BF doesn't like to stay out too late with me but he will when with his friends! Why??

[confused8787]

When my bf of 2 years goes out with his cousins (guys), he usually hangs out with them till midnight or 1am and then goes back to his house and falls asleep. However, when he and I hang out he is always so tired and really relaxed. He ends up wanting to go to bed by 11, sometimes earlier!

The frustrating part is that he works manual labor and I know by the end of the day he is exhausted. So when he is alone, doesn't hang out with anyone, he could very well fall asleep by 9/10pm. When he hangs out with the guys they play video games or talk about cars, guy stuff, nothing weird. And he will stay out quite late! When he is with me, we do more couple stuff like watch movies, go out to dinner, cook together and cuddle, talk etc. When I ask him if he wants to go out and get a drink or talk at a coffee shop he is sometimessss up for it. But mostly he says he isn't really in the mood, would rather stay in with me. I have even suggested comedy shows and lounges etc. If we do end up going out at night he usually likes to come back by 11. Part of it might be his cousins and him do free stuff, my bf is broke a lot of the times and I would have to pay for him for the movies and shows etc. But even if his cousins go out to eat they pay for him when he is short on cash! So why is it different??

I feel like I am just boring or something, that he does the fun stuff with them after work and with me he wants to sleep early so he can spend less time with me or something. I know it's crazy reasoning and I know the dynamic is going to be different between him and his cousins and him and me. But I can't help feeling the way I do. I feel like he has more energy with them after a long day than he does with me.

I have brought it up and he got kinda annoyed I was comparing the two lol. He was like, do I go to nice dinners with my cousins or do I take them to frozen yogurt? He said, I do some things with you and some with them. They don't have to be the same.

[TheGuard13]

Does he see them a lot less often than he sees you.

 

If so, there's your answer. He's having fun and maximizing his time with them by spending more time with them less often.

 

Lots of guys do this.

 

"Guy time" is usually a lot more laid back and relaxing than an actual "date", even if it's just a movie. It requires less effort, energy, etc in a lot of ways.

[hudson701]

Because when he's out with his mates on a massive bender he'll be getting up to no good till stupid-o-clock in the morning. All boys do it.

[confused8787]

Does he see them a lot less often than he sees you.

 

If so, there's your answer. He's having fun and maximizing his time with them by spending more time with them less often.

 

Lots of guys do this.

 

"Guy time" is usually a lot more laid back and relaxing than an actual "date", even if it's just a movie. It requires less effort, energy, etc in a lot of ways.

 

So during the school year he generally never sees them but starting this summer he saw them a lot more often than he saw me. This was because he lives far from me, about 45 minutes away and his cousins live a few mins from him. So they tend to randomly drop in and go out. He also said he was trying to reconnect with them since he went mia during the school year.

 

It hurt a bit that he put them before me. I mean I still got one or two nights with him but I guess I am not really happy with that. But driving 45 mins to me is not easy. It's expensive and sometimes he doesnt have the gas money for it. And it's prob embarrassing to tell me he can't afford to come to me. But that's not the point of the thread, it's more that I don't get why he has the energy with them after a long day of work but with me it's more mellow?

[Sanman]

Here is a simple thought. Do you two have a lot of sex before bed? If so, that is why he wants to go to bed early. He isn't doing that with his cousins.