Julie Posted March 3, 1999 Share Posted March 3, 1999 my 5 month boyfriend found out that i slept with 2 more guys (one-night stand) after i told him i had 2 boyfriends in my life. now he can`t trust me, he believe that everything i tell him is a lie and calls me bad name. we are still going out together (7 months altogether) but we fight a lot about this. we watch tv sometimes and he recalls alot my pass... i don`t want to feel like i am a bad girl because i treat him very well(since the beggining) and that mess didn`t stop me to love him but i feel that he don`t love me like he used too!!! i don`t want to lose him, i just want to make him trust me again... is it possible??? Link to post Share on other sites
Bluecat Posted March 3, 1999 Share Posted March 3, 1999 Well, first off do you still have 'flings' with other guys? And why did you do that in the first place? If you really love somebody, then you will be committed to them completely. This kind of trust is hard to earn back after an incident like that. You need to ask yourself if you truly love him and want to be with him and him alone. Then you can begin to build trust again. Perhaps you should spend some time apart and see if you can hold out for him. The best way to go about this I think is to start over. I am a firm believer in not having pre-marital sex for this very reason: it shows that you are committed and will be faithful to your spouse. It is never too late to change your habits. BC Link to post Share on other sites
kiey Posted March 3, 1999 Share Posted March 3, 1999 I don't think/believe pre-marital sex will prevent you from being faithful to your husband, especially if you've had pre-marital sex with the man/woman you've married. Julie, I do have to agree with Bluecat, if you truly loved your boyfriend, I don't think you would've had 2 one night stands. You not only made one mistake but another of the same type. If there is a chance that your relationship can be repaired, it will take some serious time, patience and efforts of both parties. I'm not sure how old you are, but give it some time. More importantly, his regaining trust for you does not warrant/allow for him to disrespect you in any way. If he disrespects you the way you say he is, is it worth your time/effort/energy etc. for him to regain trust for someone he doesn't respect anyway? If you feel it's worth it, just be patient and maybe he'll come around, or not. Either way never let ANYONE disrespect you, and always keep your head above the clouds. Kiey Well, first off do you still have 'flings' with other guys? And why did you do that in the first place? If you really love somebody, then you will be committed to them completely. This kind of trust is hard to earn back after an incident like that. You need to ask yourself if you truly love him and want to be with him and him alone. Then you can begin to build trust again. Perhaps you should spend some time apart and see if you can hold out for him. The best way to go about this I think is to start over. I am a firm believer in not having pre-marital sex for this very reason: it shows that you are committed and will be faithful to your spouse. It is never too late to change your habits. BC Link to post Share on other sites
Thiamine Posted March 13, 1999 Share Posted March 13, 1999 my 5 month boyfriend found out that i slept with 2 more guys (one-night stand) after i told him i had 2 boyfriends in my life. now he can`t trust me, he believe that everything i tell him is a lie and calls me bad name. we are still going out together (7 months altogether) but we fight a lot about this. we watch tv sometimes and he recalls alot my pass... i don`t want to feel like i am a bad girl because i treat him very well(since the beggining) and that mess didn`t stop me to love him but i feel that he don`t love me like he used too!!! i don`t want to lose him, i just want to make him trust me again... is it possible??? It's your fault you slept around, and you deserve to have your trust taken away. He's not going to love you like he used to, either that or it will take a very long time. Trust is absolutely essential in a relationship and you pretty much blew it. Why did you sleep with the other guys if you love your boyfriend so much? I think you need to take a break from this guy and give yourself (and him) some space to figure things out. Best wishes Love, Thiamine Link to post Share on other sites
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