Bubbles Posted January 5, 2001 Share Posted January 5, 2001 Hello everyone, Just kinda surfed my way over here. Ever since I came back from a week with my boyfriend on a trip to my mother's, I have been severely depressed. He hasn't called me once since we've been back, over a week now. We've talked but only when I call him. He always seems disinterested in talking to me and I end up crying all night because I don't know what I've done wrong. I need help. Should I leave him alone? Maybe he needs some space. I'm starting to feel the same way. I need some time to myself. But do I really??? I don't know what I want and I hate that he doesn't either. I love him. We've been together almost two years and this whole thing is killing me inside. HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
BubblesPPG Posted January 5, 2001 Share Posted January 5, 2001 I am the same person who just posted this original message. I saw there was another Bubbles so I changed my nickname. Sorry, other Bubbles. Link to post Share on other sites
Beesting Posted January 5, 2001 Share Posted January 5, 2001 Well, have you talked about his distant behavior with him in a frank and open manner? Have you discussed your own reactions to his manner? You shouldn't try to guess what someone else is feeling. This is the difference between simply talking and actually communicating. The nunber one reason for breakups is lack of communication and few couples actually know how to communicate. You have to relay your feelings to him as well, since no one can read minds. You can't simply guess to see what your partner is feeling and take action from unsubstantiated suspicions. Try asking him to meet with you for drinks or coffee and having a low key conversation about why things have recently felt uncomfortable for you and why you think you need space. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 5, 2001 Share Posted January 5, 2001 I agree, I think you need to at least let him know that his emotional distance feels bad to you, since you have been together for 2 years. You don't have to get really dramatic about it, but just say it nicely, once. Or, you could wait for him to miss you again and give you a call, meanwhile you get yourself very busy so you are not sitting by the phone waiting for him. Going on vacation with a bf/gf can put a relationship to the test. You are thrown together morning, noon, and night and it might be too much for one or the other or both. You don't get to miss each other when you are with each other all the time. Very, very compatible couples can do it, but travelling with someone is like a litmus test for compatibility and may be a predictor for the future of the relationship. Well, have you talked about his distant behavior with him in a frank and open manner? Have you discussed your own reactions to his manner? You shouldn't try to guess what someone else is feeling. This is the difference between simply talking and actually communicating. The nunber one reason for breakups is lack of communication and few couples actually know how to communicate. You have to relay your feelings to him as well, since no one can read minds. You can't simply guess to see what your partner is feeling and take action from unsubstantiated suspicions. Try asking him to meet with you for drinks or coffee and having a low key conversation about why things have recently felt uncomfortable for you and why you think you need space. good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BubblesPPG Posted January 6, 2001 Share Posted January 6, 2001 Yes, I've talked to him about this several times. He says he's sick of talking about it all the time. We haven't spoken about this in a LONG, LONG time. He says I'm this way all the time, I don't agree. I've never felt this bad before, EVER. He broke a date with me last night and took a friend from work to what he was planning to take me to. He told me he would call when he got home and didn't. Last night, we talked for nearly 3 hours on the phone about everything and I thought things were fine and then again he forgot to call. Do all men forget to call??????? Most of the ones in my life do. UGH! Thanks for reading and responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Deejette Posted January 8, 2001 Share Posted January 8, 2001 He is not being very nice to you by not calling and by taking that other person out instead of you. He is not considering your feelings at all. Now that I see that clearly, I would say don't even try to talk to him about the subject of how hurt you are again. Don't be so available to him and put some emotional distance between yourself and him. It will hurt, but you have to present yourself as someone who is not pleading and desperate. Let him miss you. If he doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be anyway and you would only find that out further down the line. Yes, I've talked to him about this several times. He says he's sick of talking about it all the time. We haven't spoken about this in a LONG, LONG time. He says I'm this way all the time, I don't agree. I've never felt this bad before, EVER. He broke a date with me last night and took a friend from work to what he was planning to take me to. He told me he would call when he got home and didn't. Last night, we talked for nearly 3 hours on the phone about everything and I thought things were fine and then again he forgot to call. Do all men forget to call??????? Most of the ones in my life do. UGH! Thanks for reading and responding. Link to post Share on other sites
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