of aberration - as "part of the problem," so to speak. And again, I'm an overweight man, who knows what it's like to be treated with disdain by the opposite sex, so I say this with all sympathy for the self-esteem issues and dismissive behavior these women must deal with, probably on a daily basis.

 

I think this may be women's equivalent to the Alpha vs. Beta/Nice Guy vs. Jerk mentality among men. Since men are judged, in terms of what women are sexually responsive to, primarily by their possession of certain aggressive/alpha male characteristics - characteristics that have been socialized out of many men because they're no longer as economically advantageous as they once were - and women are judged primarily on base physical attractiveness, you get a parallel sort of dichotomy at work. Hence, you get women complaining about men only going for "stick-thin supermodels," and men complaining about women only going for "a**holes who treat them like sh*t."

 

Interesting post. I'm not sure I entirely agree with it, but it is thought-provoking.

[CrystalSLee]

There are many people who are obsessed or over weight.

Visit here

[Leigh 87]

It's really insulting to humanity that this thread is still going.

 

Really. " I don't understand obese or overweight women"

 

[Babolat]

Yes, women abuse the body type description on dating sites. "Average" could be 100 pounds overweight, and "Athletic" doesn't require any muscle tone at all.

 

And I love the common description "I'm not a stick thin Barbie and I'm not 350 lbs either." Great, so there's only a 250 pound range to guess, in which I'm guessing about 335.

 

But don't worry, she's not hiding anything with 8 pictures of just her face.

 

LMAO...been there, done that...look out for the black shirts and pants too if you get a full body picture.

 

I met a girl last week and it was obvious within seconds her online photos were at least 10 years old. Why? Why do this?

[Babolat]

I have recently read BMI is less regarded then it used to be. Weight can also be misleading in some instances (it would be for me). However, height to waist ratios seem to be gaining some more relevance.

 

Waist To Height Ratio Calculator

 

Funny you mention BMI. When I was married, I had to take an annual test at the ex's employer for health insurance reasons. 4 tests: cholesterol, blodd pressure, sugar and BMI. You had to pass 3 or your insurance rate went up.

 

At 6'3" 195 lbs I always failed the BMI. It said I should be 175 if I recall. Even the nurses laughed.

[Babolat]

It's really insulting to humanity that this thread is still going.

 

Really. " I don't understand obese or overweight women"

 

 

Well, like most forums, the thread subject gets fiurther and further away as the thread moves on....

 

I wish it was like email where you could change the subject.

[dichotomy]

Funny you mention BMI. When I was married, I had to take an annual test at the ex's employer for health insurance reasons. 4 tests: cholesterol, blodd pressure, sugar and BMI. You had to pass 3 or your insurance rate went up.

 

At 6'3" 195 lbs I always failed the BMI. It said I should be 175 if I recall. Even the nurses laughed.

 

 

I hear you. At that height, a 38-36 inch waist would be considered normal and healthy. below 36 inch waist you would be considered slender.

 

Weight is meaningless and so is BMI. Its always been the waist.

[Babolat]

I hear you. At that height, a 38-36 inch waist would be considered normal and healthy. below 36 inch waist you would be considered slender.

 

Weight is meaningless and so is BMI. Its always been the waist.

 

33" waist here so I guess I am slender!

 

I just think it's ridiculous to try to categorize body types or what someone "should" weigh, especiually for some kind of test. Everybody carries weight differently, muscle is heavier than fat, bone density, etc.

 

I dated a girl 5' 10" who weighed 145lbs and she had an incredible body. I have dated girls 5'2" who weighed 125lbs and had an incredible body. It's how she carries the weight in my opinion.

[FitChick]

Just have current photos!

[tomkat]

Overweight women... Mind you I'm talking overweight women who strut aromayell ing about howg ood they look... A lot of times have given up. Doesn't matter how many kids you've had, how long you've been big, or if you just don't give a crap, all women can become attractive and hwp. Just have to care about themselves

[TheBigQuestion]

It's really insulting to humanity that this thread is still going.

