What do i do, my girlfriend wants to experience other people.

[UnkeysMunkle]

hey all, i'm new to the forum and i need advice.

 

Recently my girlfriend's sex drive has deminished to almost nothing, and she says the reason is that she needs to experience what it's like to be with another man. I was her first in almost everything, so she doesn't have the experience. We've been together for a long time, and i really love her a lot. It's even corssed my mind that she might be "The One". For that reason it kills me to think of her with another man. But she wants to very badly. She insists that it's not going to change our relationship. I dont want to say no because i'm afraid that she'll do it anyways, or break up with my temporarly to do it. But i dont want to say yes because it would break my heart.

Another thing i'm afraid of if i let her do it is that she might like it more than when she's "with me" and break up with me to be with that other person, or to just try other people in general. The only reassurance i have is that she tells me that she wouldn't leave me, and it wouldn't affect our relationship.

 

So my questions are:

 

Do i have anything to worry about?

Do i let her do it?

If not, how do i convince her not to?

if so how do i deal with it?

 

Thanks in advance, and help is greatly appreciated.

[Cecelius]

I say this very, very gently but very emphatically:

 

Dump her. She already dumped you (she just wants an option for when she doesn't have anything else to do).

 

She may be a great person (in a few years once she's learned a few things about life), and she has very rational reasons for proceeding the way she is proceeding.

 

But she is NOT the One if she is capable of wanting to have relations with other men. Maybe she's too young, maybe you and she met at the wrong time, maybe you're perfect but just not now, maybe lots of things.

 

But this is doom: think about it, she goes to college and on some friday night after you either agreed to see other people or told her no, she goes out, drinks a little, etc. You're sitting home thinking about what could be going on.

 

I wouldn't spend 5 minutes thinking that way.

 

Walk away. Walk away.

[bluechocolate]

I completely agree with the previous post. Walking away will save you so much turmoil & heartache - you'll be kicking yourself black & blue if you have to learn that lesson the hard way - save yourself from the agony now, life will be much better if you do.

[UnkeysMunkle]

those are good points, and something for me to think about. But i'm so in love with her, and i can't think of what she would do if we weren't together. And when i do it hurts. I dont want to lose her, but like you all said it would save the more heartache in the long run.

 

I really dont know what to do. Although i want to end it in a way, i can't bring myself to do it.

 

I know she loves me, she shows it all the time, and i can understand where she is comeing from. But it doesn't save me any heartache.

 

I dont think i've ever been this confused about anything in my life.

[MelodyJ]

Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them.

------------------ Kahlil Gibran

 

SO TRUE!

 

Sorry to say it as well, but as a woman, I have to tell you that if she has a desire to find out what it may be like to be with someone else, if even just physically, it is not going to go away. And, if you stay with her while she finds out what she thinks she is missing, you will truly be in for major heartache. Everytime you are with her it will be all you can think about, and whe the two of you are having sex, you will think about who else she may have been with and it will make you crazy. Let it go and walk away. She is trying to tell you something and no matter how much you don't want to hear it, it is still what she wants. Better she finds out what she is searching for on her own, and not trample you in the process.

Just one womans opinion.

M

[Soul Doubt]

Man Dump, Dump Her Fast I can't remember who but I think It was Ms M that what she is feeling is no0t going to go away... I know you love her, and it's hard, but it will be better this way. Do it now and maybe yinz can salvage your Friendship and down the line when she grows up...You stay with her now, all this love will be replaced with HAte

[Nocturnalkitee]

UnkeysMunkle

 

How old is your gf?

[morrigan]

End the relationship now. No matter how much you love her, she wants to be with other people. You can't change what she wants, and she is going to either break up with you or cheat on you if you don't realize your relationship is over.

 

If you two break up, she can be with whoever she wishes, but you are under no obligation to put your life on hold for her.

[cam]

got to feel sorry for you i would go mad if my gf said that i would show here the door straight away and try and get on with my life if thats what she wants shell proberlly get it with out you nowing how do you no she hasnt already.

life is to short get rid of her and get on with yours , you will get over her.

[urdreamgurl_katie]

I dated this guy for 10 months and we were going to get married and move out soon.Well something happend with his family and we started to fight all the time.So we had an arguement one day and he said it was over.So I started datin someone else then my ex decided to come back and try to date me again.I said no so he moved to washington with his family and hasnt talked to me in 4 months what should I do to help me get over it?

[babybear]

I would be really really hurt by this...but at the same time her feelings arent going to go away. She's not a bad person for feeling this way, but she's going to have to go on her way and figure these things out. I know you probably feel like, what is she looking for when she's got you there, but she's curious and she wants to know. I wouldnt stick around and give her the green light to have you and whomever else, you deserve more than that. tell her that its over, and that you need to move onl

 

Bb