flower Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I was with my hubby in a weekend excursion with a group of people whom we meet in a monthly gathering. All knew we are a married couple. During one spot, my hubby offered to take a picture of one of the girl as he thought it was an interesting background. At that time, the group of 50 was calling for mass photo shoot. In the shuffling to pose for the huge group photo, I heard that girl asking my hubby for a return individual shot of himself which he posed for her at the same spot. Oblivious to him, I had witnessed it all. The group managed to take 3 photos and in all 3, none did he appear beside me despite waiting in silence and hope. For barbecue, the big group separated into 5 groups. The girl did not belong to our group. When we were having barbecue in our own groups, she came to join our group towards the ending, sitting next to me and hubby. They did not talk as I was between them. In the bus journey back,my hubby showed to me the picture he took of that girl. At the end of the trip, most had alighted except her, us and 2 others. It seems to me that she is waiting for my hubby and a chance to talk to him. But as I was around, she did not talk to me. Back home after the trip, I asked my hubby some questions: "So, remember you took a picture of that girl," - "Yes," "Did two of you take a shot together?" - "No," "Did she take a shot of you alone?" - Some pause followed by "No" I confronted him that I knew that she had taken an individual shot of him. At that point, he admitted that it did happen. His negative reply was to prevent me from thinking on the wrong track as he really has no interest in her. I can understand that he has no interest in that girl but his unconscious playfulness or sociability might lead that girl to misunderstand his actions. Why then would she be waiting to talk to him and hanging around us? To me, it was plain flirtation but he deadly denied it and said "I was being too much!" and if such is the consequences, we should refrain from participating in group activities after all. Any kind soul, please share with me your view point? Was he flirting or was it nothing? If so, how can I get him to correct his ways of misleading women into thinking he has interest in them. How should I deal with this problem? I am also mad with the fact that some girls out there flirts with men even when the wife is around! Thanks :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 You know - a married man can met a woman and find an interest in her that has nothing more than an intention to be a friend. What's wrong with your husband wanting to talk to someone he met? Is he not allowed to talk to any other woman but you? In my opinion, you're making too much of this. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 The group managed to take 3 photos and in all 3, none did he appear beside me despite waiting in silence and hope. Why didn't you just approach him & tell him you wanted to be next to him in one of the photo's? Has he given you any reasons to feel jealous & insecure like this? Was he flirting or was it nothing? I call "nothing" on this one. .....and if such is the consequences, we should refrain from participating in group activities after all. This is a bad thing & will not be very good for your marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Nocturnalkitee Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Originally posted by Pocky Is he not allowed to talk to any other woman but you? In my opinion, you're making too much of this. I agree with Pocky & Bluechocolate . Why are you so insecure? Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 where was her husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Author flower Posted November 16, 2004 Author Share Posted November 16, 2004 Thanks for your consensus replies I see your point. Guess I was so insecure as I had left everything ..job, parents, friends...back home to live with him overseas due to his job posting. So if anything goes wrong, I have a lot to lose. ok, shall apologise to him for making a fuss due to my possessiveness. Thanks once more. tattoomytoe: the other girl is single. Link to post Share on other sites
deesgirl Posted November 19, 2004 Share Posted November 19, 2004 I would wonder also why they were taking solo pics instead of taking the group pics with you. If it was great scenery, why wasn't he asking you to take the pic? I guess I just have a different attitude than the people here. I think if you're going to have opposite sex friends inside of marriage, they should be friends with both the husband and wife. Link to post Share on other sites
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