Tres Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I am planning a vacation for the Caribbean in September. I was looking for a friend of any gender to join me. I have found a man, 45 y.o online who wants to join me. I have never met him IRL and he wants me to make the decision after the first meeting. He does want us to stay in the same room during the vacation. I will pay for myself. On the one hand, I hate to be alone during the vacation. On the other hand, I do not know want to expect from the man. Also, I am not a woman who wants to please sexually any random stranger. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
aussietigerwolf Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I think him wanting to stay in the same room is a good idea of his expectations... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 you must know he will want sex, you just want to think you have a good co-traveller, do not be so naïve, dearie Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tres Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I think him wanting to stay in the same room is a good idea of his expectations... I can understand his expectations. I guess many men would be happy to stay in the same room and have sex with a random attractive stranger on their vacations. Link to post Share on other sites
LBlanc Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 I can understand his expectations. I guess many men would be happy to stay in the same room and have sex with a random attractive stranger on their vacations. You might also want to think about "The Implication"... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Is it a cruise by any chance? Because then it is an even better idea. International waters mean the laws are murky and plenty of ocean to hide the body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 (edited) Suggestion: don't do it. You say you don't want it to be sexual at all, but when he advises that he expects to stay in the same room, you still agree to meet? Perhaps have a look at what your actions imply, so as to avoid giving people the wrong impression. It's so easy to make friends traveling. You're obviously quite uncomfortable with spending any time on your own if you're willing to go to these lengths to find a travel companion, so I think doing it on your own will be very good from you. Or, find a female companion who is looking for the same thing you are. Go into it with a positive attitude, and you will get a lot out of it. Edited August 31, 2013 by almond 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tres Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 I have just met him for the first time. He told me that he was looking for a partner for travelling and was not looking for a serious romantic R with me. We were talking about the trip for a few hrs. I let him know that I would be OK to stay with him in the same room only if he was not interested in sex with me. He has answered me that he would be happy to be just friends during the trip. I was very surprised but he was really happy about that. I guess I was fortunate enough to find a man who was not interested in sex with me. I was sure that he was totally sincere about that. I think that it is totally safe to sleep in the same room with him. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 You are nuts... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tres Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 You are nuts... Thank you. But, I think that it is possible that a man might feel very uncomfortable to stay alone on a trip. So do I. That is why he might be OK to travel with a woman who is not his type. Also, he wants to stay in the same room because it is cheaper. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 You don't know this man. Don't put yourself in this compromising situation with someone you not only don't know, but don't want to be intimate with. I'm sure he is counting on you giving into the moment when sharing a room, even if your resolve originally was to not be sexually intimate. As other posters have said, this is insane. If you want to take a cruise on your own, then there are cruises meant for singles where people will not be matched up. There are also group vacations that people can take where they don't have a travel companion, but they stick with the group and do things as a group. My aunt used to travel a lot with these organized travel groups after her husband died, where she didn't know the people in advance, but had a group to travel with. Or she would ask one of her lady friends to travel with her. My older sister did this also when she was single (went with a girlfriend or joined a travel group). To hook up with a strange man and let him stay in your cabin/room is just asking for trouble, and is not a good plan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyjuan Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 No!, just no! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tres Posted August 31, 2013 Author Share Posted August 31, 2013 He told me that his wife died 2 yrs ago from cancer. He loved her very much. That is why he is not ready for a romantic R and sex is not very important to him. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Have a backup plan ready in case you meet him in person and get a bad vibe. You really are kinda playing russian roulette. Hope you get the right chamber. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 Tourists getting raped in the Caribbean isn't that uncommon. Probably because the police are corrupt and if you pay them enough money they will look the other way. They will probably not believe you because who in their right mind shares a room with a total stranger thinking that sex will not be involved? Note to self: Read past posts and threads to see if there is a common theme running through them, like living under a bridge (cough, cough). Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted August 31, 2013 Share Posted August 31, 2013 well.. the fact that you don't have a friend willing to accompany you in a holiday together gives us a clue as to your social skills. the fact that you go online to look for a date gives another clue as to your ability to interact with male partners in real life. And the fact that you would propose a complete stranger to share a room with you, during your holidays, gives another clue about your ability to evaluate certain situation that most people would judge ... awkward, not to say risky. Is that you in your avatar picture ? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 Is that you in your avatar picture ? I really doubt it. Looks like an advert for Ukranian brides. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted September 1, 2013 Share Posted September 1, 2013 ^ A tour group is a great idea - good suggestion. OP - you cannot possibly trust this man after only one meeting. He is a "total stranger" as you have acknowledged. You have been given a lot of good advice in this thread, as well as multiple alternatives to your original idea. However, you seem quite set on this plan of yours, and not open to other suggestions. I hope you understand the risks involved, as you come across as quite naive. So, I hope you have a safe and enjoyable trip - good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tres Posted September 1, 2013 Author Share Posted September 1, 2013 (edited) Thank you for the good suggestions! I think you are right about the situation. My avatar pic is not me. Edited September 1, 2013 by Tres Link to post Share on other sites
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