 

Really. " I don't understand obese or overweight women"

 

 

I suppose the thread title could be misleading. With that said, if you had bothered to read the first post and tried to follow any of the subsequent conversation, you would have realized that this thread has nothing to do with OP not understanding why obese women exist or anything of that nature, but instead has everything to do with certain attitudes they hold. I've encountered plenty of obese women (or women who inaccurately perceive themselves that way due to unfortunate emotional issues) who insist that being thin or in shape is unnatural and requires starvation, and who then disparage thinner women for being so. They also do what OP said: act like there is no middle ground between them and then women.

 

Before you start going on about insults to humanity, it may be more prudent for you to work on your reading comprehension first.

Edited October 2, 2013 by TheBigQuestion

[Nikki Sahagin]

How can you not understand overweight women but presumably understand overweight men?

 

There are numerous reasons a person is overweight/obese before you hold judgement. I met one woman who had been sexually abused all through her childhood and teenage years by her father. She told me she 'chose' obesity because she did not wish to be physically attractive to men. She wanted to be invisible/repellent. This is obviously an extreme case, but to me it is silly to judge or not understand why someone is overweight/obese. It should not matter to you and if you want to understand, you should listen, not criticise and condemn. If it is not your figure that is not to your taste, why do you care if someone else is overweight?

[crederer]

I have a friend who isn't overweight in the least, very athletic guy (played AAA baseball). He isn't super fit or ripped or anything but his body fat percentage is somewhere in the 9 % range or so. My coach used to say 7% is considered the perfect level for men in terms of athletes.

 

My friend is no longer a competitve athlete and hasn't been for years so I think he's doing pretty good. Well his doctor tells him he needs to trim a few pounds ....he has the same doctor I used to have, and she is a 300lbs woman.

 

I don't really know what my point is, but he just told me this story the other day and I found it fit into this thread somehow.

[Aedra]

I think some people are acting a tad too defensive here. You can't deny there are too many unhealthily overweight and obese people that act like everything is fine. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons why someone is overweight and struggling but I dare say the vast majority of us lack discipline to keep in shape. I know I am about 20lbs overweight, I have no excuse. I used to make excuses but I eat too much, plan and simple. I think as women, because body image is such a touchy issue for most of us, we just get too hurt easily over weight.

[Aedra]

oops, double post.

[stillafool]

Wouldn't it help to alleviate guessing if the dating sites asked for height and weight? I've never visited one of these sites but that would take the guess work out of it.

[ScreamingTrees]

How can you not understand overweight women but presumably understand overweight men?

 

There are numerous reasons a person is overweight/obese before you hold judgement. I met one woman who had been sexually abused all through her childhood and teenage years by her father. She told me she 'chose' obesity because she did not wish to be physically attractive to men. She wanted to be invisible/repellent. This is obviously an extreme case, but to me it is silly to judge or not understand why someone is overweight/obese. It should not matter to you and if you want to understand, you should listen, not criticise and condemn. If it is not your figure that is not to your taste, why do you care if someone else is overweight?

 

Erm.. I don't think that the OP considers men potentials for anything more than platonic friendship, let alone overweight men. I'm sure he may feel the same way about men.

 

I personally don't outwardly judge, because you obviously can't tell if the person can help it or not.. I just go for someone who is attractive to me, but treat everyone with the same level of respect. Nothing wrong with this. Perhaps the OP is talking about the women who CAN do something about their weight?

 

I highly doubt that even half of the US obese population is literally physically unable to lose the weight.. The general population was most likely in much better shape years ago.. So something must have changed. I can think of a few things.

[dichotomy]

Again its all relative to me, unless they are bigger then me I aint got an issue. And most women are not bigger... so all the more for me!

 

Except the pixies - no pixes. I break them like toothpick. So size 10 and up only please I don't need to be held for inflecting injuries.